Emotional Child = gifted

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Emotional Child = gifted

Postby moi_views » Wed Dec 16, 2009 11:36 am

I am a FTWM who joined this website recently. I stumbled across a link below which describe my boy (post by applepie). So I hope to have some feeback on what I can do to help my child.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... hida++test

My child is currently 5yrs.. He is a keen reader... loves to ask questions, good creativity.. Loves to do work and is sort-of a perfectionist.. I don't know why.. He gets very upset when he don't do well or get it right at the first attempt and is easily upset by comments made by his peers...

We are not as commited to his work like he does, especially after long hours of work.

Recently I enrolled him to Shichida, and he told me he enjoyed the classes because it's not boring.. Shichida did an IQ test and he scored above 130.. My hubby thinks the test might be too easy (since we do not know content of the IQ paper), so we are monitoring his progress.

He exhibit high-level thinking questions since 4yrs. However, he is too sensitive and careful.. He refused to go into the pool cos he might drown etc.. I don't know if he is gifted, cos there are other areas he is just like other kids, just a tad too emotional. Any suggestions??

I read a lot about logicmills.. Is it really good?

moi_views
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:40 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby tamarind » Wed Dec 16, 2009 12:42 pm

I started that thread that you posted :wink:

I think that you don't have to worry about finding out whether your boy is gifted. From what you described, I would say he is definitely gifted. You should just believe in your instinct as a mommy.

I came across this very good blog post :
http://domesticgoddess-ourworldmyworld. ... s-and.html

I believe that even if a child is gifted, or has very high learning ability, it is very important that we treat him like a "normal" child, when it comes to emotional issues.

It is very normal for young kids to be afraid of water. My average boy still does not dare to put his face totally inside the water now at 5 years old. We should not think that it has anything to do with "giftedness".

As for getting upset if he doesn't get things right the first time, or easily upset by comments, I also think that it is quite common with young kids. I think parents can do their part to help the kids overcome this. I don't make any negative comments when my girl makes mistakes, I just calmly hand her the eraser and ask her to correct her mistakes. Now she can sit for hours drawing or writing her stories, she often throw away work that she is not satisfied with, and then just start all over again. She continues until she is satisfied with her work.

No matter how gifted a child is, he must be able to accept failure and learn from his mistakes.

Many parents are very concerned about their gifted kids feeling bored in class. I think we should train gifted kids to be able to tolerate "boredom". Next time when they attend university, they are going to sit through "boring" lectures everyday, and when they come to work, there will be countless "boring" meetings.

tamarind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3113
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:37 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby jedamum » Wed Dec 16, 2009 1:34 pm

from the title "emotional child = gifted?", my ds1 is very emotional...i just think that he is petty and kiasi. i hope that he can be more gracious about defeat rather than play only to win.

paisay..i digress already.

i think that you have a very fine kid. just monitor his progress, create opportunities for him to self-learn, give him support (that it is ok not to be perfect....a fine line to thread cos it may breed complacency), and enjoy the parenting process. :)

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8514
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 20


Postby moi_views » Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:41 pm

Hi Tamarind,

Good to know that you started the previous thread.. I always thought gifted child are usually all-rounder. Mine is definitely not!! After reading your previous thread lead me to wonder if a gifted child are more emotional? Hence, the title. Hopefully, the subject will not be intepreted in any other manner. (I should have added a ??? hahaha) :wink:

We didn't really groom the child (only sent him to Shichida recently after being bugged by a friend!! :oops: ), hence, didn't even think about him being gifted in any way till recently the shichida IQ test (actually, we think maybe everyone in the class scored similar results.. we didn't asked around, so it remains a mystery :wink: ). We thought that if his IQ score is good, then, we should perhaps find more interesting subjects to suit his interest. That's why i enquire about Logicmill, which i came across at this website.

We were also shocked by him being upset at not excelling. :? We always tell him it's ok to make mistakes so long we learn from it. It's takes a while I guess.

Frankly, it didn't matter to me even if he is not gifted. I am more worried on his emotional and physical progress. The swimming incident is just one of the many examples.. He also tells me that he will be very sad when I die cos he can't see me anymore (I checked with the teachers on whether did they teach on the subject - death. They said No. We only found out at a later date that he has these notions after listening to the "little matchsticks girl" at childcare) :(

As a parent, i hope my kids are a happy bunch... Of course, I am grateful that I have a good set of problems rather than it on the other end of the spectrum. But sometimes it's tough, :(

haha... good analogy on boredom.. any advice to boredom training. :)

Hello Jedamum,

Personally, I think if the child is not a sore loser than it not too bad. Don't be too harsh on him. Graciousness can be taught. :) I totally agree on the fine line you mentioned. We have never once mentioned anything along those line with my boy.. :)

Like you mentioned, I will monitor his progress and create opportunities for him to learn. :) I do feel that my boy needs to be more garung cos he doesn't defend himself at all. The children in his class are generally mild and he still get bullied at times. Hopefully it gets better before he goes P1.

Gosh... I am so long-winded... Hopefully you guys are not bored by it.. :oops:

moi_views
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:40 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby tamarind » Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:41 pm

moi_views wrote:We thought that if his IQ score is good, then, we should perhaps find more interesting subjects to suit his interest.


Personally I feel that there is no need for any IQ test. As mommies, we know when our kids have high learning ability. These kids have superb memory, and are able to understand difficult concepts effortlessly. For example, you only need to teach them one thing, and they know other things in relation, purely by logical deductions.

If you have such a kid, instead of putting in effort to find out whether he is gifted or not, we should provide him with all the necessary skills and resources to learn. These kids are capable of learning independently. The most important thing that we can do is to teach them to read very well, then all we need to do is provide them with all the necessary resources, like dictionary, encyclopedia, wide variety of books, etc, and they can learn on their own.


moi_views wrote:Frankly, it didn't matter to me even if he is not gifted. I am more worried on his emotional and physical progress. The swimming incident is just one of the many examples.. He also tells me that he will be very sad when I die cos he can't see me anymore


Gifted kids are able to understand the meaning of death more deeply than average kids. My 5 year old boy still does not really understand that my father is no longer in this world. My 6 year old girl understands completely. When she was 3 years old, one day the lift was faulty, and she was so worried about her mommy and daddy that she could not do anything else. Now that she is 6 years old, she is very mature for her age, and I think that it is because of all the books she has been reading.

A child can be very advanced intellectually, but emotionally he is still only 4 years old.
I would suggest that you let your boy read a wide variety of good books, not just Roald Dahl or diary of a wimpy kid, but all the wonderful children's classics, for example :

Charlotte's Web and The trumpet of the Swan by E. B. White
Three Tales of My Father's Dragon by Ruth Stiles Gannett
The Boxcar Children by Gertrude Chandler Warner
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The enormous crocodile, The giraffe the pelly and me, The Minpins by Roald Dahl (also the BFG, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda)
The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank Baum
Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder (and all other books in the Little House series)
The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi, illustrated by Roberto Innocenti
Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
Jonathan Swift's "Gulliver" by Jonathan Swift, edited by Martin Jenkins, illustrated by Chris Riddell
The Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling
The Happy Prince and the Selfish Giant by Oscar Wilde
Bambi by Felix Salten

Make sure you get all the original and unabridged versions, except Gulliver (the original is very difficult to read). Reading is not only about learning vocabulary, grammar, knowledge, etc, the child can also learn a lot about life experiences especially when he reads good books, and he become more mature along the way. The books above deal with life and death, love, hardships, cheating, lies, bad behaviour, courage, crime, debt, friendship, compassion, poverty, sacrifice, selfishness, etc. My girl enjoys reading all of them :wink:

As for boredom training, it is very easy. Attending nursery/kindergarten everyday with kids of different learning abilities, is already good training. A gifted kid can finish his work in 3 mins while all the others take 30 mins to do. A good teacher should give the child freedom to whatever he likes. Then he has to think of ways to occupy himself. My girl helps her classmates, or draws anything from her imagination with intricate details.
Last edited by tamarind on Fri Dec 18, 2009 8:24 am, edited 2 times in total.

tamarind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3113
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:37 am
Total Likes: 0



Postby Andaiz » Wed Dec 16, 2009 6:43 pm

tamarind wrote:As for boredom training, it is very easy. Attending nursery/kindergarten everyday with kids of different learning abilities, is already good training. A gifted kid can finish his work in 3 mins while all the others take 30 mins to do. A good teacher should give the child freedom to whatever he likes. Then he has to think of ways to occupy himself. My girl helps her classmates, or draws anything from her imagination with intricate details.


Yes, it trains them to help others along and recognize the fact that not everyone is like them.

My DD1 still does this in school but the school system frowns on the "talking" bit so sometimes she gets it from her draconian EL teacher :roll:

Andaiz
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1673
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2009 4:58 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby tamarind » Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:19 am

Andaiz wrote:
tamarind wrote:As for boredom training, it is very easy. Attending nursery/kindergarten everyday with kids of different learning abilities, is already good training. A gifted kid can finish his work in 3 mins while all the others take 30 mins to do. A good teacher should give the child freedom to whatever he likes. Then he has to think of ways to occupy himself. My girl helps her classmates, or draws anything from her imagination with intricate details.


Yes, it trains them to help others along and recognize the fact that not everyone is like them.

My DD1 still does this in school but the school system frowns on the "talking" bit so sometimes she gets it from her draconian EL teacher :roll:



I thought teachers should be taught to be more understanding to kids of different abilities. What do they expect a child to do if she completes her work very quickly ? Sit and stare at the ceiling ?

tamarind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3113
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2008 9:37 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby mommyNg » Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:01 am

tamarind wrote:
... understand the meaning of death more deeply than average kids. My 5 year old boy still does not really understand that my father is no longer in this world. My 6 year old girl understands completely. When she was 3 years old, one day the lift was faulty, and she was so worried about her mommy and daddy that she could not do anything else. Now that she is 6 years old, she is very mature for her age


Hi tamarind,

I always admired your relentless efforts in trying to provide an excellent learning environment to your children (especially reading), despite a full-time working mum!

Anyway, on the topic of emotion, my DD1 frequently shy away from violent, traumatic, or sad movies/dramas. She cannot even tolerate hearing those scenes (even though not watching). She asked me, I think when she was about 5 years old, why do people die? She told me that she didn't want anyone to die, and I could hear her saying that in a sad voice.. :( I really don't know how to answer her. Recently, she asked me why do people dream? How do people get good/bad dreams? Why do people dream what they dream. How should I respond? Should I treat these questions seriously, e.g. go and do research with her on these questions or should I just answer in simple lay-man terms?

Yes, she is also pretty sensitive emotionally. By the way, my DD2 is pretty different, she would watch the exact same shows that my DD1 would avoid at all cost. Sometimes, she even "laughs" when people cry in the scene - I wonder whether she is kinda sadistic :shock: ha ha

mommyNg
BlackBelt
BlackBelt
 
Posts: 834
Joined: Fri Dec 05, 2008 4:16 am
Total Likes: 6


Re: Emotional Child = gifted

Postby MdmKS » Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:23 am

moi_views wrote:I am a FTWM who joined this website recently. I stumbled across a link below which describe my boy (post by applepie). So I hope to have some feeback on what I can do to help my child.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum ... hida++test

My child is currently 5yrs.. He is a keen reader... loves to ask questions, good creativity.. Loves to do work and is sort-of a perfectionist.. I don't know why.. He gets very upset when he don't do well or get it right at the first attempt and is easily upset by comments made by his peers...

We are not as commited to his work like he does, especially after long hours of work.

Recently I enrolled him to Shichida, and he told me he enjoyed the classes because it's not boring.. Shichida did an IQ test and he scored above 130.. My hubby thinks the test might be too easy (since we do not know content of the IQ paper), so we are monitoring his progress.

He exhibit high-level thinking questions since 4yrs. However, he is too sensitive and careful.. He refused to go into the pool cos he might drown etc.. I don't know if he is gifted, cos there are other areas he is just like other kids, just a tad too emotional. Any suggestions??

I read a lot about logicmills.. Is it really good?


Your child is wonderful that he wants to excel on his own, am sure he is the type who will do well in our current education system. But I think it is impossible to generalize gifted kids characters to a certain stream. Just want to share another story of another gifted kid, a frend's son who have been perceived as "unwilling to do write properly " and dislike by teachers in school but at end of P3 was identified as gifted as joined the GEP in school. Hopefully the programme could benefit and nurture him according to his needs and not to focus on scoring high mark as my friend was told.
Note the kid has not attended Shichida or any other brain training programme.

MdmKS
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 591
Joined: Mon Mar 09, 2009 4:08 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Emotional Child = gifted

Postby metz » Thu Dec 17, 2009 11:12 am

MdmKS wrote:Just want to share another story of another gifted kid, a frend's son who have been perceived as "unwilling to do write properly " and dislike by teachers in school but at end of P3 was identified as gifted as joined the GEP in school. Hopefully the programme could benefit and nurture him according to his needs and not to focus on scoring high mark as my friend was told.
Note the kid has not attended Shichida or any other brain training programme.


I know of another boy who fits your description. Doesn't hand in his work, still drawing stickman, not in the best classes and unpopular with both teachers and classmates. You can't imagine the shock they got when he was the only one from the class to get into GEP this year. Definitely no emotional problem but mild ADHD.

On the contrary, his good friend who is always scoring 90+ in tests and exams, a perfect and obedient child in everybody's eyes, very sensitive and emotional, didn't get into GEP.

So, I totally agree with you that it's impossible to generalize gifted kids characters to a certain stream.
Last edited by metz on Thu Dec 17, 2009 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
metz
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1629
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2008 2:38 pm
Total Likes: 4


Next

Return to Working With Your Child