Why do children steal & how to overcome it?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

Why do children steal & how to overcome it?

Postby Jeremy » Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:05 pm

Today i received a call from my 9 yrs old son's sch imforming us that he stole some pencil from the school bookshop.

I was shock & taken back by hearing such incident.

We have been working closly with him on behaviours and constanly reminding him on the do and dont's. At his age, i'm sure we have given him all the usual staffs that kids will wish for. He is a responsible child & behave well at home except laziness & not motivated in his sch work.

We question him why he need to steal when he already have lots of stationary? Why didnt he ask us? How come he refuse to use his allowance to buy it? He cant explain on his act & i'm equally shock to know that this was not his 1st time stealing in the bookshop.

Any suggestion on dealing with such behaviour which you can share? I've spoken to him in length and i'm not sure how to ensure he will not repeat such act again.

Does boys behave such manner as they grew up in different stages??

Sigh totally stress out :cry: :cry:

Jeremy
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Re: Why do children steal & how to overcome it?

Postby hostet » Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:32 pm

Jeremy wrote:Today i received a call from my 9 yrs old son's sch imforming us that he stole some pencil from the school bookshop.

I was shock & taken back by hearing such incident.

We have been working closly with him on behaviours and constanly reminding him on the do and dont's. At his age, i'm sure we have given him all the usual staffs that kids will wish for. He is a responsible child & behave well at home except laziness & not motivated in his sch work.

We question him why he need to steal when he already have lots of stationary? Why didnt he ask us? How come he refuse to use his allowance to buy it? He cant explain on his act & i'm equally shock to know that this was not his 1st time stealing in the bookshop.

Any suggestion on dealing with such behaviour which you can share? I've spoken to him in length and i'm not sure how to ensure he will not repeat such act again.

Does boys behave such manner as they grew up in different stages??

Sigh totally stress out :cry: :cry:


Your son needed some counseling. He could be suffering from stress and depression in which he cannot control what he is doing.

hostet
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Postby tankee » Tue Mar 23, 2010 7:43 pm

or to get attention?

or because of peer pressure?

talk to him calmly.

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Re: Why do children steal & how to overcome it?

Postby peterch » Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:19 pm

Jeremy wrote:Today i received a call from my 9 yrs old son's sch imforming us that he stole some pencil from the school bookshop.

I was shock & taken back by hearing such incident.

We have been working closly with him on behaviours and constanly reminding him on the do and dont's. At his age, i'm sure we have given him all the usual staffs that kids will wish for. He is a responsible child & behave well at home except laziness & not motivated in his sch work.

We question him why he need to steal when he already have lots of stationary? Why didnt he ask us? How come he refuse to use his allowance to buy it? He cant explain on his act & i'm equally shock to know that this was not his 1st time stealing in the bookshop.

Any suggestion on dealing with such behaviour which you can share? I've spoken to him in length and i'm not sure how to ensure he will not repeat such act again.

Does boys behave such manner as they grew up in different stages??

Sigh totally stress out :cry: :cry:


I've been counseling a few kids in my church with similar case. Most of them 'neglected' is such a way at home. So what they did are just asking attention. After we did a few session with the whole family :D , the kids would be just fine and doing well

peterch
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Postby tutormum » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:03 pm

Could he be suffering from some disorder which you are not aware of? One example is bipolar disorder and the other is Kleptomania. I'm not trying to scare you but hope you will be open to all possibilities so that your son can be helped. As you have said that this is not his first time, it could also be that as he has got off scot free before and the thrill of doing it again is there. In the end, it may be that he is just being playful and did it for the fun or as tankee has mentioned - for attention or peer pressure. Stay calm and have a good talk with him. If he doesn't open up (and from my experience, there are certain things that most kids would not tell their parents) you may get someone else whom your son is comfortable with to talk to him. I have many students confiding in me and sworn me to secrecy. "cross my heart"

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Postby Jeremy » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:09 pm

Thanks for all the input

Some background on how we grew up together with my little ones. Beside our 5 days 9-5 job, the rest of the time is solely for him. I;m the 1 always doing the teaching guiding and working on his homework & most of all providing him surprises base on his improvments & behaviour.

My wife will look after on domestic issues & taking care of his meals etc

We had a family talk earlier on, we asked him is he a happy child. The answer is no. he claims that he is always lonely in school no one eats with him during breaks. Other than that he is ok.

I told him the boys are doing the right thing to avoid him mainly because he did fight once, shouting at friends so parents will always advice their child not to learn all the bad things from him. The best way is to avoid him at all times.

We suggested to use his action to win his friends heart by talking to them, giving a helping hand etc

I'm not sure how this will turn out to be but trust me he has 100% attention from us and was recently promoted to be leader in the class as well.

Its just too shocking for us to accept the fact that he stole from the store not once but twice.

I really appreciate your kind suggestion and sharing some of your experiences.

Cheers

Jeremy
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Postby ChiefKiasu » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:49 pm

Jeremy wrote:... We had a family talk earlier on, we asked him is he a happy child. The answer is no. he claims that he is always lonely in school no one eats with him during breaks. Other than that he is ok...


Jeremy, the fact that you were able to sit down as a family and talk to work things out already speaks volumes about the closeness of your family. You are doing fine as a daddy, and I'm sure your son appreciates these talks. Continue to do so regularly and I'm sure he will respect you very much as his father. That is fundamental to him taking your advice.

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Postby Jeremy » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:51 pm

tutormum wrote:Could he be suffering from some disorder which you are not aware of? One example is bipolar disorder and the other is Kleptomania. I'm not trying to scare you but hope you will be open to all possibilities so that your son can be helped. As you have said that this is not his first time, it could also be that as he has got off scot free before and the thrill of doing it again is there. In the end, it may be that he is just being playful and did it for the fun or as tankee has mentioned - for attention or peer pressure. Stay calm and have a good talk with him. If he doesn't open up (and from my experience, there are certain things that most kids would not tell their parents) you may get someone else whom your son is comfortable with to talk to him. I have many students confiding in me and sworn me to secrecy. "cross my heart"


I'll send him to a child counselor & probably look into some health ministry that provides such services as well. Both wife and me are going all out to explore what is the root of the problems and how can we fix it in the shortest time.

It hurts to see him facing all these but i just hope he is strong enough to face his teachers and pals. FYI the bookshop has ban him from visiting their shop & i'm not sure what kind of impact he will face. Childrens at his age loves to visit bookshop during breaktime.

Jeremy
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Postby Jeremy » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:54 pm

ChiefKiasu wrote:
Jeremy wrote:... We had a family talk earlier on, we asked him is he a happy child. The answer is no. he claims that he is always lonely in school no one eats with him during breaks. Other than that he is ok...


Jeremy, the fact that you were able to sit down as a family and talk to work things out already speaks volumes about the closeness of your family. You are doing fine as a daddy, and I'm sure your son appreciates these talks. Continue to do so regularly and I'm sure he will respect you very much as his father. That is fundamental to him taking your advice.

Thanks for your advice & motivation Chief, i really hope i can find ways to turn things round and share with parents who face the same issues as us too.

Jeremy
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Postby girlmum » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:54 pm

Hi Jeremy,

Don't be despair. Can fully understand the stress that u & ur family r going thru right now. Give ur child more time, things will work out fine eventually since u know the root of the problem. U may want to talk to his form teacher on his unhappiness at school.

Take care. :D

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