Grandparents and children

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Do your children stay with their grandparents?

Yes
14
58%
No
10
42%
 
Total votes : 24

Grandparents and children

Postby alfa_juliet » Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:12 am

How do you manage when everyone lives under one roof?

Especially when one of your child happen to b their fave choice but the other is not.

alfa_juliet
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Re: Grandparents and children

Postby ChiefKiasu » Thu Aug 28, 2008 7:58 am

alfa_juliet wrote:How do you manage when everyone lives under one roof?

Especially when one of your child happen to b their fave choice but the other is not.


This is a tough one. On one hand it is lovely to have the support of grandparents to look after your children. On the other there is the fear of interference.

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Re: Grandparents and children

Postby jedamum » Thu Aug 28, 2008 10:51 am

alfa_juliet wrote:How do you manage when everyone lives under one roof?

Especially when one of your child happen to b their fave choice but the other is not.

I live with my kids' grandparents. 8)
The grandparents interact more with ds1 cos they are his daytime caregiver when I was a FTWM. They didn't not know how to interact much with ds2 (who is always on the move and very cheeky) as they are not aware of his usual habits, or take his cue cos I am caring for him fulltime. For half of the week, my ds1 insists on spending the night over with the grandparents (most probably cos they are pretty lenient of enforcing bedtime :roll:), but the suggestion of letting ds2 camp over will be met with resentment (probably cos ds2 can't handle instructions as yet). But i would not want to categorise who is the favourite one around here as i believe that while they prefer one over another for certain activities, they love them all the same. :D

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Postby alfa_juliet » Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:53 am

The show of favouritsm is obvious.

When a child started asking why, I think she is telling something that she feels.

More often than not, she gets affected and the favourite dd gets more trying.

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Postby Joyce Yin » Wed Nov 26, 2008 5:51 pm

My gal lives with grandparents. Grandma is of great help in educating and nurturing her. At the same time terrific at pampering and giving in to her too!

Being 3.5yrs old, my gal is trying her best to test everybody's limit everyday. She screams, shouts, whines, cries, shows angry face, walks away, and do anything and everything to get her way.

Grandparents being loving and doting, usually end up giving in to her requests.

It's only when her fierce mama shows up, then she behaves herself and shows that naughty grin... And whenever I ask her: Why did you bully grandma? She will grin, laugh and say Har... Ha..!

Grandma is always her saviour too! My gal always runs to grandma for "protection". And grandparents eventually reprimand parents instead.

Staying with grandparents has its pros and cons. Most importantly, grandparents and parents must be co-operative, so that children are well disciplined.

Joyce Yin
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Postby ChiefKiasu » Wed Nov 26, 2008 5:54 pm

Kids are amazing at reading adults. They know who they can bully and who controls everything.

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Postby bebe » Thu Nov 27, 2008 7:17 am

My kids are with their grandparents in the day..and they enjoyed their company cos my in laws practically allowed them to watch TV, play games as long as they do not fight among themselves or pester the old folks.
It is also hard to discipline them at my in laws' place as the kids will seek shelter from them - so I only discipline them at my own home when I brought them home at night.
Since they watched TV in the day, I do not turn on my TV at night when they comes home, unless the TV programmes are educational. Usu the gals will take the books/magazines/comics/activities book from their room and keep themselves occupied until sleeping time - so at least they have some reading time (1hr) a day.
And if I have any disciplinary issue with my in laws, I dun discuss/confront them with my in laws, esp when the kids are there. I get hubby to talk to his parents directly.

bebe
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Postby winth » Thu Nov 27, 2008 9:55 am

We live alone, but my mother will be the day caregiver by coming to our house every morning and return only in the evening. That's her full-time job as well. :D

I am starting to work at home more and more, as my job allows me to, so long as I bring the sales back.

I'm so glad now that DS2 starts full-day playschool so that the house is less chaotic in the day.

It's a miracle how they can be so 'naughty' when their grandmother takes care of them and so 'well-behaved' when I come out occassionally to look after them. They do not seem to take instructions from grandma, as they know they will get away with it, somemore with snacks/sweets as rewards for bad behaviour. :x Somemore, Grandpa will even come with more goody food for them and helps them to keep all the toys littered ALL OVER the house. :roll:

The only good thing is that with the 'disciplinary-mistress' now at home, DS1 knows he has to finish all his homework assignments without his grandmother nagging at him.

DS1 doesn't watch TV till after dinnertime for a brief 30 mins (only pre-approved Disney/Jap cartoons or Bob the Builder VCDs, strictly no KidsCentral) while I complete DS2's bedtime routine. Then it's back to more work assignments with DS1 and we end the day with more fun mazes/craft work or memory/word games.

Having a grandmother to help out sure beats having a maid - which was a nightmare for me for 2 months. My mum cooks us good, nutritious food and will complain about their bad behaviour while I do the disciplinary. Daddy comes home happy with already-well-settled kids and nice dinner.

Little conflict with my parents since we don't stay together, so they will go along with my house rules.

winth
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