How to stop my gal from crying when she attends pre-school?

Parental influence on children in the first 12 years of their lives have a permanent effect. Unfortunately, children come with no user manual. Each child is different from the other. Discuss how to handle emotional and educational needs of your child here.

How to stop my gal from crying when she attends pre-school?

Postby Pgss_72 » Tue Apr 06, 2010 10:24 am

My girl who is turning 4 this year and attending pre-school, still crys when I say good bye to her. At first I was worried that she might have got bullied in school that maked her cry.

However, after observing her and checking with the principal, teachers and herself, conclusion is she is enjoying all the activities in school except for the morning cry :cry:

In fact, in the evening after work when I returned home, she is always happily jumping and sharing with me her school happenings!

Can someone please advise me how to make my gal stop her morning nonsense as now she is already in N2 and has been crying off an on (though most of the time is "on") since N1. :stupid:

Its very embrassing to bring her to school when other parents kept staring at you...

Pgss_72
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Postby BlurBee » Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:01 am

My DS2 is 2yo and is started to go for playground in CCC (3rd week now).
He also cries before going to school & saying he doesn't want to go.
Still trying very hard to 'force' him to go.
Maybe u can go to the childcare thread to have more info.

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Postby schellen » Tue Apr 06, 2010 11:05 am

When you drop her off, say goodbye properly and tell her when you'll be back to pick her up. Be calm and treat this as an everyday occurrence (which it is!). If you are worried or anxious, especially since you care about what other parents think, your girl will pick up those vibes from you, and this makes her nervous. Be nonchalant but still your usual caring self.

Of course, this will not produce miracles within a day or even a week since you say that it has been going on for so long. "Bad habits" are hard to break but better now than never. Be determined to see this through. It should be easier since you have proof that your girl actually does enjoy herself after you leave.

schellen
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Re: How to stop my gal from crying when she attends pre-scho

Postby Luvkid » Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:46 pm

Pgss_72 wrote:My girl who is turning 4 this year and attending pre-school, still crys when I say good bye to her. At first I was worried that she might have got bullied in school that maked her cry................................Its very embrassing to bring her to school when other parents kept staring at you...


:sweat: this remind me of DS2 when he initially started Child care centre when he was 2yo.....Of cos, he has stopped "doing" that now. 8)

Do as what schellen mentioned, give her a PROPER goodbye, dun be bother by other parents' stare. And u can even "brain wash" her every night before she goes to bed. Tell her nicely what is she supposed to do the next morning and you will pick her up at what time. And promise her with a small treat/reward (sweet or trip to playground) when you pick her up, if she does not cry when u drop her at school....

Have a try! Dun get despair!! :celebrate:

Blurbee, try on these too... :celebrate:
Last edited by Luvkid on Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby auntieM » Tue Apr 06, 2010 1:48 pm

Hi,
When my DS started preschool, I showed him school kids in uniform at busstops, ouside other school compounds etc and explained to him all kids have to attend 'school'.. ..with or without the crying. He somehow understood what I meant and stopped crying liao :wink:

juz my 2 cents

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Postby hquek » Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:13 pm

DS1 cried for 6 months when he attend playgroup. the day he stopped crying, most of the caregivers come and tell me (I was there on that fateful day) "wah, he not crying". I super paiseh.

DS2 cried for 3 months.

All same case, they have fun and enjoy themselves in class; but come morning, they will cry and wail. DS2 didn't even want to look at the uniform and resisted wearing school uniform in the mornings.

Don't worry lah, in time to come, kids will stop crying. Yes, Schellen's idea is good, a proper goodbye and an assurance that there is someone WAITING to pick her up (it could be a bit trauma if the child has to wait to be picked up).

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Re: How to stop my gal from crying when she attends pre-scho

Postby kaitlynangelica » Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:15 pm

My now p1 daughter, was like that until k2. You are right about being stressed by all the onlookers. And I even had some parents ask me:" Aiyo still like that ah..............." Worse because she is an only child, some parents like to say:"because you only have one!'.

What I think I did was

1) Drop her in and walk -off without looking. I didn't even give her a chance to start.

2) Have a talk with her at night. Ask her if there was something troubling her at school and she said that she hated her chinese teacher.

3) Told her frankly that it made me very sad to see her cry and please stop it.

Well, it stopped after 2 months.

Its very embrassing to bring her to school when other parents kept staring at you...[/quote]

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Postby BeautifulLife » Tue Apr 06, 2010 2:47 pm

Hi Pgss_72,

My eldest ds was also like yours until he was in mid-K1. He was happy and participative in school. However, cried bitterly when bidding bye bye to me. He is an expressive kid and was able to tell me he felt his heart aching when he had to say goodbye to me. He said he understand that he has to go school but he can't control his heartache. On further probing, he said he would always worry about whether I will be alright when he was in school. He'd asked me to drive carefully, dial my hp for help if I get trapped in the lift......

He was experiencing separation anxiety. In the end, we agreed that we would bid bye bye and hug each other 3 times, then he would have to turn and go into class. I was strict about this agreement and would simply walked off after the 3rd hug. Ds would sob, but will go into class, trying to compose himself.

What I strongly feel is that there is no need to feel embarrassed in this type of situation. I do not care what other mummies are thinking or what remarks they made. I cared more about my ds's feelings. Aren't they quite poor thing enough that they are experiencing separation anxiety?

The good news is, once old enough, they will certainly outgrow this phase. My ds did, when he was in mid-K1.cheers.

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Postby Trina » Tue Apr 06, 2010 3:09 pm

I had the same prob when my DD was younger. She cried for 2 months in N1, most of N2 and initial weeks in K1. It was really embarrassing for me in the morning when the teacher had to wrench her away from me and she was crying pitifully. Fortunately that all stopped suddenly when she was in K1 and we have absolutely no sucj problem since. She settled into P1 smoothly and is a happy girl at school.

I feel that DD was feeling insecure in a different environment and needed more time than other kids to settle down.In the end, there was nothing that I could do to ease the transition. But DH felt that DD was aware of my own anxiety of her going to school cos my mum had no such problem on days that she brought her to school. It's probably just reluctance to part with mum.......one teacher did commented that DD behaved like that cos of our close relationship :love:

Just give your child more time and the problem will eventually go away

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Postby Pgss_72 » Tue Apr 06, 2010 4:02 pm

Hi,

Ai yoh! I really hope so that she will stop crying, she had initially stopped for period of time and I thought she was already well adjusted until she started her nonsense again.

She can be happily getting ready for school then when she reaches her class room, she starts again..

I do give her a proper good bye by kissing and hi-five..but she is just so emotional and she jolly well knows my mom (her grandmother) will for sure pick her up in the evening..

Haiz..guess greater patience is the key word!




Hi Pgss_72,

My eldest ds was also like yours until he was in mid-K1. He was happy and participative in school. However, cried bitterly when bidding bye bye to me. He is an expressive kid and was able to tell me he felt his heart aching when he had to say goodbye to me. He said he understand that he has to go school but he can't control his heartache. On further probing, he said he would always worry about whether I will be alright when he was in school. He'd asked me to drive carefully, dial my hp for help if I get trapped in the lift......

He was experiencing separation anxiety. In the end, we agreed that we would bid bye bye and hug each other 3 times, then he would have to turn and go into class. I was strict about this agreement and would simply walked off after the 3rd hug. Ds would sob, but will go into class, trying to compose himself.

What I strongly feel is that there is no need to feel embarrassed in this type of situation. I do not care what other mummies are thinking or what remarks they made. I cared more about my ds's feelings. Aren't they quite poor thing enough that they are experiencing separation anxiety?

The good news is, once old enough, they will certainly outgrow this phase. My ds did, when he was in mid-K1.cheers.[/quote]

Pgss_72
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