Trouble with school

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Trouble with school

Postby Autumn_Leaf » Mon Aug 04, 2014 8:35 pm

Hi,I am new to kiasuparents. My dd just entered sec 1 this year. She scored 22x plus, dd was kind of disappointed as she expected to get at least 230 plus. We sent her to the school below our block, as it was near, and can save transportation time. The intake was a few point below her score. But dd never liked the school and didn't want to go there but because it was near and the intake was not too much different from her score i negotiated with dd and put it as 3rd choice. Dd got accepted into the school.

During the first few months, i asked dd how was school and she said she did not like it, but i did not take it too seriously as i thought this was just her prejudices or she was not used to it and would go away after awhile. Dd did not like the school during the first few months but got worse later on, later on she started complaining that she does not like the school and wanted to transfer, she was clearly very unhappy. She even broke down sometimes when telling me.

Dd said most of her classmates were using headphones secretly in class and won't pay attention and she got pretty distracted by their action. There were some students that were also distracting the class by asking irreverent questions and do weird things when teacher is not looking. She said her classmate also does not bother to complete their homework and always copy her work which she does not like as it is all her effort. She also felt threaten by some of her classmate as they were very mean to her in person and in chats,and sometimes form clique and bothers her.

Dd also say her school is very boring and does not have much facilities.

She wants to transfer but her result is only average.Dd ranked 16 or 17 out of 40 in her class. Which is not very impressive.Dd wants to transfer to a school that intake is 230 plus. :?: I wonder if it is possible :pray:

Autumn_Leaf
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Re: Trouble with school

Postby ngl2010 » Mon Aug 04, 2014 9:40 pm

My view is if you don't try, you will never know. Ask your DD to work her best this semester so she can improve her chance in getting into her dream school.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby ScaredyMum » Mon Aug 04, 2014 10:40 pm

Try writing to the principal directly and state your DD's strengths e.g. In cca or any other non-academic strengths that she has. Also cite some examples of what she has done well or how she can contribute to the school. It may be worth reading up abt the school and knowing what strength of theirs to play to.

A friend of mine managed to get her son transferred to a school 6-8 points higher than his results and in her letter she cited her son's non-academic qualities such as determination, arts or music inclination, sports interests etc.

I do not know which part of it appealed to the principal but he was accepted though the school did not have extra vacancies.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Aug 05, 2014 7:03 am

If you think there may be a way to salvage her school experience in her present school, you may want to talk to her FT about what could be done to make her school experience pleasanter, or change her impression of the school. It would probably be good to talk to the FT anyway to find out if there is anything that the teachers have observed that your daughter hasn't mentioned to you.

Your daughter's dislike for the school is probably the root cause of her unhappiness. If she hasn't been willing to make friends or get involved, or she has been looking gloomy all year, then other kids would probably avoid her, making her even more unhappy. If she hasn't already realised this, you may need to advise her. Teens need to learn that happiness is very much within their own control, and blaming the environment and having a victim mentality will affect her future as an adult too. Of course, if she is really being bullied or picked on, her teachers should be alerted so they can do something.

If you feel that she needs a fresh start and that she is able to cope in a 'better' school (and I personally don't think that COPs really mean very much if the difference is under 20 pts), then you could start asking around about what they would want to see in her (results, CCA, testimonial etc) to allow a transfer. And then you have to tell her to work for it.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby Autumn_Leaf » Tue Aug 05, 2014 3:53 pm

I did spoke to her FT,her FT says that she is a pleasant student to teach and is polite and responsible.The teacher says that she does not have any problem with dd.She pays attention in class and does her work. Dd do have friends. I do agree that her dislike might be the root of her unhappiness, but i can sense that she is really unhappy this time. At the start it was just her prejudices as she would only say that she dislike the school when i ask her or saying it without any expression.But now she is seriously depressed when she tell me about this as she would break down instead of just venting. And, i could really see that she is stressed out.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby lynntan15 » Tue Aug 05, 2014 3:54 pm

I feel you should try to transfer for her. Even if it is not successful, at least you have tried for her.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:02 pm

Autumn_Leaf wrote:I did spoke to her FT,her FT says that she is a pleasant student to teach and is polite and responsible.The teacher says that she does not have any problem with dd.She pays attention in class and does her work. Dd do have friends. I do agree that her dislike might be the root of her unhappiness, but i can sense that she is really unhappy this time. At the start it was just her prejudices as she would only say that she dislike the school when i ask her or saying it without any expression.But now she is seriously depressed when she tell me about this as she would break down instead of just venting. And, i could really see that she is stressed out.

If it's so serious, then you may want to check about transferring. If she has friends, won't she be sad to leave them? And will she be fussy about which school to transfer to, and will she get upset if they turn her down? If so, would it be an even worse outcome?

It may also be a good idea to have your daughter see a counsellor as well just in case there are any other issues that you should take note of. The school may have a school counsellor she can see.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby Autumn_Leaf » Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:09 pm

She is not really that fussy, she just wants to get into a school that she prefers and has CCA that suits her interest, as her current school does not have much option.

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby 12mum » Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:12 pm

Hi,

Your gal is already disappointed with her marks and might be feeling even worse cos she is posted to a school whose entry points are lower than her scores...

I think your gal prefers to be with people who are hardworking and serious about work. It is very irritating to have disruption during lessons especially when one is eager to learn and improve.

Sec 1 is still not too late to ask for transfer. All the best. :grphug:

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Re: Trouble with school

Postby slmkhoo » Tue Aug 05, 2014 4:14 pm

Autumn_Leaf wrote:She is not really that fussy, she just wants to get into a school that she prefers and has CCA that suits her interest, as her current school does not have much option.

If you are willing to consider letting her transfer, then you should get her to start doing some research about CCAs. And you would probably need to ask those schools about their transfer requirements. I'm just concerned that if the schools your daughter likes do not accept her application, will she be even more depressed? Also, the way schools select for CCAs now, even if she gets into a school, they may not accept her into that CCA (unless you can have that confirmed up front).

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