Dad's who are actively involved

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Dad's who are actively involved

Postby relax mum » Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:39 pm

Hi all, my daughter said she noticed that Dads are so actively involved especially with this PSLE prep, sec school selection and all the related logistics. I tend to agree and believe there is a very positive impact on our kids. Your thoughts and experience?

relax mum
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:41 am
Total Likes: 0


Dad's who are actively involved

Postby relax mum » Wed Jan 01, 2014 9:39 pm

Hi all, my daughter said she noticed that Dads are so actively involved especially with this PSLE prep, sec school selection and all the related logistics. I tend to agree and believe there is a very positive impact on our kids. Your thoughts and experience?

relax mum
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:41 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby sembgal » Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:22 am

Not all fathers like to be actively involved with their daughters. Mine, thankfully bonded very well with his daughter. When my dd was a toddler, we attended parenting talks before to raise our awareness how to be better parents. One good tip to share is the way the father treats her daughter, will be the type of husband, the daughter will find in future. If the father treats the daughter respectfully, laugh and joke with her, talk to her, treat her like princess (open door for her, pull out chair for her sit, buy gifts for her, most probably, the daughter will grow up to find a prince of her own. On the other hand, if the father does not set a good example, refuses opportunity for bonding sessions with his daughter, the child will grow up to find the Bo chap type of men in her life. ( I have friends who lamented about their husbands' preference for boys and do not bond much with the daughters).

sembgal
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2941
Joined: Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:36 pm
Total Likes: 39


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby relax mum » Wed Jan 08, 2014 7:59 am

Hi semgal, I think we are the fortunate ones. :) Ya, we also went to parenting talks, read books and get tips from friends with preteens and teenagers. I'd like to encourage all Daddies in this forum (if they are in this forum, I believe they are not the bo chap type) to spend more time with their kids, not just about school work but really quality time bonding with them especially with their daughters :)

relax mum
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:41 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby janet88 » Wed Jan 08, 2014 8:30 am

dads who are actively involved in their children's lives from young will bond well. hubby and daughter have little secrets...son shares IT stuff with daddy...digital life section every wed is their precious paper.

janet88
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 33729
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:37 am
Total Likes: 111



Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby celebratelife » Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:48 am

Hi relax mum,

I believe that dads and mums play different roles in a child's life. This is especially so for daughters than sons, where the former tend to look to their fathers as authority figures, who instruct and provide them with directions in life. Nevertheless, regardless of the child's gender, dads' role in a child's life is instrumental to his or her life development.

Fathers are often portrayed as masculine, directive, confident and mature.

Nevertheless, I believe that men do have their softer sides, or there wouldn't be terms such as "Sensitive New Age Guy" (SNAG) or "metrosexuals" coined by the media in recent years. Masculinity is merely being overtly expressed in males (be it intentional or compelled by societal expectations) and the softer sides of males are often being ruthlessly suppressed.

Man are often expected to be alpha males, to be assertive rather than passive, to be directive rather than servile , to be confident rather than cowardly, to have an inner drive rather than an idler. These are all qualities that ladies look for in the dating arena, isn't it? :wink: For such males are perceived to be great father figures for their offsprings, yes?

But humans, regardless of gender, possess both ends of the personality spectrum. And the opposites of strengths often do not imply weakness. Passive individuals are thought leaders who think before they act (and get into less trouble). "Coward" is merely another term for meticulousness and discernment, which are criteria for success in life. An idler is merely a late developer who has yet to find his or her footing in life.

So, dads are great mentors and guides in a child's life - including their academic ones. This is true regardless of which personality they possess.

Warmest Regards,
Patrick
http://www.patricktay.wordpress.com

celebratelife
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:59 am
Total Likes: 0


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby atrecord » Thu Jan 09, 2014 9:06 am

How involved is considered active?

I'm not as involved as DW, definitely, and to some extent I would need to work harder on that.

We're both working, but DW makes sure that kids do their homework, and will scream after them if they don't. I will take over only for Science, and occasionally for Maths.

atrecord
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2222
Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:25 am
Total Likes: 6


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby UncleLim » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:05 am

janet_lee88 wrote:dads who are actively involved in their children's lives from young will bond well. hubby and daughter have little secrets...son shares IT stuff with daddy...digital life section every wed is their precious paper.


Spot on, Janet ! Digital Life supplement is for Dads and Sons. My daughter is not interested but she uses me to test cookies, muffins and other unhealthy stuff she bakes ! :wink:

UncleLim
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 682
Joined: Sat Jan 09, 2010 10:47 am
Total Likes: 7


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby janet88 » Thu Jan 09, 2014 10:13 am

every Wednesday, son will look out for digital life after school...then pore over every section. that is the ONLY time he touches the newspapers. then discuss with daddy...so called 'men's talk'.

with daughter, they both have their own discussion on what'sapp...more like what she is aiming for which i will disagree...as i do not believe in spoiling her.

janet88
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 33729
Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 10:37 am
Total Likes: 111


Re: Dad's who are actively involved

Postby relax mum » Thu Jan 09, 2014 11:41 pm

My hubby occasionally bakes with my dd .... :) cos I can't and not interested. He does a lot of the PTMs in primary school as I have very long and sometimes irregular work hrs. And since I have been maidless for almost 2 yes, he does the simple breakfast daily. :)

With DS, hubby is the clown, phone games and TV buddy. They both like science so DS likes to talkabout what he reads in Young scientist. And yes, DS likes to whine about the housework and home rules I set)

I am the disciplinarian, master project planner (marketing on weekends, which tuition centre etc). I am also the judge when they have disagreements, the caregiver when they are sick or need someone to talk to and movie buddy. :)

relax mum
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 80
Joined: Sun Nov 24, 2013 8:41 am
Total Likes: 0



Return to Working With Your Child