Victim Syndrome?

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Victim Syndrome?

Postby Blobbi » Sat Mar 13, 2010 4:10 pm

A bullying case happened last week in my son's school.

My son has told me repeatedly of this boy getting bullied by another boy in class. The incidents have been small, so I haven't raised the alarm. Last week though, was different. This happened in class before school started - the short story is, the bully beat up the kid more severely this time, kicked the boy out of class, and threatened that if he (my son) told, he'd beat him up.

So I write in to the teacher and she investigates. Surprise! The poor victim denied anything ever happened! Another boy who was involved admitted to the incident, but the poor victim just looked very wide-eyed and insistent that no-one beat him up!

The teacher promises that she will monitor this, but, gosh! She says that perhaps, the kid forgot (it happened two days prior). Is it possible to forget? But apparently, the bullying by the same guy occurs almost daily. Is this a "victim syndrome", where the victim somehow feels it's his fault? I'm a bit hard pressed about what to do when I hear about cases like these going forward.

Blobbi
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Postby Guest » Sat Mar 13, 2010 10:03 pm

Blobbi, I have a similar experience where my child was verbally threatened so I have a case to raise to the teacher about the bully kid who has been terrorising other kids. It seems that this bully kid has been terrorising since last year and gets even more courageous when no one speaks up. Last year my child was not involved, she was only being picked when that bully ran out of targets this year I supposed. :roll: But it was a bad mistake to pick her....

From my experience, I can only say that when the tide goes down, the stone will emerge.....even if the victimised kid is not speaking up now, it will not make the bully a lesser bully so he will be caught in action one day like our case. As for the victimised kid, he needs to be counselled or at least his parents need to check that he would not grow up with a strange complex. I have spoken to some of the victimised kids' parents to ensure that their children have not been unduly affected by the incidents that have happened. I feel school should take a serious view to such cases and punish the bullies accordingly otherwise they go on to be bolder and do worser things that is criminal in nature like our case. School should also teach the less outspoken kids to learn how to fend for themselves by speaking facts accurately......the show and tell could be one such forum.
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Postby Blobbi » Sun Mar 14, 2010 6:14 am

Hi ks2me,

Tks for your views. To be honest, I'm not so concerned for my son because, cross my fingers, he's been able to take care of himself so far. Maybe the feeling for a boy in a boy's school is, got to learn to swim with everyone including the sharks.

This poor boy though ... It just sounds so wrong! Yes, you're right. This bully will continue till he's caught. Reading what Insider said in the other thread, he's just a child. He definitely needs to be caught so he can learn his lesson. Then hopefully, he won't inflict it on others.

:(

Blobbi
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Postby Guest » Sat Mar 20, 2010 11:51 am

Don't worry Blobbi, our bully has been caught red-handed, I believe if they do it often enough, they cannot run away.

Now it is a matter of how the school and parents deal with such bullies. If the school or parents choose to do nothing, then they are just breeding the behaviour. Our case was just reprimanded by FT and parents informed. However, parents do not believe their child could do that so??? As far as FT is concerned, it has been noted and child is being monitored.
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Postby tankee » Sat Mar 20, 2010 12:40 pm

some victims are afraid to testify against the culprits for fear of revenge.

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