Mummy Funz's Funhouse

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Estéema
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Estéema » Sun Sep 01, 2019 11:42 pm

Congrats, Funz! It’s really great relief for parents to hv our kids receive good results & offers. I’m sure u feel very proud of yr DD.

@ MP Guess hv to let go le. DS has been starting & stopping & starting to get sensible esp only closer to exams. Apparently, his belief is he’ll do well with last minute studying to retain facts. I’ve explained the diff btwn short-term & LT memory with not much effect. With my uncle’s recent visit fr Melbourne, DS has a new impetus & saw his self-motivation at work making early notes of his various subj. Was quite impressed how my uncle cld do such magic to spur that self-motivation in this young man. Uncle really hv such a male model effect & something just clicks btwn the two.

I remind myself to leave my kids to find their space to stretch. As teenagers, it’s the age they search & fund their footing as they define themselves into adulthood. Visiting Melbourne in Oct & see how much more inspiration uncle can infuse.

Funz
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Funz » Mon Sep 02, 2019 10:56 am

It is a huge relief that she got the offer as she is very sure that it is what she wants to pursue. If she failed to get the offer and her results fall short of the cut off required she would have been totally lost to what else she would want to pursue. Poly courses cut off points these days are no joke either.

We were talking about the possible scenarios if she did not get the offer and her results fall short. Going to JC is one possibility, however honestly, JC route is not suitable for her because of her learning style. Other relevant poly courses but those courses have similar cut offs as the Vet course if not lower. One possibility we explored was for her to head overseas after her Os. That in itself is rather daunting but is has its pros too.

So now that she had the offer she just needs to stay on track.

Funz
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Funz » Fri Sep 06, 2019 6:35 pm

Image

Not too difficult. Yet to cut or taste. Supposed to be a bolo kind of loaf.

Funz
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Funz » Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:10 pm

I wonder if it is a norm for teens to have a rather prickly relationship with their fathers. I've been having to mediate between father and son and father and daughter more and more lately. Both kids come to me totally frustrated/upset saying they cannot talk to their father or they would rather not approach their father for anything. DH on the other hand will come to me all angry saying the kids have no respect/regard for him. When I try to mediate, I get accused by DD/DS that I don't have their backs and I get accused by DH that I keep siding the kids and not supporting him. When I stay out of it and tell them go sort it out themselves, I am accused of not caring.

With DD and DS, it is easier as they are usually open to talking about what happened and are willing to listen to reasonings. With DH it is another story altogether. With him it is always about absolutes. It is either I am supporting him 100% or not. So if I even try to get him to see things from the kids' point of view, he will see it as not supporting him and shut me off.

Just over the weekend father and daughter had another head butting incident. Spoke to DD yesterday and she basically said it is just so difficult to even have a normal conversation with DH. She finds DH's tone harsh and comments laced with sarcasm which in turn cause her to react likewise. I told her DH does have a harsh tone and comes across as rather aggressive and impatient so just bear that in mind. The other thing the kids had to contend with is DH's brooding and moods. DD's retort was why should she accept that this is how DH is and not DH making the effort to change. She admits that there is a widening gap between her and her father and again she asks why should she be the one making the effort to bridge the gap and not her father.

MrsKiasu
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by MrsKiasu » Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:15 pm

oh dear, Funz you are sandwiched..


Funz
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Funz » Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:29 pm

Haiz. Yah loh. I burst out laughing when DD asked me why I married DH when he is like that. She even said she was disappointed in me. :lol: I told her well, her father basically conned me. She said so he was not like that when you were dating? Told her no loh. She mumbled you so easy to be conned one meh. :skeptical:

:rotflmao:

Nebbermind
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Nebbermind » Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:34 am

Perhaps only your hub or whoever who set high standards for themselves...end up stress and depress and affecting everyone. Unfortunately, the only solution is for that person to look inwardly and reflect, which most of the time is impossible

MyPillow
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by MyPillow » Thu Sep 12, 2019 11:34 am

Funz wrote:
Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:29 pm
Haiz. Yah loh. I burst out laughing when DD asked me why I married DH when he is like that. She even said she was disappointed in me. :lol: I told her well, her father basically conned me. She said so he was not like that when you were dating? Told her no loh. She mumbled you so easy to be conned one meh. :skeptical:

:rotflmao:
She must know and learn sometime b4 married and after married is TOTALLY DIFFERENT lor :wink:

Funz
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by Funz » Thu Sep 12, 2019 3:34 pm

Nebbermind wrote:
Thu Sep 12, 2019 8:34 am
Perhaps only your hub or whoever who set high standards for themselves...end up stress and depress and affecting everyone. Unfortunately, the only solution is for that person to look inwardly and reflect, which most of the time is impossible
Haiz, on one side there is one who has certain expectations but doesn't want to speak plainly and instead expect people to be aware of what he wants. On the other side, I have teens who at this stage are notoriously self absorbed and can be obnoxious.

To me, the adult should be the one to take a step back and try to reach out to the kids. Unfortunately the adult does not see it that way.

hb
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Re: Mummy Funz's Funhouse

Post by hb » Thu Sep 12, 2019 4:16 pm

My dad was a bit like this when we were teens too, especially with my brother - even though we were, objectively, really guai kids. But like all teens we self-absorbed and a tiny bit rebellious and not very interested in his advice and showed it, and he expected to be respected and listened to with more deference. I think this was only resolved with time - we all of us grew up and mellowed (and my brother went to NS, which removed him from my dad's scolding for a bit), and we do all get along pretty well now. Sorry, that doesn't help very much, but just to say that I think this is a common situation, and there's light at the end of the tunnel.

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