Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

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Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

Postby SummerMomWinterGirl » Thu Jun 19, 2014 9:55 pm


I am stressed now. Not knowing what to do about it.

My DD is in K2. She is a good obedient girl and we are a very conservative and traditional family.

In this June holiday, some time after the meeting the parents session at my DD's school, my DD started confiding in her granny about a boy who kept touching her.

It all started with her one day saying something indecent at home. She said she learnt from that boy. We all thought it was not too harmful and just told her these are bad words and not to say them again. My mother in law, being more observant, decided to probe further on various occasions and sometimes asked in different or indirect manner.

Soon more and more things were told to us. Things like, the boy pulled her shorts when the teachers were not looking; when the Eng and Chn teachers were talking, the boy smell my DD's backside etc. I will not elaborate further cuz it's getting very graphic. :censored: :censored: :censored: I am very sure my daughter did not make them up, cuz we being very strict in moral teaching and discipline, do not and will never expose her to anything indecent, not even those TV dramas on mediacorp. We feel that at her age, we just want to expose her to the right things until a later age when she is mature, independent and can tell what's right what's wrong.

Hence, some of the graphic things that she described to her granny were not her imagination or invented stories.

I am calling the school and demand for a meeting with the principal. I have also told my girl that those are wrong, her body is precious and not to let anybody see nor touch it. I even told her to unfriend the boy totally, telling her that what the boy did was making me angry. She told me that she is now also very angry at the boy and will not friend him anymore.

Other than all these above, what else should I do?

I am very afraid she may get confused or wrong idea that it's ok to be touched by boys, esp when she reaches adolescent age.

Need advice. HELP.

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Re: Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

Postby ammonite » Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:16 pm

Meeting the school principal to get a clearer picture and telling your child that her body is precious and no one should touch certain areas is correct.

I think the next most important thing is to keep a calm casual demeanor before her. Just explain calmly to her as you have done, and indicate the more personal areas, eg torso. There is no need to go into graphic details with her because she is too young and may be traumatized or confused and may go into the other extreme of avoiding all touches or boys. Her reaction will be shaped by your reaction.

As for the boy, you could say probably say no one at home had given him the proper guidance but as long as she does not feel comfortable, she has the right to avoid him. In school, you can request that the two be in separate groups. I do wonder how he manages to pull down her shorts without any adult realizing.

Hopefully it is not as bad as it sounds. If it is, the boy himself may be a victim.

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Re: Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

Postby slmkhoo » Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:34 pm

The main thing is to tell your daughter that such behaviour on the boy's part is unacceptable. You also want to tell her that any person who tries to pull at her clothes or touches her body (accept for parents and caregivers doing specific things like bathing her etc) is not behaving properly.

The next thing to teach her is how to tell her teachers when she is made uncomfortable. Tell her to say 'no' loudly and move away from the boy when he does this kind of thing. This will also serve to alert the teachers at that moment.

Speaking to the principal and teachers is the right hing to do, but try to be calm and not blame them. It can be hard to pay close attention to every child, and the boy may have been very sneaky or quick. They will be much more willing to help separate them and pay closer attention to your daughter if they do not feel defensive.

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Re: Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

Postby Divamama » Fri Jun 20, 2014 3:48 pm

I'd be so upset with the school! How can they not notice these behaviors? I think pulling down some one's shorts is a big deal. I feel for you. I hope the teachers and principal have a good answer and solution. Teaching your kid about protecting her privacy is important, but she may not understand completely and she's only so young.

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Re: Indecent behaviour in a pre school.

Postby Han Seo » Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:26 am

You have a right to feel concerned and bring this matter up to the school. The teachers and you should teach your girl that no one should touch her body other than her caregivers and others with a legitimate reasons (eg doctor). She should be taught to move away from the boy if this happens again.

The teachers should watch out for your girl and teach the boy that his behaviour is unacceptable.

I don't think at this age, the boy is a pervert. He is either imitating someone, curious or being cheeky without realizing that this type of behaviour is unacceptable. The adults should teach him.

Han Seo
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