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Who disciplines the children in your home?

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Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby FishFingers » Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:56 am

Let's share share and learn together.

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby Funz » Mon Jun 19, 2017 12:52 pm

90% of the time it's me. That's because DH is out of town most of the time. The 10% that DH tries to discipline them usually ends up with things blowing up in our faces. :razz:

I would say that we are lucky that kiddos are relatively manageable. DD was more challenging but now that she is in her teens, it is a lot more manageable.

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby FishFingers » Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:39 pm

My wife is the soft hearted one.Despite being a school teacher,she is quite soft towards DD1 and DD2.She only knows how to ask me to cut them some slack when I discipline DD1 and DD2.

There was once when I got fed up and shouted at her not to interfere.The girls questioned me why I shouted at Mommy.

I don't really shout all the time though....perhaps I brought home the dictatorial nature of my work from camp although I have been milder in recent years.
Last edited by FishFingers on Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby Funz » Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:08 pm

What do your girls do that require you to discipline them?

For my kids, it is usually pushing of boundaries. When that happens, they get a couple of warnings and if still recalcitrant, privileges removed with terms on how they can earn back those privileges as well as further consequences should they still not fall in line, spelt out to them.

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby FishFingers » Mon Jun 19, 2017 2:15 pm

Funz wrote:What do your girls do that require you to discipline them?

For my kids, it is usually pushing of boundaries. When that happens, they get a couple of warnings and if still recalcitrant, privileges removed with terms on how they can earn back those privileges as well as further consequences should they still not fall in line, spelt out to them.


Maybe using discipline is wrong...I also give warnings and if they still don't comply,I will take away things like outings or smartphones.

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby slmkhoo » Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:37 pm

I feel that it's important for both parents should be agreed on the basic rules and principles. Also that neither parent contradicts the other in front of the kids. Once kids know that the parents don't agree, they will play one off against the other. You should have a talk with your wife and come to some agreement.

I was the main disciplinarian because I was at home all the time, but I knew that my husband would back me all the way because we had already agreed on the basic rules. Similarly when he was the one doing the disciplining. Occasionally, I would tell my kids that I was postponing judgement in order to discuss with their father first (very rarely, in unusual circumstances).

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Re: Who disciplines the children in your home?

Postby FishFingers » Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:43 pm

slmkhoo wrote:I feel that it's important for both parents should be agreed on the basic rules and principles. Also that neither parent contradicts the other in front of the kids. Once kids know that the parents don't agree, they will play one off against the other. You should have a talk with your wife and come to some agreement.

I was the main disciplinarian because I was at home all the time, but I knew that my husband would back me all the way because we had already agreed on the basic rules. Similarly when he was the one doing the disciplining. Occasionally, I would tell my kids that I was postponing judgement in order to discuss with their father first (very rarely, in unusual circumstances).


My wife will leave me to be the judge,jury and executioner because she feels I have that kind of commanding aura that she does not have.I will be slightly harsh in my scoldings initially and when everyone has calmed down,I will summon DD1 and DD2 into the study to talk to them and explain why they shouldn't make that particular mistake.

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