KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Based on what I see in the Forum, there are more topics discussed
concerning kids from baby to P6 but not so for those who start sec 1 and beyond.
Does it means children above 12 are out of our radar?
I am sure parents do face problems with older children too, right?

Maybe because majority of parents here have younger children?
Anyway, just go ahead and start something. I'm sure people will start responding. Although my DD is only in P1, I had some experience with older children so I'll help whenever I can.

To schellen
Thanks for your support.
My son is in sec 1 and since pr 1, he always revised his schoolwork with me. I wonder if I should let him study on his own now and
consult me/hubby when he needs help. I currently still sit down with him through most subjects and taught him how to highlight important
info eg definitions, dates etc. I feel he needs some guidance especially
with subjects that are new to him eg history, literature, geography etc.
He seems to be dependant on me and does not have the initiative to study by himself and that worries me.
So parents, independant studying or studying with mother?
Please advise.

pinky,
I would reckon that perhaps for the first half year, you still have to sit down with him as Sec1 is a pretty big jump from P6 in terms of the number of subjects and types of subjects. You may wish to consider cutting down on the time spent revising with him though and allocate more time for him to selfstudy and you just do the revision with him (be it thrice a week, weekly or fortnightly assuming you are doing it daily now/previously). When he is more familiar with the subject requirements, then independent learning is the way to go.
JMHO.

pinky wrote:To schellen
Thanks for your support.
My son is in sec 1 and since pr 1, he always revised his schoolwork with me. I wonder if I should let him study on his own now and
consult me/hubby when he needs help. I currently still sit down with him through most subjects and taught him how to highlight important
info eg definitions, dates etc. I feel he needs some guidance especially
with subjects that are new to him eg history, literature, geography etc.
He seems to be dependant on me and does not have the initiative to study by himself and that worries me.
So parents, independant studying or studying with mother?
Please advise.

Hi pinky,

Where do you find time to go through all the work with your son ? For me, I don't study with my son, but I do help him when he encounters problems with homework. Or give him some suggestion on how to make his report or work look better.

So far, it seems like the textbooks are not really used, notes are given out instead. I have to teach him how to organize his notes though. He can be quite disorganized.

I am for independent study with regular spot checking from mother at the beginning. It's important in secondary schools cos' they will probably need to do more projects on their own than when they were in primary schools.

As for me, after the great pressure of PSLE, I am taking this privillage stage of sec 1 to let go a bit and let him learn more self-study and independent work. Spot check is neccessary, I do agree and give suggestion. Be more aware of their emotional change at this begining stage of teenager.

Insider, agree with you. Think we should guide them ,not so much in terms of content input, but instead , provide them with skills or strategies to help them in their studies..

I'm looking at time management skills, note-making skills, summary skills, speed-reading could be helpful too... organising skills (like what lizawa is doing)...

However, if the child is weak in his foundation or motivation... he may still need a coach (parents or tutor) to guide him and encourage him in his studies in the initial stage... otherwise, may have problem catching up at the final and crucial stage..

pinky wrote:To schellen
Thanks for your support.
My son is in sec 1 and since pr 1, he always revised his schoolwork with me. I wonder if I should let him study on his own now and
consult me/hubby when he needs help. I currently still sit down with him through most subjects and taught him how to highlight important
info eg definitions, dates etc. I feel he needs some guidance especially
with subjects that are new to him eg history, literature, geography etc.
He seems to be dependant on me and does not have the initiative to study by himself and that worries me.
So parents, independant studying or studying with mother?
Please advise.

My son's the opposite. He has always been very independent in his stuides. However, the problem is, he does not have good time management, tends to dilly dally, take his own sweet time, and spends disproportionately long hours on internet research works. He also does not have the initiative to study on his own. Even when preparing for his PSLE, he was like that. My offer to help him compile info from the internet for his researches were usually turned down as he prefers to do it himself.

At times, I feel so proud of him because of his capabilities. Most times, I am frustrated with his attititude; for not working hard and realising his potential. He knows what he wants; as long as he does not have to slog to get it, otherwise, a lower achievement will do for him! His results - not bad, but could have been much better. Sigh...

Before P4, he was not like that. He had a very good atitude, an inquisitive mind and so receptive to his parents' advice. Now, he is a bit rebellious. Is this part of growing up?

I have always taken an advisory role in my parenting style. I was a rebellious child and fully understand how force and punishment may backfire. I urge, I advise, I explain - never use the cane on him before, never punish/scold for carelessness or less than ideal results (I know of parents who caned child for missing out pages in exam!). I believe I nag though. Hope he will mature and turn out more self motivated soon.

Fairy wrote: Most times, I am frustrated with his attititude; for not working hard and realising his potential. He knows what he wants; as long as he does not have to slog to get it, otherwise, a lower achievement will do for him! His results - not bad, but could have been much better. Sigh...
.

Fairy,
Your boy sounds very much like my husband! His rationale is, why work so hard to get that 'perfect' score, when with minimal work, being second is just as good? I can see my ds1 slowly going down this path too. I had repeatedly told him to take pride in his work and whatever work that needs to be done have to do it well, he'll go, "but it's MY work...let me do it MY way.". Sigh...

Fairy wrote: My son's the opposite. He has always been very independent in his stuides. However, the problem is, he does not have good time management, tends to dilly dally, take his own sweet time, and spends disproportionately long hours on internet research works. He also does not have the initiative to study on his own. Even when preparing for his PSLE, he was like that. My offer to help him compile info from the internet for his researches were usually turned down as he prefers to do it himself.

My son acts exactly in the same way!