How to Get to Know More About School from my Child

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to Find Out More About School from my Child?

Postby stingray90999 » Sun Jan 31, 2010 6:22 am

My son has started Pri 1 this year. He is the extovert type which I believe has not much problem adapting at school. My problem is that i would like to know more fine details about what's happening at school, but my son just does not seem to want to share much. How do I encourage him to volunteer information as I would really want to be more involved.
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Postby hmsg » Sun Jan 31, 2010 9:19 am

:welcome: :welcome: :welcome:

nowadays, teachers often update us via emails n class blog... from there, u can pick certain events to start a discussion with him....

hmsg
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Postby autumnbronze » Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:17 am

:rahrah: :welcome: :welcome: :rahrah:

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Postby CMF » Sun Jan 31, 2010 3:00 pm

//Editor's note: Topic selected & edited for Portal publication.
:welcome:

I similarly have a DS in Pr 1 this year. Although he is already very chatty by nature, I find that by asking lots of Qs about his day in school which entails him sharing details etc, it allows all of us at home to know alot about what's happening in his class and in school.

Preferably when asking Qs, ask leading Qs - ie. not Qs that just entails a "fine" "ok" or yes /no" responses. So for instance Qs like; "what are the names of your classmates who sit beside you in class?" "what did you do during PE lessons", "what was done in art & craft class today?" "what was for recess today - what did you buy?" From the answers that he gives ask more leading Qs again - and from there you will gradually get to know the names of his friends, how classes are conducted in class, whether anything in particular happened in class etc. Thereafter, you could continue asking more leading Qs, cos you would already know some of his friends' names, what they do in classes - so more Qs can be framed aorund those details.

I find that once DS gets used to sharing details in school, cos he knows we are all interested in what he does in school, he is very keen to share everything that happens each day. Likewise, everyone else shares how their day was etc, and eventually it becomes a two-way process.

It's a gradual process but eventually the child will learn to "communicate" and share what happens during his / her day.

CMF
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Postby tutormum » Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:05 pm

My DS3 is a private person and refuses to tell me anything. If I ask him what's a particular classmate's name, he'll tell me there's no need for me to know as I don't know him. etc. :x Now, I know better and only listen to what he has to say. He'll tell if he wants to. To get information, I get to know his classmates' mothers esp. and we exchange news over the phone and then question our children in a very subtle way. Of course, one way to get to know the other parents is joining parent support groups. :wink:
Just to OT a bit, I was appalled when one of my students' mum confronted me about her son's work. He has had only 2 maths lessons with me so far and from what his mum told me, I'm sure there's more to meet the eye. According to his mum, he didn't understand and couldn't keep up with what I was teaching in class, pointing out certain questions which he couldn't answer in the given worksheet. Well, I told her that I went through every single question in the worksheet and the instruction was that he had to copy all the working and answer after my explanation. Moreover, I have checked with the class if I was being too fast and if so, I would slow down (their answered was no) and if they don't understand, I would repeat (all of them indicated that they do). From my experience, some children do not pay attention in class and don't follow instructions e.g. when I move from desk to desk, I have to question some students why they are not copying down the solution and drawing the model etc. Without a doubt, this boy was giving his mum excuses and pushing the blame on me, the teacher as he couldn't explain why his work is incomplete and doesn't know the solutions even after tuition. My point is, as parents, we are not to be quick to listen to our children and form opinions before approaching the school and teachers. As a parent myself I know how parents feel but as an educator also, I can empathize with the teachers.
:sweat:

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Postby stingray90999 » Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:55 pm

hmsg wrote::welcome: :welcome: :welcome:

nowadays, teachers often update us via emails n class blog... from there, u can pick certain events to start a discussion with him....



How I wish my son's teacher provides more updates like what you mentioned. I find that the teacher/schoool is lacking in that. May I know what school does that?

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Re: How to Find Out More About School from my Child?

Postby buds » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:07 am

stingray90999 wrote:My son has started Pri 1 this year.


I have a daughter in P1 this year too. Same-same.. :wink:

stingray90999 wrote:He is the extovert type which I believe has not much problem adapting at school.


Good for you! :celebrate:

stingray90999 wrote:My problem is that i would like to know more fine details about what's happening at school, but my son just does not seem to want to share much.


Though my daughter is quite the chatterbox, her banter can be anything
from nonsensical to funny and to serious. :roll: There will be times when
she doesn't want to share much as well... don't feel like it. And there are
times when i appear too interested, she gets put off. So, in times like that
i chill a little and back a lil' off. So, in my case the details depends on her
mood for the day ba. On a good day, she may tell too fine a detail until i
dunno when i should get her to stop! :shock: Ya know... like oversharing.
She may say, today Raymond bent down to touch his knees and we saw
his yellow underpants and laughed. Then someone in my class said hey
look spongebob squarepants and we all laughed... those kinda sillies.. :roll:
... and details i don't need. :P

stingray90999 wrote:How do I encourage him to volunteer information as I would really want to be more involved.
Image


Expanding from what CMF has already mentioned, i also ask about stuff
related to school circulars that she brings home. There will be normal
stuff and there will be event related stuff, like bookfairs, like contact
time/assembly, excursions... (etc) I read and ask her what teacher
said the circular is all about. Then, she'll say stuff like there were
performances from the relevant CCAs on stage to promote their groups'
activities, the principal made a speech, or just the normal silent reading,
and stuff like that.

Her school diary also has information like XXX couldn't finish her classwork
on time today, so i allowed her to finish them at home. :x That would
definitely warrant a bullet train of questions from me! :nunchuk: And
i would keep in touch with the teacher on and off with regards to the
stuff she says/brings home just to double check. I agree with tutormum
that sometimes cannot just take everything they say at face value... not
that they lie or fabricate information, it just could be a case of didn't
explain clearly the same information leading it to mis-information... :roll:

Don't worry your mind over this.. on and off gather the information and
other days let your son chill oso no problem. As long as he tells you got
homework to do, quite a good start if u know wat i mean... cos mine
sometimes doesn't tell or tells me at the eleventh hour. :x So i tell
her she'd have to answer for it... sorry. Hahaa! :lol:

buds
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Postby buds » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:11 am

stingray90999 wrote:
hmsg wrote::welcome: :welcome: :welcome:

nowadays, teachers often update us via emails n class blog... from there, u can pick certain events to start a discussion with him....



How I wish my son's teacher provides more updates like what you mentioned. I find that the teacher/schoool is lacking in that. May I know what school does that?


Some schools that do not have individual class blogs, have school blogs
on the school's website. You can check that out. I'm sure most schools
would at least maintain a general school blog or ensure updates are up
on their school's calendar year.

Teachers' emails are also given upfront to parents ( in my girls' school) so
that we can also communicate via email on certain issues if not via diary..
to find out more about what's new in class for the week or month. :wink:

buds
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Postby tamarind » Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:41 am

My girl also started P1 this year.

I want her to start writing compositions in Chinese, so I have been asking her to write one or two sentences in Chinese about what she has done in school. This has worked very well. She writes about her best friend, her favourite lesson, and what she bought during recess time :wink: At the same time, she practices writing in Chinese and she is able to write many commonly used Chinese words now :wink: I bought her a very good Chinese dictionary and I am teaching her how to find words that she does not know how to write.

Of course writing in English will also be great. But my girl needs more practice in Chinese now.

Her class also has a blog, but so far there is nothing much in there yet.

tamarind
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Postby Andaiz » Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:48 am

tamarind wrote:Her class also has a blog, but so far there is nothing much in there yet.


A blog at 6 plus 7 years old?! :!: wow! I better get started myself!

Thanks tamarind jie for your pointer about writing in Chinese :celebrate: !

For my otherwise confident and chatty DD1, school is often "like that", and "okay". Sometimes it takes time to tease out the details from her. I give her a half B5 size (dunno the exact dimensions but it's about the palm size for a child) notebook for her to doodle when she doesn't read. She brings this along and it's quite amazing what she scribbles/doodles in there! It's very situational and very "to the minute" as it captures what's going on in school/with her classmates!

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