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Club SAHM

Newbies report here first! And if you feel like you would like your own club, come and create one yourself too.

Are you

a hoping-to-become SAHM?
86
15%
a most-likely-to-be-permanent SAHM?
79
14%
a trying-to-become-EX SAHM?
36
6%
a cannot-afford-to-be SAHM?
60
10%
already a SAHM and lovin' it?
252
43%
already a SAHM but hating it?
43
7%
a tai-tai kind of SAHM?
29
5%
 
Total votes : 585

Re: Club SAHM

Postby mkw » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:15 pm

Thanks:) Yes I like the flexibility because I find I have too little time with them now..but just worried that when they grow up, I will have nothing to do and may not be able to join the workforce again as in my experience would be obsolete by then

mkw
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby slmkhoo » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:22 pm

mkw wrote:Thanks:) Yes I like the flexibility because I find I have too little time with them now..but just worried that when they grow up, I will have nothing to do and may not be able to join the workforce again as in my experience would be obsolete by then

Then keep abreast with current affairs and developments in the area that you are in now while you are a SAHM. You won't need to spend 24/7 with your kids, and it's good for them to see you reading and doing other things besides paying attention to them. Perhaps take up a hobby or develop an existing one, with a view to even turning it into a 2nd career one day. It would be unrealistic to expect to continue your career from the point you left off, although some women have been able to do so. It would also be unrealistic to expect your earning power to be the same as if you had not taken a break. But you can go back to work after a SAHM break if you really want to. I was a SAHM foor 17 yrs, and although I am not in the same line that I was in before my kids were born, it's related. And although I am earning a lot less because I am freelance and part-time, I am working. If I were willing to work full-time, my options would be greater, but I decided on part-time.

slmkhoo
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby mkw » Wed Nov 01, 2017 1:44 pm

Thanks simkhoo. Makes sense. Thanks for the suggestions, it gives me some peace knowing that I can still continue working at least part time when my kids are older. I do see some friends, once they become SAHM, they seem to disappear and their whole lives literally revolves around their kids which I am personally not so comfortable with.

mkw
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby ammonite » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:11 pm

mkw wrote:Am thinking to quit my job to look after my two kids. One is 7 and the other is 4. How is the life of a SAHM? Haha


Think carefully and make sure that your partner is on board. Have an understanding with regards to financial responsibilities and division of labour at home. Transiting from double income to single income will come with change in expectations and it will show up in not just who pays what, but who does what. Being a SAHM is a very different ball-game from working in office where duties, working hours and remuneration are clearly defined. Personality (mum's and kids') play a role as well.

As for how is life as a SAHM, this is up to you to define. There is the ah sum lifestyle (marketing, cleaning, coaching, bao ka liao) to the atas (childcare, tutors, morning facials and exercise classes, afternoon high teas while kids at tutors and classes)lifestyle and everything in between.

Communication with your other half is important. Does he expect a well-groomed wife to come home to everyday, dinner on the table, kids clean and healthy and homework all done and he puts his feet up after dinner to rest and enjoy the fruits of his labour as sole breadwinner? Or does he expect to come home to some chaos and have to help out to bath the kids and vacuum the living room while you take a break because you have been on your feet all day?

Do you expect to maintain the same lifestyle, same holiday, eat out with same frequency or will you cut back on some things to make the budget work? Do you expect him to give you a monthly allowance because you are putting your career on hold for his children, or does he expect you to dip into your savings to maintain yourself because after all, this is your dream that you are fulfilling, he is still slogging as usual etc etc.

I have seen all types, and the expectations of both parties are more important than actual income. So think it through and be sure to lay the important items out for discussions.

ammonite
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby zac's mum » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:15 pm

mkw wrote:Thanks simkhoo. Makes sense. Thanks for the suggestions, it gives me some peace knowing that I can still continue working at least part time when my kids are older. I do see some friends, once they become SAHM, they seem to disappear and their whole lives literally revolves around their kids which I am personally not so comfortable with.

Yes unfortunately that happened to my own mum. She left a high-flying career to become a SAHM and unfortunately after us kids grew up, she was still stuck in her housewife role and just happy watching tv and no contact with her former friends at all.

Which is why I was determined not to let my own interests stagnate or allow to remain buried forever. At least plan to live life after your kids don't need you to mother them anymore.

On a side note, instead of quitting your current job outright, is it possible to request moving to a part-time role? At least try, anyway you got nothing to lose. My employer did permit that, and I tried it for a while. It did not work out when colleagues didn't respect my boundaries & kept calling after I off duty.

zac's mum
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby MsKyoko » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:26 pm

As for myself,I actually became a SAHM for less than 6 months.Spent my days reading,exercising,homeschooling the DDs and also keeping in touch with the current world.

Some sacrifices have to be made(eating less often outside like restaurants and cutting unnecessary expenses like personal and mass/personal entertainment).Even DH has to think twice now when buying top-end Adidas soccer boots and goalkeeper gloves because he is involved in a weekend team.

Initially,I just wanted to stay at home for the next 2 years until both DDs go to Secondary 1 and then I will go back to work after that.

But the appearing of another younger pair of female twins threw a spanner into my working plans.I am now thinking if I should be a permanent SAHM or not.

Most likely go back to work when the older DDs reach upper secondary or JC levels.
Last edited by MsKyoko on Wed Nov 01, 2017 3:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MsKyoko
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby mkw » Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:43 pm

Thanks everyone, those are good questions to think about. My hubby is for it. Earnings wise, I think should be ok but I am more concerned about not keeping in touch with what is going on. I wanted to work part time but my company is not really for it so sigh it is either work full time or don't work at all.

mkw
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby MsKyoko » Wed Nov 01, 2017 5:53 pm

mkw wrote:Thanks everyone, those are good questions to think about. My hubby is for it. Earnings wise, I think should be ok but I am more concerned about not keeping in touch with what is going on. I wanted to work part time but my company is not really for it so sigh it is either work full time or don't work at all.


I am also learning how to be more frugal and manage my expenses as a SAHM.

We don't really go on holidays that much except just the annual trips back to Malaysia and Australia.

MsKyoko
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby mkw » Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:12 pm

Yes true..hope I can make a smooth transition to being a SAHM..most probably would be tendering soon.

mkw
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Re: Club SAHM

Postby slmkhoo » Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:43 pm

mkw wrote:Yes true..hope I can make a smooth transition to being a SAHM..most probably would be tendering soon.

It's different for different people. If your identity is very tied up with what you work as, then it can be a difficult adjustment to become "just" as SAHM. And if you need a lot of social interaction, that can be tough too. Some find that the day becomes too unstructured and they don't get a lot done, while others love being able to do things on the spur of the moment. I work better with a schedule, so I naturally found myself keeping to a fairly structured day. It may take you a while to discover what works best for you.

slmkhoo
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