What do you do when you see other children misbehaving?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

What do you do when you see other children misbehaving?

Leave it to their parents who are present to manage their kids
44
77%
Tell the kids off in front of their parents
8
14%
Tell the parents to manage their kids if they don't seem to want to do so
5
9%
 
Total votes : 57

What do you do when you see other children misbehaving?

Postby ChiefKiasu » Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:34 pm

I was in Yuquan last weekend waiting for my son when this 10 year old kid started removing his shirt while waiting for his class in the lobby. The mummies generally tolerated him even as the principal came by and made him put on his shirt again. No sooner was she gone did he started not only to take off his shirt, but jokingly said he wanted to remove his pants to his friend/brother. Before I could say anything the mummies were already up in arms, berating him but the kid was plain defiant and enjoying all the attention despite the scolding from the mummies. I kept quiet, observing the situation, as it was clear to me that for whatever reasons, the kid was only trying to create a scene and was getting exactly what he set out to achieve. I did not see the point of satisfying him and chose to ignore him and his antics. But I tried to stay around to see if I can have a chat with his parents instead. Unfortunately, his parents never appeared, and he went off to his class, and I couldn't afford to wait indefinitely.

Anyway, I've seen enough ugly incidents arising from parents not being happy when other parents scold their children in front of them.

What would you have done in that situation, assuming that:
1. if the parents are not around, as in this case, or
2. if the parents were around, but were apparently not doing anything to control the kid?

Conversely, what would you do when other parents scold your own kids?
Last edited by ChiefKiasu on Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby lurline » Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:52 pm

i told my neighbours to discipline her son once and she told me off, saying that she doesn't scold her children infront of other pple and all children have their bad days.

Btw, her son greets me with a 'blady hell' every morning when they shifted in last yr., now he is much better behaved.

lurline
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Re: What do you do when you see other children misbehaving?

Postby jedamum » Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:54 pm

Generally, i will leave it to the parents to discipline the kid if the kid did not step into my boundary.

ChiefKiasu wrote:
What would you have done in that situation, assuming that:
1. if the parents are not around, as in this case, or
2. if the parents were around, but were apparently not doing anything to control the kid?

Conversely, what would you do when other parents scold your own kids?

1. i will talk to the principal and ensure that he/she make a mark in his report card and talk to the kid's parent
2. i will shake my head and then pitied the parents as they are in for a worse time in the future than we are. ours 'suffering' are short term. the consequence of the parent's inaction is long term.

as i am usually very 'on-the-ball' with discipline and my ds1 is generally very well behaved, i would prefer other parents to leave the disciplining part to me.

jedamum
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Postby mintcc » Thu Aug 14, 2008 2:58 pm

I would think it depends how serious is the misbehavior. Some situation like kids running about and having fun I will close both eyes esp if the parents are around.

Life treatening situationlike playing along the road, bullying, hurting another kid or animal or using profanities, I think I will intervene and tell the kid off.

I don't think I will tell the parents to discipline the kids unless I know the parents well. Even then, have to be diplomatic about it.

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Postby Guest » Thu Aug 14, 2008 3:47 pm

Yeah like mincy, it depends on the situation..

here are some examples:

1. child plays games with other children and cries when lose.. This, I will leave parents to speak to child especially if parents are present.

2. children running along corridor in schools and creating havoc and potential accidents...no parents around. I will standup and speak firmly to the kids, telling them this is not a playground and typically, they back off and behave.

3. children mishaving in class n I don't see it but hear from my kid...
I did nothing but my kid did sth. wrote a note to tell them nicely to behave themselves n not waste others' time, at the same time informing the teacher. ... LOL....

So in ChiefKS scenario, it seems like 2. If parents not around and situation needs to be controlled...then I will speak out to the boy...

"It's good of you to want to strip in public for a free show, but you might catch a chill, hv a fever and will be in bed for a week without any play. Or if being sick is not an issue, someone may just call the police to arrest you for the public show"....turning to other kids giving him attn, "if u participate in his act, you will also be taken as part of the team". if the grp split up n he lost his audience, he wud stop. he is 10, old enuf to understand consequences for his actions. And this is not scolding.. I don't think scolding helps, makes the situation more tense. I am ok, if another adult states consequence to my kid in such types of situations.
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Postby mumwgals » Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:34 pm

I did once, demanded 2 upper primary boys to stop playing at the flag pole. It was in the Nafa art sch compound, they were playing with the rope for tying the flag at the flag pole. One of the boy untied the rope and wind the rope around his neck and pretended to be hanged, while the other boy laughing and pulling the hands of the 'hanged' boy. And the 'hanged' boy was standing at the edge of the rised platform with the other boy standing on the ground pulling his hands. I asked the boys nicely to stop playing and told them that it is dangerous but they ignored me. I was very angry and demanded them to stop playing immediately or I will call the security. They then stared at me and walked away with their head held high........ I really cannot imagine how these boys are being brought up, they show no repect to adults. :rant:

mumwgals
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Postby BlueBells » Thu Aug 14, 2008 4:50 pm

Once, I saw 3 primary school kids, playing on the ledge of 1st storey of a block of flats. They climbed over the parapet, stood on the outer ledge, and jump down. OMG. I was so angry, I march over, give them a piece of my mind, and take down all their names (they were still in school uniforms), and told them I would call their principal about it. The boys were from 2 different primary schools, and needless to say, I called up the principal promptly to report the incident.

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Postby chuanchuan » Thu Aug 14, 2008 5:47 pm

At the library,
1. Parents not around -
there are always children running around or talking loudly, I will tell them that this is not the playround. They will usually cooperate.

2. Parents around - will still do the same.

I will not mind if other parents were to do the same if my son has misbehaved.

chuanchuan
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Postby EN » Thu Aug 14, 2008 6:59 pm

I will usually don't interfere if I saw the situation outside. But if the children are in my home visiting (relatives/friends/nieces/nephews), I will inform their parents & if there is still no action, I will inform the kids directly to behave.

There are twice my kids are being told off by strangers. I find their comments petty because:

1) We are in a long haul flight economy class. My kids age 3 & 5 felt restless. When they adjusted their sitting position, they accidentally will hit the front seat. The family infront told me to mind my kids. I say sorry & told my kids to be careful. Then came a kid screaming from the back. The family in front glared at me. That was when I told them off.

2) I was in the bus with my kids age 3.5 & 1.5 years old. With a lap top bag, two haversacks & two little kids, I can hardly balance & watch out for my kids. As soon as I saw an empty seat with a lady who sits in the middle of the chair half standing/half sitting, I told my kids to scramble in before the bus jerk. The lady told me off & say that I should mind my kids manners when my kids have actually say excuse me & she does not move. She gets a mouthful from me too for being inconsiderate.

EN
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Postby ChiefKiasu » Sat Aug 16, 2008 12:47 am

BlueBells wrote:Once, I saw 3 primary school kids, playing on the ledge of 1st storey of a block of flats. They climbed over the parapet, stood on the outer ledge, and jump down...


Jump down from the 1st floor?! Won't they break their limbs? That's like 4 or 5 meters!

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