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Mummy Jennifer's Hatch

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby Jennifer » Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:40 pm

clay569 wrote:
Jennifer wrote:End of 2nd week in sch.

Last night elder boy told me his last year LA teacher met him in sch n asked him if ah boy has always bn an outspoken person.

Had a talk with ah boy this morning.

Outspoken n rude is a fine thin line.

Many pple will say it is the parents' responsibility in child raising, I totally agree.

BUT some children r just :gloomy:

Soft, hard approaches falling on deaf ears.

If I had only one child, I might be questioned of my parenting style being unable to raise a well mannered child.


:snuggles: can 了解你的心情

Mine also often get such comments from teachers. This year not yet and I hope won't. Also tried soft and hard approaches. Now am hoping he'll mature and learn to take cues from surrounding and learn to control his tongue.

Yes, like you said, 'if I only have one child, I might be questioned of my parenting style being unable to raise a well mannered child'. I use that to stop any self-blame but can't help thinking 'why like that?'


:hugs:

I told him to think back his behaviour for the past 2 weeks, what had happened for a teacher or teachers to say sth about "outspoken" and what he needs to do in future.

I find he is lacking in self-reflection skills. It's like he does not think he is wrong or has bn behaving inappropriately.

How I wish there is a miracle pill he can pop and all of a sudden, become a mature child.

Jennifer
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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby mummy OnABudget » Fri Jan 24, 2014 12:45 pm

if theres such a pill i also wan lol boy is trying his best and i am also trying to hold my tongue teachers ask me to remind myself that hes going through a transitional period and he also has medical conditions that i need to hold myself back.

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby clay569 » Fri Jan 24, 2014 1:20 pm

Me too! If only such a pill exists! I'm trying to hold my own tongue too so as not to scold him for situations that stem from inadequate maturity. Telling myself 'patience!'

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby PiggyLalala » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:04 pm

Jennifer wrote:
clay569 wrote:
Jennifer wrote:End of 2nd week in sch.

Last night elder boy told me his last year LA teacher met him in sch n asked him if ah boy has always bn an outspoken person.

Had a talk with ah boy this morning.

Outspoken n rude is a fine thin line.

Many pple will say it is the parents' responsibility in child raising, I totally agree.

BUT some children r just :gloomy:

Soft, hard approaches falling on deaf ears.

If I had only one child, I might be questioned of my parenting style being unable to raise a well mannered child.


:snuggles: can 了解你的心情

Mine also often get such comments from teachers. This year not yet and I hope won't. Also tried soft and hard approaches. Now am hoping he'll mature and learn to take cues from surrounding and learn to control his tongue.

Yes, like you said, 'if I only have one child, I might be questioned of my parenting style being unable to raise a well mannered child'. I use that to stop any self-blame but can't help thinking 'why like that?'


:hugs:

I told him to think back his behaviour for the past 2 weeks, what had happened for a teacher or teachers to say sth about "outspoken" and what he needs to do in future.

I find he is lacking in self-reflection skills. It's like he does not think he is wrong or has bn behaving inappropriately.

How I wish there is a miracle pill he can pop and all of a sudden, become a mature child.


This really sounds like one of my sons. 讲来讲去, 都讲不通。 In the end, we have to use cane. But still he obeyed out of fear and not because he understood what he had done wrong. Very difficult child at times... he has his own views and very difficult to change:(

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby PiggyLalala » Fri Jan 24, 2014 2:15 pm

clay569 wrote:Me too! If only such a pill exists! I'm trying to hold my own tongue too so as not to scold him for situations that stem from inadequate maturity. Telling myself 'patience!'


This is what I have been telling myself too. Some children just need more time to grow and mature. Yup...be patient. .. tough at times. .. already closing 1.5 eyes...

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby Jennifer » Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:41 pm

Ya, waiting for the child to grow up.

Outsiders will not though.

This is the worrying part.

Jennifer
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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby icy_mama » Fri Jan 24, 2014 3:51 pm

Jennifer wrote:Ya, waiting for the child to grow up.

Outsiders will not though.

This is the worrying part.

there will always be some outsiders who will not understand, there will be some who will. there will even be relatives who understand and there will be some who won't. one can't please everyone no matter how much you worry.

ah boy will grow up when it's time for him to do so. no amount of worrying will change the process.

it's hard, hey, who says motherhood is easy? but it's up to us not to take it too hard. but when the going gets hard, there's always a icy_mama hug! :hugs: :wink:

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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby Jennifer » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:12 pm

PiggyLalala wrote:
Jennifer wrote:I find he is lacking in self-reflection skills. It's like he does not think he is wrong or has bn behaving inappropriately..


This really sounds like one of my sons. 讲来讲去, 都讲不通。 In the end, we have to use cane. But still he obeyed out of fear and not because he understood what he had done wrong. Very difficult child at times... he has his own views and very difficult to change:(


I hardly cane ah boy these days. No use. The same issue will come up again n again unless he understands the reason why it is an issue.

Just had a talk with him about unspoken rules n the need for these.

I find I can't talk too much, he only has that much attention, I talk too much, just fly over his ears, waste of our time.

Hiaz.

Jennifer
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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby Jennifer » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:17 pm

icy_mama wrote:
Jennifer wrote:Ya, waiting for the child to grow up.

Outsiders will not though.

This is the worrying part.

there will always be some outsiders who will not understand, there will be some who will. there will even be relatives who understand and there will be some who won't. one can't please everyone no matter how much you worry.

ah boy will grow up when it's time for him to do so. no amount of worrying will change the process.

it's hard, hey, who says motherhood is easy? but it's up to us not to take it too hard. but when the going gets hard, there's always a icy_mama hug! :hugs: :wink:


With the society getting more violent, I worry abt him getting hurt, physically as well as emotionally.

There is also the fear of him not growing up at all.

Jennifer
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Re: Mummy Jennifer: New member reporting

Postby Sun_2010 » Fri Jan 24, 2014 4:18 pm

Jen,

Hang in there.
Let me share my experience. Just spent 3 weeks together with my bro and his family this Dec-Jan. O, the arguments between my brother and my nephew - as a third party I can understand the concern and worry in my bro's words. And i can see that wall in my nephew's brain as he spoke. Even as tears started to stream down his eyes , he refused to budge from his stance that he was right. What seemed to be risky and dangerous to all of us just did not to him. His point was but everything turned out right. The desperation of my brother vs the defiance of my nephew ! Sigh! no solution, just hope he understands .
Their interaction in ways helped me deal with my DD. I can scream and shout and let it all out - but if she was not willing to listen, then it makes no sense. They are too big and too strong ( in will) for us to push or cajole or convince- not unless they want us to. So have to be patient. And explain. And wait patiently. And pray for minimum damage. And work on maintaining our bonds strong. And then wait patiently some more.

Of course you have icy_mama's warm hugs while waiting :hugs:

PS- wow , painted your place :salute:

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