Daddy mbs_parent1: Newbie introduction.

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Daddy mbs_parent1: Newbie introduction.

Postby mbs_parent1 » Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:31 am

Hello to all dads and mums, and not forgeting ChiefKiasu,

I am a father of a 9 year old and a 5 year old girls. I found this website/forum thru web searches for a forum about my girl school. I found this to be a a great place for parents to find more information and share experience about the issue face my parent whether it is the P1 registration, subject matters, etc.

My girl being an introvert is often scolded my us (parent) for not being able to relay information from the school. This had cause us some stress both the parent and our child.

I hope that I can share my grievances with parents with similar introvert child.

Regards.

mbs_parent1
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Re: Newbie introduction.

Postby jedamum » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:26 pm

Hi mbs_parent1,
Welcome to KSP. 8)
Its great to see another dad around here to show that mums are not the only stakeholders in the kids education/mental well-being. :)
I will reckon that being introvert has nothing to do with being unable to relay information. There are introvert (meaning 'shy') kids who are just as kiasu (me for eg :lol: ). Is your girl plain forgetful?

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Postby mbs_parent1 » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:34 pm

Well, there are situation where forgetful is the issue. However, we had tried her like asking her to buy drinks at the food court, which turn out that her younger sister is more keen then her to try although she had been doing that in Primary school.

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Re: Newbie introduction.

Postby ChiefKiasu » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:52 pm

mbs_parent1 wrote:...I am a father of a 9 year old and a 5 year old girls... My girl being an introvert is often scolded my us (parent) for not being able to relay information from the school. This had cause us some stress both the parent and our child...


Hi mbs_parent, and welcome! I can understand the stress of having your children not properly relaying information from the school. I'm still having the same problems with my 9yo son. It's been like that since P1, and seems to get worse with naggings, scoldings and punishments. It is especially difficult for me, being the anal retentive person I am.

How do I cope now? Well, by shifting from micro to broad-based management. I used to pack his bag and pencil case everyday to check for notices and homework, trying to get him into a regime of being neat and ready for school. That created a lot of friction between my son and I, and everytime I go home I dread having to go through his bag, and finding things not in their proper place and homework not reported or completed. That created a lot of stress and there were long sessions of scoldings every night. I realized that I was trying to make him into me :? .

Since the beginning of P3, I decided that it was all counterproductive, and I basically told him that I will no longer touch his bag, and leave it entirely to him to manage everything himself. My only requirement is for him to show us his parents-teacher's book every now and then to describe what he has to do in school, and when his tests and exams are. My wife and I got the direct line/email address to his form teacher and told her to let us know if he is not handing in his homework. Things seem to get a bit better over time, and I have not opened his bag in the past 8 months. He still goes off the tangent at times, not handing in his Chinese homework (oh... he hates it so much!), but is generally more in tune with whatever's happening in school, even for things which he do not fancy. I'm not sure if this is the result of him maturing or if the greater freedom having an effect on him, but I know it lowers my blood pressure tremendously :).

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Postby jedamum » Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:57 pm

mbs_parent1 wrote:However, we had tried her like asking her to buy drinks at the food court, which turn out that her younger sister is more keen then her to try although she had been doing that in Primary school.

Ah ha! First, do you believe that you can change an introvert person into an extrovert one? If not, give her more time. I remember my primary school report book is written with 'very quiet', 'need to speak up more' as most of the comments. Even for my first job, my boss commented that I was too quiet. 8)
Practice makes perfect and builds courage (although I still hate public speaking :roll: ). Encouragement works better than threats. My introvert (yet bossy!) K2 boy, who can read independently, has turn down his teacher twice when she asked him to help her to read a book to the class. He has since promised me that he'll take up the offer next time the teacher requested him to.
As for buying food, if your girl likes icecream, bring her to macdonalds and get her to buy it herself....if she don't buy, no icecream for her...it works for my boy though. heee.

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