When does your children start to study by themself?

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When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby happy to be mum » Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:55 am

Getting burned out and start to get a little stress out when exams are around the corner.

DS1 is in P4 this year and I told him many times before he is the one taking exams and not me. But if I do not push him at all, as in never assign him any homework or past year exam papers to do, he will not be doing anything the whole day. Getting really tired, physically and mentally, especially with another newborn baby to take care and my DS2 will hit primary education next year too. Wondering when my #1 will be "automati" to take out books to revise by himself.

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby janet88 » Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:11 am

sorry to have to say this...my son was hardly automatic when it comes to studying by himself in primary school. maturity level also depends from child to child...my hubby told me he started to worry and study when he was in sec 3.

your #2 is not the cause for worry just yet...read a storybook with him.
do you have anyone who can help you with the baby?
you can roughly plan a daily revision schedule to follow. I understand how you feel...my son hardly panicked nor worried about his exams.

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby zeemimi » Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:42 am

boys generally take longer to be on auto-gear. mine only started to be on auto gear in Sec 1. That is not much of a comfort for you but generally have to be patient and wait it out.
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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby happy to be mum » Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:44 am

so as a parents, we really always need to be on the move and go, as to push them. Have any parents leave their children to study before secondary on their own? I feel like letting go but worry about the end results!

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby zeemimi » Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:49 am

u can let go gradually, little bit at a time. For eg start off by not checking his homework anymore. let him take responsibility. if he forgets to do hmwk, he has to face the music himself.
You can also let him plan his own timetable. Let him know these are the assignments / mock papers you want him to complete for the week. Let him plan when he wants to do. By the end of the week have to hand up. Very often, we want them to do at the time that we want. Give them some leeway to take responsibility of their own schedule.
Also you can dangle some carrots to motivate him.
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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby jetsetter » Wed Sep 17, 2014 10:58 am

Wondering...does putting kid in student care help?

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby slmkhoo » Wed Sep 17, 2014 1:58 pm

zeemimi wrote:u can let go gradually, little bit at a time. For eg start off by not checking his homework anymore. let him take responsibility. if he forgets to do hmwk, he has to face the music himself.
You can also let him plan his own timetable. Let him know these are the assignments / mock papers you want him to complete for the week. Let him plan when he wants to do. By the end of the week have to hand up. Very often, we want them to do at the time that we want. Give them some leeway to take responsibility of their own schedule.
Also you can dangle some carrots to motivate him.

Agree with this. Build in rewards and penalties, and let him plan with you. This will encourage him to take ownership of the plan. Maybe you can aim to do checks twice a week, then weekly, as he gets more independent. It may not be possible or desirable to let go all at once. Even when my kids are in sec school, I would check up on them now and again.

Kids vary in their growth to independence, and I've been told that boys mature later (I only have girls). That said, I have one girl who wasn't very auto until sec school, and another one who was mostly managing on her own from P1.

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby Yishun » Wed Sep 17, 2014 4:17 pm

My girl Sec 1 this year...still need me to sit in with her when she is doing her school homework. She is not that type of "automatic" girl. She need someone to push her and to tell her what she should do.

Panicked or stress not in her "dictionary' at all. During her exam period I think I more stress than her. Sigh ! Sigh ! :slapshead:

I too wanted to leave her alone and let her stand on her own foot instead of "spoon feeding her" . Have this idea since she's is in Pri 5 but till today can see
that she is still that Happy Go Lucky girl. :dancing:

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby happy to be mum » Wed Sep 17, 2014 5:16 pm

Yishun wrote:My girl Sec 1 this year...still need me to sit in with her when she is doing her school homework. She is not that type of "automatic" girl. She need someone to push her and to tell her what she should do.

Panicked or stress not in her "dictionary' at all. During her exam period I think I more stress than her. Sigh ! Sigh ! :slapshead:

I too wanted to leave her alone and let her stand on her own foot instead of "spoon feeding her" . Have this idea since she's is in Pri 5 but till today can see
that she is still that Happy Go Lucky girl. :dancing:


Don't frighten me!! :yikes: I don't think I want to sit down with my boy at Sec 1!! P6 is the cut off for me and I thought most parents will let go once they hit secondary! :yikes:

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Re: When does your children start to study by themself?

Postby bb_ mom » Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:19 pm

It really depends on the child. We never had to sit with DD (now 13 yo) for her to do her work. At the beginning of each year, we set a revision schedule. After doing homework, she'll revise according to schedule. At most, we nag at her if she's done her work.

With DS (in P5) now, I don't need to sit with him to do his homework but I certainly spend a lot lot lot lot more time to make sure he studies/revises. Similarly to his sis, he also has a revision schedule. But He's not as indie as his sis. I'm hoping he'll be more indie when he's in sec 1 but...

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