A boy who does not treat his work seriously.

Getting your child into that dream Primary school is just the start of a 6 year journey. Discuss issues you face with supporting your child's studies in Primary schools.
Forum rules Gentle reminder before posting questions in the Academic Support Forums: Please ensure you post your question in the correct thread. Try not to start new threads.

Postby mintcc » Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:06 pm

angela wrote:This boy is not able so rebellion this year. He had done many mistakes but never change. So the mother is giving up on him and does not know how to handle him.


It sounds like both the boy and mummy were giving up because of the history of negativity between mummy and boy. Could it be that the boy few very bad about himself-give up /deliberately don't try/make mistakes to get attention/spite the mother for "not loving him" or scolding him?

Might want to try our some positive discipline techniques instead. Especially now he primary 5 already and sounds like other forms of punishment in the past don't seems to work for him. Besides Adam Khoo I think Mindchamps also have something similar might want to check that out too.

mintcc
BlackBelt
BlackBelt
 
Posts: 880
Joined: Tue Sep 11, 2007 2:05 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby angela » Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:34 am

mincy wrote:
angela wrote:This boy is not able so rebellion this year. He had done many mistakes but never change. So the mother is giving up on him and does not know how to handle him.


It sounds like both the boy and mummy were giving up because of the history of negativity between mummy and boy. Could it be that the boy few very bad about himself-give up /deliberately don't try/make mistakes to get attention/spite the mother for "not loving him" or scolding him?

Might want to try our some positive discipline techniques instead. Especially now he primary 5 already and sounds like other forms of punishment in the past don't seems to work for him. Besides Adam Khoo I think Mindchamps also have something similar might want to check that out too.


Ever since his brother and sister born, my nephew always feels that his parents always pick on him on everything and scold him for everything that he had done.

Maybe the parents are busy looking after his siblings (one is 4 years and another is 5 years old) that he wants to find something to attract his parents' attention. But in the end, he only gets scolding and caning from them. He always complains to us that he does not like his parents. We only have a hard time to explain to him as he always refuses to listen and has his own thinking.

This time his CA 1 exam all failed and the parents are very angry and really dunno how to handle him.

Talking about going for tuition. He does not like it as last year, they sent him for group tuition, after a few months, he could tell the teacher that he did not want to continue the tuition and so the tuition stopped.

They are having some financial problems so they can't let him attend Mindchamp or Adam Khoo.

So, we really dunno how to help this poor boy.
:cry:

angela
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
 
Posts: 191
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:56 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby csc » Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:45 am

I agree with heutistmeintag. I think your nephew may need external help in the form of counselling. You may want to step in to talk to his form teacher. Schools do provide free counselling service for children.

Otherwise, you can also try the one suggested by heutistmeintag. The counsellor may speak with the mother too. She may not know how to handle the situation and will benefit if guidance can be given to her.

Good to take action now while he is still moldable. I don't think there's a need for Adam Khoo or Mindchamps at this stage. It's more of an emotional issue rather than academic.

csc
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1036
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:10 pm
Total Likes: 4


Postby schellen » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:56 am

There are also Family Service Centres (FSCs) in many neighbourhoods. You can go to the NCSS website for more details: http://www.ncss.org.sg/home/index.asp

schellen
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2102
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby ali123 » Thu Mar 05, 2009 2:01 pm

Schools counselling service will make it worst. His friends will laugh at him for counselling. My kid had gone through the counselling. The counsellor is inexperience. The only thing they did is to complain it to the parent. After all, the parent have to solve it themselves. Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with "their heart", in short, "no competent"..

ali123
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Feb 06, 2009 8:24 am
Total Likes: 0



Postby ChiefKiasu » Thu Mar 05, 2009 8:00 pm

ali123 wrote:Schools counselling service will make it worst. His friends will laugh at him for counselling. My kid had gone through the counselling. The counsellor is inexperience. The only thing they did is to complain it to the parent. After all, the parent have to solve it themselves. Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with "their heart", in short, "no competent"..


Dear ali123, I'm sure there are good counsellors, and there are bad ones. It would be unfair for us to use a blanket statement to say that all school counseling services are ineffective. At the very least, they can serve as the first (and inexpensive) line of help for parents at their end of their wits and who have no idea what to do next.

ChiefKiasu
Site Admin
 
Posts: 15424
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2007 9:16 am
Location: Singapore
Total Likes: 328


Postby jedamum » Thu Mar 05, 2009 9:08 pm

ali123 wrote:Counselling service is still very young in Singapore. To me, those counsellor do not work with "their heart", in short, "no competent"..

Off topic...erm...I am looking at signing up as a School counsellor next time when it's time for me to go back to the workforce....given I have 2 kids, I'm sure I will work with my heart.... :wink:

jedamum
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 8787
Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2008 3:58 pm
Total Likes: 26


Postby schellen » Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:25 am

ChiefKiasu wrote:Dear ali123, I'm sure there are good counsellors, and there are bad ones. It would be unfair for us to use a blanket statement to say that all school counseling services are ineffective. At the very least, they can serve as the first (and inexpensive) line of help for parents at their end of their wits and who have no idea what to do next.


Chief is right. I know of 2 very good sch counsellors, one full-time and one part-time. But they work in sec sch.

schellen
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2102
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby ctct61t » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:54 am

schellen wrote:...Nott just, "Well done!" cos your son will think, "What did I do well in? The handwriting? The capital letters? Getting correct answers? Oh, well, never mind, I'll just anyhow hantam next time cos if I do that, sure to hit at least one target." You can then see why positive, specific comments will work better and faster. And don't overdo it or else your son will tune out your comments or get irritated by them.

Good luck! :D


It's really a good reminder for me. I like to encourage my daughter for her progressive in study, but I seldom speak it up in detail, it's true, my daughter may ask me "mummy, is it that I'm writing correctly....", thanks for the reminder.

ctct61t
BlackBelt
BlackBelt
 
Posts: 964
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2008 8:58 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby schellen » Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:11 am

ctct61t wrote:It's really a good reminder for me. I like to encourage my daughter for her progressive in study, but I seldom speak it up in detail, it's true, my daughter may ask me "mummy, is it that I'm writing correctly....", thanks for the reminder.


No problem! ^_^ I have to remind myself occasionally too, especially when I 'm busy or in a bad mood.

schellen
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2102
Joined: Thu Nov 20, 2008 5:17 pm
Total Likes: 0


PreviousNext

Return to Primary Schools - Academic Support