How do you tell what action is considered being bullied?

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How do you tell what action is considered being bullied?

Postby Tazyspin » Sat Feb 27, 2010 12:16 pm

My gal is in P2 this year. She's from a mixed school. When she was in P1, she only had 1 friend. She claimed that becoz her Math is no good and therefore nobody else wants to befriend her. I didn't asked further then.

Currently in P2, most of her classmates are the same from last year. However, when I last spoke with her form teacher 2 weeks back, it seems she was getting along fine with many friends as most of them wanted to write about her for their project theme - My Best Friend.

Last week, she told me a classmate shouted into her ears becoz she din want her to play with them. She actually drew the picture out. Yesterday, she told me this group of gals (incl the one shouted at her) not only refused to let her join their "team", they even instigated her best friend not to play with her. This team headed by a gal had apparently shouted & pushed her away couple of times.

I am not sure if this is consider "mild" bullying. I've also asked my gal if she had done something to upset some of these gals and she said NO.

Altho, I have plan to speak with the form teacher, but I need help as to how can I teach her to protect herself from these gals. It's disturbing for me not knowing what is happening in school and we also shldn't judge the other gals w/o finding out why did they do those actions.

Anyone care to share?

Tazyspin
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Postby smurf » Sat Feb 27, 2010 5:42 pm

u mmean the bully gather the group and instigate them not to play with ur gal?
that is considered bullying. I think she (the gal who shouted at her) is jealous that she has so many frens. :P

smurf
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Postby Tazyspin » Mon Mar 01, 2010 10:04 am

I am not sure if it was a case of deliberating the rest of the gals or these gals were already together since Pri 1. But according to my gal, they pulled her best friend over to join them. In this case, I will view it as deliberately instigating the best friend.

According to her, she had also informed the teacher abt the gal who shouted into her ears.

Anyhow, my husband has written a note to the form teacher as my gal is very depressed . We will monitor this daily. We also want to give the gals benefit of the doubt becoz we are not there to see what is the actual events daily. Hopefully, the teacher can shed some light to us. Or else fail, we will request to see the parents of the gals.

Tazyspin
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Postby daisyt » Tue Mar 02, 2010 10:00 am

Hi Tazyspin, for shouting to the ears, I suggest you inform the form teacher, let the teacher talk to that girl first.

From my point of view, girls tend to have more of friends and best friends issue. This can go up to upper primary and what we parents can do is to consol our children, talk to them, explain to them, do more activities with them etc ... Girls tend to be more complicated :D

Encourage her to mix with different group of classmates, make friends from different classes, CCA or outside activities. Widen up her friends circle can really help. If she can broaden up her thinking, it would definately beneifit her when she gets to upper primary and secondary.

Hope the above helps. :D

daisyt
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Postby westmom » Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:56 pm

Tazyspin..I'm afraid there's more to come. It gets worse as they move up the levels. Girls tend to be more sensitive and emotional and they sometimes do not even know that their actions are "mean", easily influenced by others. As Daisyt said, teach your child to widen her circle of friends and the skills to cope with such incidences. One way is to teach her to "act cool" as if she is not bothered by being excluded in play or "don't friend" threats. Bullies like to "hurt" so if they see no reaction from you, it will not be fun anymore so they will eventually move away. Tell your child that true friends will come back and it is okay not to have a best friend. Encourage her to have many good friends instead cos "best friend" will bring problems like jealousy and possesiveness. Another set of headache!

westmom
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Postby auntieM » Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:36 am

What do you call it when one boy constantly 'glue on' and shadow another in the same class? I don't think it is bullying, just that the gluey boy is rather unpopular in class and sticks on to the 'victim'.. ...
Poor 'victim' have to bear with his weird and aggressive behaviour and others are staying away from him as well.
The latest I heard from 'victim''s mum is that the gluey boy's mum found out where they are doing their enrichment classes and have sighed up for both days liao :faint:

Any rescue thoughts to share :wink:

auntieM
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