Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.


Postby chuanchuan » Sat Aug 02, 2008 3:27 pm

My son is 2.5 years old.
He started N1 a month ago. He still cries in school. He will smile to the teachers and friends, the moment I left, he will cry a bit. Half way thru class, he will start to cry again. Recently the crying get worse.

He is now in the opposite phrase. Every thing I ask him to do, he will say the opposite (in a calm manner). He just wants to challenge us verbally. We call him Mr Opposite.

Eg. Mum :Come change into clean shirt.
Son :No, I want to wear dirty one.

Mum: Wear nice shirt, we are going out
Son : I want to wear ugly shirt

Mum: Chilli is hot, it will burn your tongue
Son: I want to burn my tongue

Mum : Be careful
Son : I want to fall down

Mum : Come and have your food
Son : I want to eat from the floor

Mum : Wear shoes to protect your toes
Son : I want to wear slipper and get hurt by things

When in lift, he will say :" I want to go in front to block the way" ,we as parents feel very embrassed by his remark.

He sometime tells me : "Mummy, I want to be a naughty boy"

The list goes on and on. I said in English, he reply in English, If Mandarin then he reply mandarin.

We dont scold him, we just ignored him.

Now he only challenge us verbally, if in future they turn physical, I dont know what to do.
Please help.

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Postby heutistmeintag » Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:10 pm

Does he show anything positive? You may want to engage him through this channel. I tend to believe that all children are born innocent and with good nature. You probably have to probe and if necessary, maybe enlist professional help.

Having said that, I kinda suspect he is seeking attention - any attention, even if it's negative attention. Once in a while, my children will go through this mood swing too. After a while, we realize that sometimes they are trying to rebel to make a statement and need our attention. For example, my daughter will misbehave to draw our attention away from her brother.

Alternatively, find someone who he is close to to speak to him. You may have better results.

Anyway, just my 2 cts worth.

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Postby tamarind » Sat Aug 02, 2008 5:22 pm

Your son is going through the "terrible 2" phase. This is the phase where kids are testing our authority. They want to test us to see how far they can go.

It is very important that you establish your authority at this stage. Be firm, and never give in. It is your way or no way. Show your boy what is the correct behaviour, and only give him what he wants if he shows the correct behaviour. If he does not behave, then remove all his privileges. For example, if he likes to go out, stop bringing him out. The most important thing is to be consistent. Even though your son is only misbehaving verbally, he is still misbehaving. Children need to learn to say the correct things.

My girl went through the terrible 2s phase when she was around 2 years old. She would scream and cry if she did not get what she wanted. We ignored her tantrums, show her what is good behaviour, and rewarded her if she was good. She was OK when she turned 3 years old.

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Postby usaik » Sun Aug 03, 2008 6:43 am

I agree with tamarind. It sure looks familiar....a typical terrible 2 symptons. My experience is...after terrible 2....they normally will follow by terrible 4...terrible 6....and I am not sure when all these will end.

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Postby FMS » Wed Aug 06, 2008 12:20 pm

usaik wrote:I agree with tamarind. It sure looks familiar....a typical terrible 2 symptons. My experience is...after terrible 2....they normally will follow by terrible 4...terrible 6....and I am not sure when all these will end.

Ya me agree. My son like a mouse when outsider ard but wif us he is terrible. Like yesterday night, I ask him to go shower after that then he watch his tv but he insist on watch tv 1st and started screaming at me. He will have this kind of rebel behavious at least once a month. V headache. Sometime he will b so gd follow whatever instruction u give him. Kids' mood swing is worse than we women. :cry:

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Postby Shera » Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:27 pm

Hi Chuanchuan,

You can try rephase all the questions to your favour, for instance:

Mum: Which shirt will you like to wear, green or blue?

This way, if your son wishes to ans either of them are ok for you. There's no need to tell your son that it is clean.

He is just starting his N1 class so there maybe some regular situations that he feels frustrated at the centre yet he does not know how to express. You can discuss this with his teacher.

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