Pte housing children "better performers" than HDB

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Pte housing children "better performers" than HDB

Postby radiantmum » Mon Sep 21, 2009 11:49 pm

Before you start to throw stones at me, this is NOT from me - see below letter published in ST Forum today.

http://www.straitstimes.com/ST%2BForum/ ... 32387.html

In a nutshell, above author supports the subject notion adding his additional "insights" that
(a) HDB dwellers have lower stress threshold (hence detering them to excel) &
(b) Blue collar parents (implied HDB dwellers most likely) have lower aspirations for their children

What particularly irks me is that this kind of sweeping statement comes from someone whom is/claims to be a former school teacher, enrichment prog founder, tuition centre owner and creator of .com - - the very person that I would entrust my kid to. What happens to JIAO WU LEI? (teaching without discrimination) Eh ... personally, teaching with tainted glasses/prejudices is also bad enough for me.

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Postby jedamum » Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:59 am

1. i believe that doctors will produce doctors cos of a. genes; b. good headstart and that aspirations does not play such a major part.

2. Quote: "From my experience, lower-income parents seem to set a lower stress threshold for their children, compared to parents in private housing."
i do agree, but on a different basis. i believe that lower-income parents set lower stress threshold because they are down to earth and know that so long the child is willing to work hard, they can take on any job that is decent. parents in private housing, if had invested in enrichment for children, will surely had higher expectations; hence the higher stress.

jmho.

my blue-collar parents used to tell me (during my stress exam period), all they want is a healthy kid, not someone who studied too much and end up in IMH; hence added to the statistics of 'setting lower threshold'....but so what? of course parents know about nurture over nature (though not 100% true); if not, why the strong demand for places in popular schools yearly?

:roll: x 10 to the article writer.

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Postby tony » Tue Sep 22, 2009 1:53 am

I've been seeing this trend happen around me, and I'm not sure if it's part of this theory of "private housing kids do better". The friends who quit work to look after their kids have seen marked improvement in their kids academic results. Carrying this one step further, to quit one's job implies some measure of economic stability. I'm not saying the opposite is true btw - that not quitting implies that the family is not economically stable.

I don't mean to start a SAHM vs Working Mother debate. I note that there are some working parents on this forum whose kids do well no matter what - from what I read, En, Tamarind, Insider are among them (sorry if I missed out the other names). But then, these are the well educated, interested parents on this forum who would be imparting upwardly mobile ideals to their children.

For most kids, having a parent at home to ensure some level of discipline especially in the primary years can make a difference.

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Re: Pte housing children "better performers" than

Postby atutor2001 » Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:16 am

radiantmum wrote: Blue collar parents (implied HDB dwellers most likely) have lower aspirations for their children


Perhaps it is not "lower aspirations" but rather many parents are "too nice" to their kids; regardless of housing type.

Once I encountered a tutor whose first few questions were, 1) Do your kid take afternoon nap? 2) What time does she sleep at night?

I didn't understand him then, not until many years later. Now I may even ask the same questions.

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Re: Pte housing children "better performers" than

Postby Guest » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:00 am

atutor2001 wrote:Once I encountered a tutor whose first few questions were, 1) Do your kid take afternoon nap? 2) What time does she sleep at night?
I didn't understand him then, not until many years later. Now I may even ask the same questions.


Sorry, can enlighten me what is the meaning of these questions? I feel clueless.
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Re: Pte housing children "better performers" than

Postby watmekiasu » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:15 am

ks2me wrote:
atutor2001 wrote:Once I encountered a tutor whose first few questions were, 1) Do your kid take afternoon nap? 2) What time does she sleep at night?
I didn't understand him then, not until many years later. Now I may even ask the same questions.


Sorry, can enlighten me what is the meaning of these questions? I feel clueless.


Me too. Pray do tell what they imply.

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Postby kaitlynangelica » Tue Sep 22, 2009 10:28 am

I think there could be some truth to the sweeping statement made by Mr Ken Tai. After all, if you are in a high-income profession, you would have the means to send your kids off to more enrichment and expose them at an early age. An earlier exposure also means a better foundation. Also, those in high-income professions tend to be surrounded by a more 'kiasu' crowd which will spur them off to expose their kids at the early age. Furthermore, if this bunch of pp have parents who had tertiary education themselves, they will think that its the norm to push their kids on to more exposure.

I am not sure I am making sense here.

I work in the financial industry and have quite a wide range of friends. off-hand I can recall two friends who live in HDB flats who seem quite ignorant of the demands of the education system these days

1) One wanted to get her gal into an elite school but didn't do anything like rent a place within 1 km of the school. Her reason cited was she was told no priority was given for proximity.

2) Same friend also thinks that its okay for the child to not be able to read when she goes to p1. It is her MIL that started teaching the child to read out of concern.

3) her idea of the kid going to kindergarten is just to play. She doesnt realise that a lot of pp do so to give their child a good foundation and "start-off. Hence she came up to me one day and said : dd still can't read very well except for three-lettered words. I wanted to try I can read but I didn't know its so expensive!". I was surprised at her ignorance.

4) Another colleage told me outrightly she doesn't believe in investing in the child because it will mean that if the child doesn't take care of her in the future, she will be disappointed.

I have never expressed any of my views to these two close friends of mine as I don't want to jeopardise our friendship. But I am surprised at their ignorance of matters.

That said, I think the sweeping statement made is not correct either. I have encountered friends ( highly successful bankers ) who come from very low-income families. They were determind to make it big and have done so. In the same way, they push their children just as hard.

On the contrary, I have another close friend who lives in a condo in Shelford Road. When you talk to her, her main concerns are the child's nutrition and breast-feeding the child. She doesn't believe in exposing the child too much either and is perfectly comfortable givin the bare minimum. In that sense, she is one of the mose bochup mothers I have met.

All in all, I think its a persons' mindset and not the type of housing they live in. The sweeping statement made by the author is just due to the stereotype he has of pp living in certain types of housing.

JMHO.

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Postby atutor2001 » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:06 am

Hi watmekiaus & ks2me

My apology for not being clearer. I used to believe that kids need adequate rest to do well. Taking a nap after the morning school and sleeping before 10 pm were what I used to subscribed to. That tutor believed otherwise. His experience tells him that kids that need so much rest cannot be stressed and will lose out when the going gets tough. So he would not take any kid that has already developed a "weak" attitude.

Some years later, when my girl was in one of "the" school, I realised that all the girls there hardly need to sleep. In the day, they were very active in CCA. At night, they were online chatting and discussing. Interestingly, they can deliver. That was when I stopped nagging my girl to sleep early.

PS
There is this element called discipline that I forgot to highlight. When they stay up late, it was mainly for project works and preparation for test - not games.

Such late nights are not on a daily basis. The usually lasted only for about a month just before exams or a couple of weeks just before deadline of some projects.
Last edited by atutor2001 on Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Postby schellen » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:14 am

ks2me and watmekiasu, sleep determines a child's growth, not just physically but also emotionally and mentally. If you lack sleep, how can you focus on doing well on tasks? This doesn't mean that you can let a child sleep late as long as he/she gets the minimum hours required. The child's body clock must be "nurtured" to adapt to society's schedule, otherwise, the child will not have the opportunities to learn, socialise, play, etc with other people who have "adjusted" their body clock to society's schedule.

ADD: Sorry, I don't agree with atutor's viewpoint. Maybe it's cos of personal experience? Yes, I could cope later in life with less sleep (sometimes, even no sleep) but my health suffered a lot so I learned that I had to achieve a balance.

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Postby Merlion » Tue Sep 22, 2009 11:18 am

> I realised that all the girls there hardly need to sleep. In the day, they were very active in CCA. At night, they were online chatting and discussing. > Interestingly, they can deliver.

But is this good for their health in the long run? Sorry ... I just can not link "sleep early and enough rest" with WEAK attitude.

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