My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

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My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby xueyan » Mon Feb 03, 2014 2:56 pm

Hi all

Can somebody advise me on this. My son is 6 years old this year. His motor skills are not very good, so I always bring him to indoor playground, hoping he will improve it. It helps but not very much.

Till now, he is afraid of water slides. He dare not even try it. He is also afraid of climbing up high in the heartland playground. Once he reach 3 steps, he will come down immediately.

I have tried all means to encourage him to be more daring to try out different things in the playground. I told him that I would buy him ice-cream, let him watch TV..... but he still remain coward. As such, I am really reluctant to bring him to theme park as I feel it is a waste of $

What should I do?

xueyan
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby slmkhoo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 4:35 pm

If his motor skills are not good, then his fear is a likely to be a defence mechanism. The way to overcome this is not to encourage him with bribes (which is what you describe), but to help him develop his skills so that he can do more and increase his confidence. Focus on one or just a few skills at a time, and get him to increase what he can do in slow increments. Be very patient and encouraging, and celebrate every new step even if he is much slower than others his age. For example, if his limit is 3 steps, then encourage him to do 4 and congratulate him. After he has gained some confidence, then encourage him to do 5 etc. You may have to teach him very specifically and you may have to show him where to hold, how to position his feet/hands/body etc. He may have some fear of heights, or have poor balance, or have poor coordination. Whatever it is, work on it in small steps. Asking him to take big steps may prevent him from even trying. I have a child who could not cope with HDB playground equipment until she was about 6yo, and is still poor in balance and many physical skills. That's just the way she was made. Hope this helps.

slmkhoo
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby ammonite » Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:26 pm

Simkhoo makes many good points.

I am wondering what is "everything"? From your post it seems that he is only afraid of heights.

ammonite
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby rains » Mon Feb 03, 2014 5:31 pm

Please don't think of not trying rides at theme parks as a waste of money. I am a scaredy cat too and I only took 2 or 3 kiddy rides when I went to universal studio. I don't see it as a waste of money. It's good enough that I know what the universal studio is like and whether I like it or not.

I only got to play at two areas when I went adventure cove because I have this great fear of falling into water and not able to stand up, but again, I don't see it as a waste of money just because I don't get to play at all areas. I stood at the water slides for a long time and decided not to do them because I was afraid that I'd really fall into the water even tho I hadn't seen anyone falling.

Have you done the water slides with your son on your lap? The fear is very real so don't ever dismiss it as cowardice.

rains
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby JohnYeo » Mon Feb 03, 2014 10:59 pm

i'm also wondering if the fear or the not-so-good feeling, that is stopping your child from taking another step forward, can be really overwhelming for your child such that tv and ice cream aren't strong enough motivators...so need to find the root cause...which may be causing a lot of discomfort for your child...and maybe, it could be related to some unpleasant experience in the past...

JohnYeo
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby iggy » Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:32 am

They indicate the target age of most public playgrounds. you may want to try going to those meant for "younger" children as they could be less intimidating. Acknowledge their fears and do the activities with thechild. my child had a similar challenge and wont try if there
are other children around, so you may also want to find a "safe" environment for him or her to practise.

iggy
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby xueyan » Wed Mar 05, 2014 1:10 pm

First of all thanks all for advice. I just like to report the development.

Slmkhoo, I have heeded your advice. I try to be very patient with my boy this time. First its the water slide. As DH and I have encouraged him umpteen times about trying the water slide. He finally made it! First we let him try on those that meant for toddlers. Upon building his confidence, we encourage him on the higher ones. And he finally pluck his courage to try them. At the end of the day, DS felt very good about it as well.

He is definitely more confident about trying new things!

Thanks!

xueyan
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Re: My son, 6yo is afraid of everything!

Postby slmkhoo » Wed Mar 05, 2014 2:19 pm

Glad to hear he's learning new things!

slmkhoo
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