Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

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Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby alng » Thu Aug 20, 2015 11:07 pm

Just attended Amy Chua's talk this evening. Key takeaways are:

1. Help your children to develop their own opinions at a young age (like 6 years old). Challenge them morally when they get older.
2. Pay attention to your child's personality.
3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.
4. Expose your children to art.
5. Do not romanticise creativity.
6. Do not raise a spoiled and entitled child. Teach humility, responsibility and gratitude.
7. Give your child more space to take risk, to explore and to fail.
8. Encourage humour and laughter.

alng
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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby ChiefKiasu » Fri Aug 21, 2015 12:00 am

alng wrote:Just attended Amy Chua's talk this evening. Key takeaways are:

1. Help your children to develop their own opinions at a young age (like 6 years old). Challenge them morally when they get older.
...


Err... that doesn't sound very much like what a Tiger Mum would champion :)

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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby jedamum » Fri Aug 21, 2015 8:32 am

alng wrote:Just attended Amy Chua's talk this evening. Key takeaways are:

1. Help your children to develop their own opinions at a young age (like 6 years old). Challenge them morally when they get older.
2. Pay attention to your child's personality.
3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.
4. Expose your children to art.
5. Do not romanticise creativity.
6. Do not raise a spoiled and entitled child. Teach humility, responsibility and gratitude.
7. Give your child more space to take risk, to explore and to fail.
8. Encourage humour and laughter.

Hi alng,
Thanks for sharing !
But what is point 5?

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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby alng » Fri Aug 21, 2015 10:54 am

ChiefKiasu wrote:
alng wrote:Just attended Amy Chua's talk this evening. Key takeaways are:

1. Help your children to develop their own opinions at a young age (like 6 years old). Challenge them morally when they get older.
...


Err... that doesn't sound very much like what a Tiger Mum would champion :)


She said that both the western and asian parenting styles have pros and cons and are opposites. She is trying to marry the two styles. So on one hand, she may get her daughters to aim for perfection in academic and music but on the other hand, she also gives them space to explore, fail and take risks. On one hand, she may not allow her daughters to talk back and be disrespectful to elders but on other hand, she believes in getting her girls to voice out their opinions.

Those 8 points are her advice to Asian parents. :-)

alng
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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby alng » Fri Aug 21, 2015 11:02 am

jedamum wrote:Hi alng,
Thanks for sharing !
But what is point 5?


Point 5 was Amy Chua's exact words but she did not really elaborate much on that point.

Romanticise means idealised or make something looks better when it is not. So I read that point as do not idealised creativity when creativity is not ideal or something to that effect.

We seem to find it hard to achieve creativity here and think that people with creativity are really good. However, westerners are much more creative than asians and creativity probably is just their way of life. So probably Amy Chua thinks that we have idealised creativity here.

alng
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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby slmkhoo » Fri Aug 21, 2015 2:34 pm

alng wrote:3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.

Unfortunately, the example of her kids is not the best example? Both kids got into Harvard! What about kids who don't? Did she give any examples of other definitions of success?

And I wonder about aiming for perfection when a child is patently unable to get anywhere near - isn't that setting a child up for failure? But I do agree with the points you listed. Thanks!

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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby sushi88 » Fri Aug 21, 2015 2:48 pm

slmkhoo wrote:
alng wrote:3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.

Unfortunately, the example of her kids is not the best example? Both kids got into Harvard! What about kids who don't? Did she give any examples of other definitions of success?

And I wonder about aiming for perfection when a child is patently unable to get anywhere near - isn't that setting a child up for failure? But I do agree with the points you listed. Thanks!


Jay Chou's mum probably a better example as JC probably regarded his mum a tiger mum.
Jay Chou failed the uni entrance exam twice so he never got into any university.
Yet through his own talent and tenacity plus his mum's support...he became successful.

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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby alng » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:47 pm

slmkhoo wrote:
alng wrote:3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.

Unfortunately, the example of her kids is not the best example? Both kids got into Harvard! What about kids who don't? Did she give any examples of other definitions of success?

And I wonder about aiming for perfection when a child is patently unable to get anywhere near - isn't that setting a child up for failure? But I do agree with the points you listed. Thanks!


Yes, she used music as an example. She said Asian parents like their kids to learn piano or violin or cello. Why only these few instruments? Why not drums or other less common musical instruments?

alng
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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby alng » Fri Aug 21, 2015 4:56 pm

sushi88 wrote:
Jay Chou's mum probably a better example as JC probably regarded his mum a tiger mum.
Jay Chou failed the uni entrance exam twice so he never got into any university.
Yet through his own talent and tenacity plus his mum's support...he became successful.


slmkhoo, this is one example of how narrow we define success. Doctors and lawyers are desired success but not singers, actors and artists. For us to consider a singer to be successful, he must be JC or one of the four heavenly kings.

alng
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Re: Key Takeaways from Amy Chua's talk on 20 August 2015

Postby ChiefKiasu » Fri Aug 21, 2015 5:06 pm

alng wrote:
slmkhoo wrote:
alng wrote:3. Broaden the definitions of success. Asian societies define success too narrowly.

Unfortunately, the example of her kids is not the best example? Both kids got into Harvard! What about kids who don't? Did she give any examples of other definitions of success?

And I wonder about aiming for perfection when a child is patently unable to get anywhere near - isn't that setting a child up for failure? But I do agree with the points you listed. Thanks!


Yes, she used music as an example. She said Asian parents like their kids to learn piano or violin or cello. Why only these few instruments? Why not drums or other less common musical instruments?


Honestly, reading this review on her book makes me wonder if she actually practices what she preaches. I have nothing against tiger mums - in fact, I am a strong believer that parents play a most important role in building a child's innate principles and character - but I find it very difficult to reconcile that points that are discussed above and my perception of Amy as the mother from the book, other than Point 6.

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