Perverts/pedophiles on the MRT/bus

[sushi88]

I prefer a strong deterrent approach on this issue by law-enforcers to stop these perverts. When these young are assaulted...they would be somewhat too traumatized to respond fast enough.

We should not trivialise the impact of molestation on the young.... we never know apart from economic reasons...perhaps young people are not tying the knot or tying late because of their experiences when young?

[ammonite]

I know a lot of people fall victim to this, how do we stand up to it? ... What would you do if you are in their shoes(being young)? And what would you do as a parent/advice as a friend after hearing this?

1. Molest from the back when in a crowd - move back - yes back! - and step very very hard on the guy's foot. A friend did that while wearing her boots and the man turned pale with pain but had to swallow his scream and quickly move away.

2. Hands moving up skirt in a crowd - grab the hand and twist the fingers backwards very hard.

3. Grabbed from the back and fondled - hit back and tell them what pathetic creatures they are.

4. Advice - You can be frightened, upset, but it should not be a life-defining experience.

[CatMoon]

Not just young girls, even young boys.

That's why I never let my younger boy go to the public toilets alone when he was young. Not that I don't trust him, it's a case of "I don't trust strangers in the toilets". Especially after hearing my former Uni mate recounting similar incidences when he was a teenager working at a fast-food restaurant.

[iceicebaby_]

Hi all, thank you for all your replies.

Imp75 , my friends daughter was going to work, thus no accompany. She also has tried to move her bag to her back so as to avoid contact but she said it was way to squeezy to bring it to the back.

rains , Good idea, i think they should take pictures of them so they would feel threatened.

gardener, are the cameras positioned in a way that we can see the guys action being done? Im just afraid the police would not take this into much consideration because these perverts can say that it was unintentional and they were not aware.

sushi88, agreed. This is sexual harrassment and shouldnt be taken lightly. Either they install CCTVs or somehow lessen the crowd during peak hours to avoid this.

jedamum, thats what i thought, a lot of people are victims but suffer in silence. I told my daughter to always put her bag (zipped) behind her back when entering a crowded train or bus. yea, better to take out name tags.

rains, thats exactly what happened to my daughter, she froze and didnt want to even confront the uncle because she was afraid of how people would look at her.

Funz, i dont think they would dare to say it. Just like what rains said, other people might think shes being overly sensitive and look at her weird.

sushi88, exactly, too traumatized they will freeze especially those who experience it for the first.

ammonite, sounds good. I think if fondled, i will call the police alr, quickly take a pic n inform police.

CatMoon, agreed thats why i said that even boys, they will target.

[rains]

iceicebaby,

I should thank you for starting this thread. It didn't occur to me to speak to my husband about what had happened to my kid but I was thinking aloud to my husband what young girls should do in similar situations and he was shocked that I had not discussed the matter with him.

From a man's perspective, he advised my kid to 'scream first, think later' if she felt touched, even if she's not sure if it was an accident. Not sure if it's true but he said bus drivers and mrt staff would have been trained to follow certain protocols when such incidents happen. According to him, they are to lock the bus or train to prevent the sex maniac from running away and drive or take them to the police station. I questioned about the inconvenience it would cause to other commuters. He said these perverts know exactly what the victims are worried about, that they would inconvenient others, that others may not believe them, that they may have mistaken an accidental touch for molestation etc and that's why they pick crowded vehicles to commit the disgusting crimes.

He said whether it's an accidental touch or molestation, it's up to the police to judge and it's important that the victims build up a case against them, so that if there are future victims who report against them, the police can have ample reasons to arrest them. But too many victims have let these perverts go bcos of various fears.

Sometimes the situation may be so crowded that you can't move an inch actually. I was once in such a situation and a perverted hand was firmly stuck on my butt but it was so crowded I couldn't even turn around. You can only move back and step on the pervert if there's some space.

[StillThinking]

iceicebaby,

I should thank you for starting this thread. It didn't occur to me to speak to my husband about what had happened to my kid but I was thinking aloud to my husband what young girls should do in similar situations and he was shocked that I had not discussed the matter with him.

From a man's perspective, he advised my kid to 'scream first, think later' if she felt touched, even if she's not sure if it was an accident. Not sure if it's true but he said bus drivers and mrt staff would have been trained to follow certain protocols when such incidents happen. According to him, they are to lock the bus or train to prevent the sex maniac from running away and drive or take them to the police station. I questioned about the inconvenience it would cause to other commuters. He said these perverts know exactly what the victims are worried about, that they would inconvenient others, that others may not believe them, that they may have mistaken an accidental touch for molestation etc and that's why they pick crowded vehicles to commit the disgusting crimes.

He said whether it's an accidental touch or molestation, it's up to the police to judge and it's important that the victims build up a case against them, so that if there are future victims who report against them, the police can have ample reasons to arrest them. But too many victims have let these perverts go bcos of various fears.

Sometimes the situation may be so crowded that you can't move an inch actually. I was once in such a situation and a perverted hand was firmly stuck on my butt but it was so crowded I couldn't even turn around. You can only move back and step on the pervert if there's some space.

well, lift up ur leg, look at the pervert's leg and step firmly onto it, shld not take up additional space. Anyways, I recall a friend telling me that when she was holding the pole or something, some guy came up to him and wanted to hold her hand on the pole, she was alert and quickly moved to another area, and she ran off the bus just as it approached( She paid of course). I am wondering if this can be considered public harassment. I mean, the hand isn't a like 'sensitive' area but ... hand is still... and no the bus wasn't pack.

[Funz]

That is why I tell DD that she is not the one doing anything wrong and instead of being afraid, she should be angry and disgusted. The one who should feel any form of shame should be the pervert, not the victim. Even if people do think that she is being sensitive so be it, the objective is to get the person to back off and stop instead of suffering in silence.

I guess it depends on the character of the child as well. I can tell DD to do all these because she is not the quiet, demure kinda gal. She can be quite loud and brash. Honestly I think she will sooner whack the pervert than shout or maybe whack and then shout.

[rains]

Anyways, I recall a friend telling me that when she was holding the pole or something, some guy came up to him and wanted to hold her hand on the pole, she was alert and quickly moved to another area, and she ran off the bus just as it approached( She paid of course). I am wondering if this can be considered public harassment. I mean, the hand isn't a like 'sensitive' area but ... hand is still... and no the bus wasn't pack.

Sometimes we really don't know what the man is thinking. I had the experience of standing in the train by a grab pole and was joined by a Caucasian man later. Suddenly, he reached out his hand and tried to touch my eye lashes saying,"There's something on your eyelash." I got a shock of my life. I quickly moved my face away from him and rubbed my eye to get rid of whatever he said was there, and moved away from him. I didn't experience any irritation in my eye so I doubted there was anything there, and I thought it strange that a stranger would try to do something only your girl friends would. But after a stop or two, I saw him chatting up a local girl, who was obviously more friendly, in the same carriage. I wouldn't call this 'molestation' but calling it 'public harassment' sounds too serious I thought.

[iceicebaby_]

iceicebaby,

I should thank you for starting this thread. It didn't occur to me to speak to my husband about what had happened to my kid but I was thinking aloud to my husband what young girls should do in similar situations and he was shocked that I had not discussed the matter with him.

From a man's perspective, he advised my kid to 'scream first, think later' if she felt touched, even if she's not sure if it was an accident. Not sure if it's true but he said bus drivers and mrt staff would have been trained to follow certain protocols when such incidents happen. According to him, they are to lock the bus or train to prevent the sex maniac from running away and drive or take them to the police station. I questioned about the inconvenience it would cause to other commuters. He said these perverts know exactly what the victims are worried about, that they would inconvenient others, that others may not believe them, that they may have mistaken an accidental touch for molestation etc and that's why they pick crowded vehicles to commit the disgusting crimes.

He said whether it's an accidental touch or molestation, it's up to the police to judge and it's important that the victims build up a case against them, so that if there are future victims who report against them, the police can have ample reasons to arrest them. But too many victims have let these perverts go bcos of various fears.

Sometimes the situation may be so crowded that you can't move an inch actually. I was once in such a situation and a perverted hand was firmly stuck on my butt but it was so crowded I couldn't even turn around. You can only move back and step on the pervert if there's some space.

rains, Not at all, its great that you have now discussed it with your hubby. The reason why i started this thread was to inform other parents and also teens to watch out for situations like this because many are unprepared for it and then become victims. And also to ask advice from those that have already experienced it or are knowledgeable on how to confront it. This way we can learn from each other and really prevent it. But the train driver will know if they scream? or must someone press the emergency button?
Just like the girls i mentioned, too packed u cant move a single inch. It is actually that bad.

[iceicebaby_]

That is why I tell DD that she is not the one doing anything wrong and instead of being afraid, she should be angry and disgusted. The one who should feel any form of shame should be the pervert, not the victim. Even if people do think that she is being sensitive so be it, the objective is to get the person to back off and stop instead of suffering in silence.

I guess it depends on the character of the child as well. I can tell DD to do all these because she is not the quiet, demure kinda gal. She can be quite loud and brash. Honestly I think she will sooner whack the pervert than shout or maybe whack and then shout.

yea true. In the end its the pervert who gets cuffed in front of public. We must stop these perverts from their methods. We shoud stand up for ourselves.