When your child wants this and that...

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

When your child wants this and that...

Postby fo12eal » Sun Aug 31, 2008 10:46 pm

I realised children these days no longer want lollipop but ipod! What if your child want ipod or some other expensive hi tech gadget or game box/station, would you buy for them?

For those who cannot afford, how would you tell your child???

A friend of mine, simply tell her son that she has no money and will buy for him when she has the money. Luckily, her son is understanding.

fo12eal
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Postby Guest » Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:13 pm

if the gadget is not age appropriate, will explain the reason and typically will listen to reason.

if it is age appropriate, will have to earn it from us if it is not a necessity but a want.
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Postby tamarind » Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:58 am

I think that parents should make their child work for what they want.

Since my kids were 3 years old, they can only watch their favourite DVD, or eat their favourite sweet/chocolate, only if they have studied for about 15 minutes every day. Studying includes learning phonics and reading a page. I tell my son that if he finishes reading Ladybird keyword series level 5, I will buy him his favourite toy.

When I was young, my mother will buy me a char siew bao, if I accumulated 10 stars. I get 1 star for full marks in a spelling test. Back then eating char siew bao was a luxury for me :D

When I was a teenager, I really really wanted a cassette player/recorder, which cost about $100. My mother gave me $1.50 of allowance a day, so I saved $1.00 a day. After 100 days, I was able to buy that player/recorder.

You can tell your friend, either teach the child to save part of his pocket money for it, or tell him that he can buy it when he grows up and starts work.

Nowadays, too many parents are giving unconditionally to their kids. I know it is out of love, but the kids will think that they can ask the parents for anything.

tamarind
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Postby jedamum » Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:44 am

For us, if the cost is not too hefty and if my 6 yr old really likes it, we'll get for him as he seldom ask to buy toys and if he does, it means that he really likes it. My nephew has a gameboy and my boy yearn for it but did not tell me outright that he wants it, although i do get subtle hints. I told him that if he really wants it, he should approach his dad (the stricter one, the fearful one... :lol: ) and ask for it cos if he asks he'll get 50% success rate compared to 0% success rate if he keep quiet. Its been months and he has yet to approach the dad and i guess he is weighing the pros and cons as to whether he want to risk the lengthy lecture to get the gameboy that he really wanted. 8)

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Postby sleepy » Mon Sep 01, 2008 11:43 am

I usually buy things for my kids without them asking. Then reinforce the idea that they never request explicitly but I find those items useful eg. watches, books, IQ board games

But if they cry & whine over an item, even if it only costs 50cts, I will not buy for them. I do not want them to get the wrong idea that they can threaten us this way by behaving inappropriately

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Postby EN » Mon Sep 01, 2008 12:38 pm

I usually buy my kids toys without them asking me. Only during birthday, will they then get what they want. I usually buy them things as I feel that they deserve the toys after their hard work. My son usually will do his homework without nagging, read his book & clean up his toys automatically. As for my girl, who is slower & procastinate a lot, I wil buy her the toy only if she shows improvement in her behaviour (so far she never ask except for her birthday).

But my kids do have a quirk in asking for overseas trip every year. That is when I told them, some places that they request are simply out of my budget.

EN
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Postby wwcookie » Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:59 pm

I will usually buy the toys myself as my son seldom asks for them, even if he likes them - he'll just play with the toy in the store then put it back on the shelf without asking me to buy. I have told him it's ok to want to buy a toy once in a while. Now, we are saving up to buy a WII console - he will save part of his pocket money everyday and pay for half the price with the other half paid by me :wink:

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Postby ZacK » Fri Sep 12, 2008 4:47 pm

Today is my son's birthday and he'll be receiving $30 from me to buy anything he wants with the money.

I've explained to him that he can put the money in the piggy bank at home and accumulate lots of $30 dollars (to be given only at other special occasions) in the event he wants to buy something which is of a higher value.

I think so far he has no problems with this arrangement as I have tried this on him when he wanted to get some stuff from the supermarket and I only gave him a limit of $3 then. :)

ZacK
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Postby ZacK » Tue Dec 09, 2008 1:43 pm

Just to share an incident that happened last night. I have two action figurines of Spiderman and Ironman who have their place on my desk at work.

Brought them home after I changed job 2 months back and let my son toy with them before I decide if I wanted them at my new workplace. This was my conversation with son:
me: papa is going to bring spiderman to office tomorrow.
son: but i like spiderman...
me : but spiderman and ironman belongs to papa and I'm letting you play with ironman still...
son : but i like both.... (giving me the puppy eyed look)

It went on a little longer where he insisted that he wanted to play with both of my figurines... In exasperation, I gave up and told him that he was being very selfish and walked away from the living room and went to our study to surf the web.

A little while later... He creeped up outside the study and pushed his magnetic board into the room.. On it he wrote "I love papa" and drew lots of hearts around it and right at the bottom of the board he drew a sad face with tears trickling down. Sigh... I stretched open my arms and he immediately ran into my arms and almost immediately he started sobbing and started saying I love you papa. My heart melted instantly at that moment. I told him at he was being silly, I was not angry with him and that he did not have to feel bad.

Well guess what ... He'll be getting to keep my two figurines with him at home indefinitely... But at least I know that I'm willingly letting him keep them :D

ZacK
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Postby Luanee » Tue Dec 09, 2008 4:22 pm

Ahh Zack, what a touching scene.....

My daughter wanted a Baby Alive toy (cost $90) so we told her to wait till her birthday, hoping she would have changed her mind by then. Unfortunately she didnt and now the toy is sitting at the side gathering dust.

Recently my mil asked us to get a $300 Nintendo for my daughter becoz she got it for her other grandkids and wanted to do so for all the rest as well. I wanted to refuse initially coz I do not want her to get used to getting such expensive toys but then I realised she be really left out if all her other cousins have it too. Talked to my colleagues about it and realised all of their kids have Nintendo too! Fainted.........

Luanee
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