Mummy JGMum reporting...

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Mummy JGMum reporting...

Postby JGMum » Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:40 pm

Hi, I am a mum of a 3YO, a 19mth old, and another on the way. I have been following KiasuParents for a while, and find that the information given here is really useful. Thanks for setting up this platform for parents to share info and feedback.

JGMum
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Postby cckmummy » Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:28 pm

Welcome JGMum,
Wow! I'm impressed, u are having a 3rd child. Congrats! Are u a SAHM? I have 2 girls, one 3YO and one 13mth.

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Postby JGMum » Fri Sep 26, 2008 7:48 pm

I wonder why nearly everyone asks that question on this forum...

Yes, I am a SAHM, on no-pay leave for 1 year. I am supposed to be back at work in 2 months time, but since this unexpected 3rd one, I will probably extend my no-pay leave. Too paiseh, going back to work for a couple of months, then go on maternity leave again.

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Postby ChiefKiasu » Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:44 pm

JGMum wrote:I wonder why nearly everyone asks that question on this forum...

Yes, I am a SAHM, on no-pay leave for 1 year. I am supposed to be back at work in 2 months time, but since this unexpected 3rd one, I will probably extend my no-pay leave. Too paiseh, going back to work for a couple of months, then go on maternity leave again.


If you are in a hardware forum, people would ask you what CPU/graphics card/RAM/harddisk/ you have at home. If you are at a mobile phone enthusiast site, then you want to show off the spanking new iPhone 3G to everyone's ooohs and ahhs.

Since we are in a parenting site, of course we want to know how many children you have, and how you are looking after them. Welcome to Kaypo... er.... KiasuParents.com!

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Postby jedamum » Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:59 pm

JGMum,
I guess also cos we hardly find FTWM who has a brood of 3 kids and more (they are the minority), and presume that most with that amount of kids are SAHM. ;)
Welcome to KSP. 8)

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Postby JGMum » Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:33 am

Jedamum, thanks for the welcome.
Indeed, it is very difficult to have 3 kids and still try to manage a career. Our original plan was "stop at two" cos we think that is the ideal number for managing work-life balance and financial resources (who can guarantee their children can get into local uni? Better to budget for overseas tertiary education). Plus the children will have a sibling/playmate, so won't feel so lonely. Now with the 3rd one coming, I seriously don't know what to do. Absolutely no confidence to manage a career with 3 kids. Maybe I have to "downgrade" to a "job" instead of "career". Or maybe stay home full-time for the next couple of years until baby is older? Undecided...

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Postby jedamum » Sat Sep 27, 2008 3:55 pm

JGMum wrote: Undecided...

I think it is pretty generous of your company to give you 1 yr no-pay leave. That probably means that they value your contributions to the company.
Knowing that i'll quit after the birth of my secondborn, I was also too paisay to utilise the maternity leave (after what they have done to arrange part-time work for me) and left a month before I was due. Although the part time prospects in the coy is still opened for me, I find it hard to juggle a 'career' and the kids. Call me a perfectionist, but I can't treat a 'career' like a 'job' without feeling that I am shortchanging my employer.
As your kids are within age-gap of 4 years old, you may want to consider getting a few years off. But then, you may risk getting too attached to the kids (like I do!) to want to be away from them for 8hrs a day, 5 days a week. :(
Part time work or work from home is another good option. But with 3 kids, you may need a helper.

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Postby JGMum » Sat Sep 27, 2008 5:23 pm

Jedamum, thanks so much for your sharing. I feel better knowing that I am not alone.
I had difficulty trying to balance work and kids after the 2nd one. I was feeling guilty about not performing at work, and not "performing" as a mum. I actually tendered my resignation after my second one, but my boss arranged for me to go on no-pay leave. For that, I am really grateful to him. That is also why, I feel that I should not go back and work a couple of months, then go on maternity leave again (even though many friends and family members think I am crazy to forgo the maternity leave $). Thankfully, DH understands and supports my decision. If extension is no longer possible, then I guess I will just have to leave the org, and look for a job again when the baby is older.
Indeed, part-time work would be a good compromise, but there are not many around. But I must say, I did not regret staying at home all this while. My older kid is now closer to me than before.

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Postby jedamum » Sat Sep 27, 2008 8:08 pm

JGMum wrote:Indeed, part-time work would be a good compromise, but there are not many around. But I must say, I did not regret staying at home all this while. My older kid is now closer to me than before.

Is your coy able to arrange for part-time/work from home/assignment basis work?
That can at least keep you connected to your industry should you decide to go back full time in the future.
I don't forsee me going back working anytime soon as my husband wants me to focus on the kids, especially since my elder is starting primary education next year.

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Postby JGMum » Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:06 pm

That will be most ideal! I will talk to my boss and HR to explore the possibilities nearer the date of my return. But it may be a bit difficult as my work is operational in nature. Unless they are willing to transfer me to another department that does not involve front line work.

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