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Why failure is good for our child?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby momkiasu » Mon Apr 11, 2016 12:05 pm

Some people only learn from failure. And your child might just be one of them. To have everything going successfully in their life, they do not understand how is it like to fail. To fail, is to learn. And being their parents, we should encourage them and help them through their failure. That's how we help them grow.

momkiasu
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Re: Taking Cues from Japan on Childhood Independence

Postby jetsetter » Fri Jun 24, 2016 10:40 am

Ace Tutors wrote:Walk anywhere in Japan or take the bus or train, and you may see children headed purposefully to specific destinations. There is no adult in charge, guiding them on their journey. These extremely young children – some as young as six years old – don’t push, run or yell boisterously. They don’t even loiter. Instead, they make their way purposefully through crowds and turn styles, across platforms and sections of big cities, and they confidently navigate public transportation routes to get to school and home again. This is a daily journey for Japanese children, much the way your child might go to the mailbox and back alone.


Yes, you're right about that...I saw many as young as 6-7yo taking subway home on their own. Thanks to the very helpful community as a whole.

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?f=47&t=28807&p=1349976&hilit=tokyo+school+subway+home#p1349976




The Culture of Independence

Japanese parents encourage self-reliance, independence, and problem-solving skills, all of which can be learned by running simple errands and taking one’s self to school. Japanese children learn early that they may call on any adult for assistance should they need help. It helps that Japan has an extraordinarily low crime rate, due in part, to group socialization in Japanese culture. Compare this practice to the Western ideal requiring that children be supervised and chaperoned until their teens or beyond, creating a culture of dependence. Most parents want to raise independent children who can think for themselves, but letting go can be difficult.



Not all western...maybe in USA...But in Germany, it isn't the case...

Image

And PM shared this:

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/travel/berlin-family-holidays.html?_r=1


Teaching Early Independence

The trust and cooperation thriving in Japanese society may not exist where you live, but you can begin teaching independence in your home by encouraging your child to begin taking on these minimal simple tasks that will increase confidence on the way to independence.

Very Young Kids

A toddler can begin to learn basic survival skills, such as feeding himself, using the toilet instead of a diaper, picking up toys and putting them away. By early childhood, your daughter can make her own bed (it won’t be perfect), assist with simple chores and select outfits to wear. She can turn off the lights when leaving a room, and she should also know her full name, address and phone number.

The Primary Grades and Beyond

As your child enters the primary grades, bed-making is a daily priority. She can learn how to fix a simple snack or meal – even if it’s a sandwich; follow basic food preparation rules, such as washing fruit or cutting it with a dull knife; and she can help to put away purchases such as groceries or toiletries. Your daughter or son can wash dishes and take care of all of his or her personal grooming needs, including bathing, brushing teeth, combing hair and selecting coordinated outfits to wear. Elementary aged children who have learned to read, write and compute numbers can take on more independent tasks, such as taking phone messages, making purchasing and calculating change, taking out the trash and folding their own clothes.


No wonder the 7-yo Yamato Tanooka can survive for 10 days in the bear-infested woods in Hokkaido, after being abandoned by his draconian parents for being disobedient. Survival instincts kicked in?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-36441875

That the boy's father made him get out of the car "to discipline him", but couldn't say so at first because he was afraid of what "people would think" has touched many a nerve.

The word he used was "sekentei" - literally, how one is seen by society. The sense of societal shame he conveyed, on top of his concern for his boy, was perhaps a touch too "Japanese" for many here.

Hardly anybody voiced support for the father, there was simply no debate about that. The parents should not have let the boy out of their sight, was the consensus.

Naoki Ogi, a TV personality and pedagogy expert, better known as "Ogi-mama", condemned the parents outright, saying this was neglect and abuse. He also noted and criticised how many parents in Japan tend to see their children as their personal possessions
.



In Summary

Teaching responsibility to your children helps them gain the kind of lifelong skills they need for success. The children who learn independence early are more sure of themselves and more confident as they grow up.


Strike a balance. You don't want your parenting to go awfully wrong! :sweat:

jetsetter
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby TopTutorSG » Sat Apr 22, 2017 10:48 pm

From a young age, I let my kids define what are their own standards of failure and success. When they succeed according to their own terms, we celebrate together as a family. When they fail, we also mourn the failures together. Failure and success are a part of life, and it helps that we are able to share the good and bad times together.

TopTutorSG
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby zac's mum » Tue Jul 25, 2017 7:59 am

Something to share. This seemed to be the most relevant thread to post it in...https://www.mother.ly/child/raising-ove ... ce=gottman

zac's mum
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby buzzkoony » Thu Jul 27, 2017 5:48 pm

very good insightful read.. thank you, zac's mum.

zac's mum wrote:Something to share. This seemed to be the most relevant thread to post it in...https://www.mother.ly/child/raising-ove ... ce=gottman

buzzkoony
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby Reflecjoy » Mon Jul 31, 2017 11:53 am

Teach your child that failure is a part of life, it’s only a temporary condition, and can lead you to success.

Reflecjoy
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby teenmom » Tue Aug 01, 2017 11:28 pm

I have one-year old so I don't have much to share about the topic from a parent's standpoint. What I do know is that my parents wanted me to take risks and be responsible for the consequences. I think they wanted me to somehow fail at something so I could learn from it.

teenmom
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Re: Why failure is good for our child?

Postby el_ninogold » Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:56 am

sacredsagesg wrote:failure is life lesson. to fail to to learn a new adventure


I heard this quote below just yesterday and found it very relevant too. :)

Forget the mistake, remember the lesson.

el_ninogold
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