Home alone

PSLE marks the graduation of Primary school students and their entry into Secondary schools as teenagers. Discuss all issues about Secondary schooling here.

Home alone

Postby staxel » Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:51 pm

Hi,
(sorry if you are reading this a second time. First time posted in the wrong category)

Is there anyone out there whose kid – going onto sec 1 is left on his own during the day as both parents are working?
Mine will be left on his own and am getting a bit worried as there are too many feedback about them going ‘wild’ at this age onward. None of his grandparents are nearby and they are too old to keep an eye on him. Getting a helper is out. Day-care is also out as he resent that idea, being a ‘big’ boy now. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated?

worried

staxel
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:09 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby meredith84 » Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:31 pm

Hi,

Wondering are you still looking for a childcare / day care services ? Don't know if it's help you or not, but I'm only give an alternative for you. If you're still looking for it, perhaps you can contact a girl who taking care of your child, teaching your child with their homework, some kind like that. Will PM you for details and hope it help.

meredith84
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Nov 11, 2008 11:37 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby staxel » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:51 pm

meredith84 wrote:Hi,

Wondering are you still looking for a childcare / day care services ? Don't know if it's help you or not, but I'm only give an alternative for you. If you're still looking for it, perhaps you can contact a girl who taking care of your child, teaching your child with their homework, some kind like that. Will PM you for details and hope it help.


Hi meredith84,
Thank you for your response. No. My boy used to attend a day care. Now, the 'big' boy does not want anymore and is alone since p6. I am just worried as this is the age that can go astray.

Thanks you very much.
cheers

staxel
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:09 pm
Total Likes: 0


Re: Home alone

Postby csc » Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:55 pm

staxel wrote:Hi,
(sorry if you are reading this a second time. First time posted in the wrong category)

Is there anyone out there whose kid – going onto sec 1 is left on his own during the day as both parents are working?
Mine will be left on his own and am getting a bit worried as there are too many feedback about them going ‘wild’ at this age onward. None of his grandparents are nearby and they are too old to keep an eye on him. Getting a helper is out. Day-care is also out as he resent that idea, being a ‘big’ boy now. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated?

worried


First, you have to know your child. Is your child disciplined, reliable and responsible? Does he need supervision to get things done ? Is he also easily influenced by his peers ? If he has proven himself to be independent and reliable and his school hours and CCAs are long and busy enough to keep him occupied in the afternoons, maybe less supervision is required.

Otherwise, you may want to rethink your option.

However, it is always good to have a caregiver at home ,be it, the mother (the best), a grandparent ,a relative or a reliable maid. Teenage children may think they are grown-up but they still need the adult's support, encouragement and guidance when they meet with problems (esp in relationship) in their teen years.

For myself, I can't imagine my own children returning to an empty house after a long stressful day at school with nobody to welcome him home with a warm meal and love. If homes are safe havens, we will have less problem kids who hang out at shopping malls after school. I believe they don't look forward to be home alone.

csc
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:10 pm
Total Likes: 4


Re: Home alone

Postby staxel » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:10 pm

csc wrote:
staxel wrote:Hi,
(sorry if you are reading this a second time. First time posted in the wrong category)

Is there anyone out there whose kid – going onto sec 1 is left on his own during the day as both parents are working?
Mine will be left on his own and am getting a bit worried as there are too many feedback about them going ‘wild’ at this age onward. None of his grandparents are nearby and they are too old to keep an eye on him. Getting a helper is out. Day-care is also out as he resent that idea, being a ‘big’ boy now. Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated?

worried


First, you have to know your child. Is your child disciplined, reliable and responsible? Does he need supervision to get things done ? Is he also easily influenced by his peers ? If he has proven himself to be independent and reliable and his school hours and CCAs are long and busy enough to keep him occupied in the afternoons, maybe less supervision is required.

Otherwise, you may want to rethink your option.

However, it is always good to have a caregiver at home ,be it, the mother (the best), a grandparent ,a relative or a reliable maid. Teenage children may think they are grown-up but they still need the adult's support, encouragement and guidance when they meet with problems (esp in relationship) in their teen years.

For myself, I can't imagine my own children returning to an empty house after a long stressful day at school with nobody to welcome him home with a warm meal and love. If homes are safe havens, we will have less problem kids who hang out at shopping malls after school. I believe they don't look forward to be home alone.


Thanks CSC,

What you have just shared indeed confirmed my greatest fear. I do agreed that it would be so unbearable not to have anyone to welcome him home not to mention no one to share his joy or troubled. With no relatives nearby, no full-time helper, I am at my wit-end. Yes, I would definitely quit my job, unfortunately, this is no longer an option.

Will not give up thinking of a solution. Any solution and suggestions are welcome.

staxel
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:09 pm
Total Likes: 0



Postby csc » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:25 pm

You may want to think of working part-time since the child will not be home for the mornings and early afternoons, I believe.

Working from home is another viable option.

Otherwise, make sure he is fully engaged and occupied with CCAs, tuition , enrichment etc etc etc

csc
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1035
Joined: Sat Nov 01, 2008 5:10 pm
Total Likes: 4


Home alone

Postby staxel » Tue Nov 25, 2008 2:29 pm

Good suggestion CSC.
Will work on these suggestions.
Thanks

staxel
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:09 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby EN » Tue Nov 25, 2008 6:00 pm

Hi staxel

The situation really depends on your child. How comfortable you are with him being at home alone. How well do you know your son friends, how close a relationship you have with your son & your son characteristic, likes & dislikes.

Have a long talk with your son on how he feels staying at home alone. What his activities are after school besides revising & doing homework. Youngsters tend to either hang around somewhere to chitchat, study together, doing school projects or just simply chill out. If home does not cater for privacy, they might seek public places instead.

Well, that was what I did during my secondary, jc & uni years. Favourite place is actually a home where parents are working, clean house with tidbits/finger food to eat. It's more comfortable than the shopping malls, library or any open areas & less costly.

You might want to give unscheduled calls daily to check if everything is alright (make it sound casual, caring rather than checking). Invites his close friends for weekend lunch or dinner (one of my colleague does that). Always be on the alert if you see there is any change in negative attitude in your son (that was the advise I've seen in tv on teen delinquent).

EN
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1108
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:06 pm
Total Likes: 0


Home alone

Postby staxel » Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:50 am

Hi EN,
Thank you very much.
Currently, I make it a point that he calls or I call to chit-chat with him. Daily, without fail, he would asks the same question like, "Mummy, where are you? What are you doing?" (even though he knows that I am in the office). I guess he is lonely and just wants to talk to me. I will try to talk to him and check on his feeling. (still cannot help but feel guilty). Sometimes, he would call to said that he is going cycling with so and so. Normally, I would allow him with advice to be careful.

Yes, good advice on inviting his friends over for dinner or for the weekend. Fully agreed that this is a good way to know the type of friends he is mixing with. Will sit down and discuss with him on all options and how we can work out a 'timetable' or understanding on how he intends to spent his days. Of course, if I can be around, to me, that is always the best deal. Many teens do not realise how blessed they are in having their mum around.

Thanks

staxel
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Nov 21, 2008 2:09 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby EN » Wed Nov 26, 2008 1:34 pm

Your welcome, staxel.

You might also want to be in contact with your son teacher for his extra eca/classes, enrichment etc. Let the teacher alert you if your son is missing from the required classes. A naughty kid once told me that permission form from school can easily be blanco, change the days/timing, then zap it for parents to sign. Trusting parents will just take note that their kid will be involve in camp/extra classes without realizing that it has been fabricated.

Depending on where you are staying, some places are favourite hang out by teenagers especially under the HDB void deck. Check out your surrounding area to ensure your kid is safe from bullies.

Besides inviting for lunch, my daughter told me that her friend parents invited some of her daughter's classmate for a movie after exam is over. When I was young, my friend's father picked us up from the stadium after our game of squash & treat us to Mac. Some throw a barbecue & invited their child's friend & parents along for a get to know each other session.

My kids will soon be in the same boat (several more years to go). So, I will also welcome any suggestion that other parents might have.

EN
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1108
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:06 pm
Total Likes: 0


Next

Return to Secondary Schools - Academic Support