Changes In Children

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

HELP! Burnt Out Symtoms?

Postby Bear.w.me » Mon Jan 04, 2010 5:21 pm

Hi I need some help here. My DD2 is taking PSLE this year.

:? What to do if i have a child who has already shown symtoms like:
1. do things slowly when she used to do the same things speedily
2. start to loose competitive sense; she used to want to push herself greatly to achieve better results but now take things easy
3. her leadership roles in prefect and choir had taken a toll on her somewhat
4. lost interest in subjects like science and languages; all she wants to do is just maths (which she is still good at)
5. poor time keeping as she did the science paper with 8 questions in Section B blanks in Primary 5 SA2
6. she worries she cannot do well in PSLE eventhough she scored up to P5 at 83% average of 4 subjects
7. she prefers instead to shift her attention to piano, game play and 'talk back' to the mother a lot more than she used to

:?: Are these burnt out symtoms?
:?: how to bring her back to the right track?
:?: How to motivate her?

Thank you in advance.

Bear.w.me
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Postby JonC » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:14 pm

@Bear.w.me

Symptom of adolescence?

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SYMTOMS OF ADOLESCENCE OR SYMTOMS OF BURNT OUT?

Postby Bear.w.me » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:22 pm

Thanks JonC.

It did not occur to me that the symtoms I listed were that of adolescence. Why you say so?

Maybe more advice/opinions please?

Thank you.

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Postby JonC » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:33 pm

I just added 1 more possibility on top of what you stated.

I am not female and my DD only P2, so I do not understand so much about adolescence of a girl. But I heard hormone changes can change behaviour and attitude towards whatever things they used to do.

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HELP: Adolescence, Burnt Out or anything else?

Postby Bear.w.me » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:38 pm

Thanks again JonC.

Wondering where have all the experts gone when I need them in the forum?

Please help.... :cry:

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Re: HELP: Adolescence, Burnt Out or anything else?

Postby ChiefKiasu » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:43 pm

Bear.w.me wrote:Thanks again JonC.

Wondering where have all the experts gone when I need them in the forum?

Please help.... :cry:


Thread split into a more relevant topic.

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EXPERT HELP NEEDED

Postby Bear.w.me » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:51 pm

Thanks Chief, any advice?

Anyone? Really in need of help here. Any phychologist or good counsellor?

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Re: EXPERT HELP NEEDED

Postby ChiefKiasu » Mon Jan 04, 2010 10:59 pm

Bear.w.me wrote:Thanks Chief, any advice?

Anyone? Really in need of help here. Any phychologist or good counsellor?


I'm no counsellor, but it does sound like she's either burnt out or suffering from adolescence as suggested. Like any other issue, it is paramount that you find the root rather than to try to treat the symptoms.

How was she during the holidays? Happy? Does she like to learn new things? Did her condition start after receiving her results in P5?

I think it is essential during this time to show her that you are there for her, no matter what the outcome.

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MORE ADVICE NEEDED

Postby Bear.w.me » Tue Jan 05, 2010 8:07 am

Thanks Chief. I think you have a kind heart. :salute:

Actually she started these symtoms since middle of last year after CA1.
She was just spending her time away playing piano (ok, this is not wasting time), play with her sisters and took her own sweet time to do stuff that she usually did in half the time. In the process, the mother would take issue with how she spent her time and mother-daughter spat would start. Overall she appeared happy.

Right now, I begin to 'baby seat' her in her revision especially science (which she did not have interest in reading the chapters). In the process, I share my experience with her and advise her the fun way of memorising the facts table and show her relations between topics. What I would have expected was for her to have self motivation the way she had for 4 years since P1...alas things just gone wrong at this crucial moment. :pray:

So, back to my plead again. How to find the root cause of these symtoms?Anyone has gone through similar experience similar to mine? This forum should have at least some I hope. Any parents with teenage daughters who have survived what my DD2 is experiencing now?The point about adolescence...i have my doubt because my DD1 does not show these symtoms. If indeed it is adolescence then more people can share their experience in this forum, right?

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Postby Guest » Tue Jan 05, 2010 9:15 am

Did you hear anything different from her teachers during PTM last year?

A change would have been observed by them as well and then you can perhaps backtrack to any incidents that may have affected her to change her. Sometimes friendship issues can also change a person's perspective to things. Sometimes incidents she experienced in her leadership position can also change her perspective.

Since she is in such a mood, no point going headon in the drilling sense to get her back on track for studies. Personally, I would take a day off, plan a day of fun with my kid and share with her the plans to get her excited. Then just have fun the whole day and by the end of the day, at an appropriate time, figure out what has been troubling her just by chit-chatting casually with her on her aspiration and how she plans to achieve it in the next few years. Getting her to talk about her plans will eventually give you an idea how her new thinking has been shaped and formed.
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