Depressed mum

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Depressed mum

Postby LJHLJH » Mon Mar 07, 2011 11:51 am

Wasn't sure if I'm supposed to report here first. Had read a few threads regarding language impairment, speech therapy and P1 readiness assessment. And basically crawled the entire web and public library catelogue trying to find answers and solutions.

Just realised that I might have subjected my poor language impaired 5 yr old to excessive classes. Mon - Eng tuition; Wed & Sat - speech therapy & Special Ed behaviour class ; Sun - Chinese tuition. All other days - I will follow up with all these homework after his full day childcare cum K2.

Am sick and tired of his K2 teachers telling me he's not ready for P1, can't hold his attention, can't do independent work like his peers etc etc. even if defer P1, maybe not still cannot catch up, might want to consider special school etc etc. Daddy questions why is he like that and why can't he be like other kids his age.

Think I've turned into a monster mum trying to push him harder and harder, and getting melt downs now and then. Mummy is very sorry...

LJHLJH
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Postby Lemon_yes » Mon Mar 07, 2011 12:25 pm

How is the feedback from other teachers of Eng tuition, Speech therapy & Special Ed behaviour class & Chinese tuition ?

Have a talk with your hubby on this, tell him that you are depressed & stressed on this child's development and is trying to find a solution. Tell him not to question again but work together to find ways...

If your child is a bit slow then you have to consider to take a slower pace for him.

Cheer up mum ! :lol:

Lemon_yes
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Postby cotton candy » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:02 am

Yup.. slow things a little and you may see improvement.
Find someone whom you can talk to.. Relax~ :ugogirl:

cotton candy
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Postby Pen88n » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:28 am

Now is only the start of the year, why should his K2 teacher be harping on his readiness for P1? You should also ask her in this case, what is she doing about preparing him for P1 - tell her he is with her childcare for most part of the day, and only home for shorter hours. Shouldn't she be communicating to you on what she's doing with this, rather than "throw the problem' over to you? You can only assist her by working hand-in-hand with whatever she is proposing.

I think you need to talk to your son's other enrichment classes' teachers as well - understand how he is performing in there. Loading in homework is not the solution, but rather to work out what he is lacking and zoom in there. Do not end up creating a fear in learning in your kid, or you will have a bigger issue at hand.

You may also want to consider finding a suitable primary school that can support his needs. Some schools have special programme to support special needs kids, and they are more tolerant to these kids. I know of a friend who managed to pull her son out of Chinese language due to his learning abilities. Do start looking now for this area.

Accept your kid for what he is, and do not force on him to conform to anyone else' standard. His learning journey should be enjoyable (rather than stressful) at such a young age and as a parent, you should support his learning pace.

Pen88n
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Postby LJHLJH » Wed Mar 09, 2011 12:48 pm

Thanks for the encouragement... needed it a lot.

Outside of Kindergarten, his tuition teachers/therapist are saying he is improving albeit slowly at his own pace i.e. still not on par with his age. We intend to enroll him at our neighbourhood school downstairs which according to one of these forums is supportive of learning disabilities. I am meeting up with Principle to discuss more, maybe even explore havng a shadow teacher for him in school.

If we do defer his P1, I'm considering changing kindergartens. Sometimes I think the work they give are unrealistic even if they give it in the name of 'exposure' for the children.

Am trying to take it one day at a time. Have to even restrict myself from searching or reading up on this topic just for one day to get it off my mind and just relax.

LJHLJH
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Postby DesertWind » Wed Mar 09, 2011 10:15 pm

Hi LJHLJH,

Welcome to KSP!

I came across your post in another thread saying you already have an appointment with KKH in May to see the child development doctor izzit?

Has your boy been studying in the same kindy since Nursery or K1?

Because from your post, I think your child may benefit from attending those "Preparation for P1" type of courses from Early Intervention Centres like Bridge Learning.

I put the website link here so that you can visit and read it. Because I found their website very, very encouraging on recommending help for kids with learning difficulties regardless of the labels (or lack of) on what is "wrong" with the kids.

http://www.bridgelearning.com.sg/

Do encourage your hubby to read and work towards helping your child as well. I know it is hard to take it when the teachers give negative feedbacks on your kid. On those days when I heard some negative feedbacks on my kid, my mood would be so bad and inevitably ended up short of patience with my boy and being extra harsh on him and making him cry. Next day or few after getting some rest and better perspective, felt better and tried not to over-react or panic trying to rush for solution.

My boy 3.5 yo is just starting to talk and babbling a lot. He is adorable if not for the pressure when compared to his peers. He started Nursery this year at a traditional kindy. Am also trying not to panic and go down the path of pressurizing him but to balance the helps that he would need. His kindy teachers feedback about holding pencil not quite there yet and his speech. So I look towards speech therapy and early intervention centres to help my son. I am not looking towards conventional tuition centres or enrichment classes because I think these teachers may not have the necessary patience or skills to help children with some developmental delays.

There are quite a number of early intervention centres around which offer such "Prep for school" types of program if you are interested or if you do not already know about them.

Try your best to relax and pray for wisdom to know what to do for your kid. Do what you feel is right in your heart and when you made a decision you feel at peace.

:celebrate:

DesertWind
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Postby LKVM » Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:32 am

Welcome to KSP

:welcome:
Dont get disheaten.. not all kids are same.. P1 shouldnt be that tough..

LKVM
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Postby cimman » Thu Mar 10, 2011 11:38 am

it is best you get to the root cause of the problem. There could be a learning diability.
Check your kid for ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia. Go to DAS for the Dyslexia test, the Child Guidance Clinic for ADHD test or you can get the test at Mount E.
Test at the Child Guidance Clinic is the cheapest, but there is a waiting list.
Take an IQ test as well.

No need to fret, but you can't sit on this and push your kid if he/she has a learning disability.

Go for the relevant tests, at least, then you're armed with information on how to deal with the situation. Attacking the problem in the dark will be both frustrating and futile both for you and your child.

If your child has Dyslexia, you can opt to have your child get 2nd Language exempted. Coping with English will be hard enough for a dyslexic child, coping with 2 languages is near impossible. The school will provide for such arrangements if your child is proven to be dyslexic.

If your child has ADHD, get help from professional help on how to teach your kid. These kids have very special needs and require special learning programs. They are not complicated, just different from the learning methods expoused by most parents in this forum. They can still progress and get good grades, but you must have the proper training methods. SPARK is a ADHD support group in Singapore. You can get relevant information on how to deal with a child with learning disabilities.

cimman
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Postby LJHLJH » Thu Mar 10, 2011 5:34 pm

His current diagnosis is suspected Language impairment (or MERLD, mixed expressive/receptive language delay), but is showing signs of slow progress. He's coming to 6 yr in sept, but has a speech and language level of a 2 year old. We only started intensive speech therapy this year as kk was very full and had only monthly therapy since he was 3+yrs. Think we wasted some time there, and they didn't want to test him for anything as he wasn't showing obvious signs of autism, ADHD or dyslexia, so it was like an elimination style. And now that he is gradually talking with more words, langugage impairment is just suspected becoz he might just have speech delay and will catch up in time.

I think I was starting to panic now that his P1 enrollment is drawing near and his peers are so way ahead in communication.

Desertwind is right, negative comments from preschool teachers really puts me off for the day. And yes, come May, there's a KK appt for school readiness testing, IQ testing etc. I'll see how this turns out...

LJHLJH
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Postby Village Girl » Fri Mar 11, 2011 9:07 am

Dont be dishearten. My niece is 6 years old this year and not able to speak at all. She has been going to speech therapy for the last few years and till now no imporvement.

Every kid develop differently. Dont give up. Jia you.

Village Girl
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