3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

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3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby Bza » Thu Jan 17, 2013 9:54 am

Hi,

My 3 year old girl would not want to change to her school uniform after taking her shower, she wants to wear her home clothes. But even when it is time for her to change so that we can leave the house, she would start whining and crying that she does not want to wear her school uniform.

We had to tell her that it is a must that all students wear school uniforms and that her classmates are all wearing it and that the school requires all students to wear.Afterwhich she will change and then proceed to the door to put on her shoes.

Then while on the way to school (walking distance), she will start crying and whining again saying that she does not want to go to school again, even when on the way when we see her classmates and the parents would try to console her by saying that her classmates are also going to school and that they can play together. We had to carry her to school as she would just stand there and not want to barge.

Once we reached the school, she would then tell us that she does not want to eat in school (snacks provided), so we told the teachers in front of her that if she does not want to eat, then its fine which the teachers agreed.

How do we handle the situations as we tried to talk nicely to her, but she would not listen and we do not want to tell her during or after all the struggles that she does not have to go to school and that we can go home?

We would check with the teachers the next morning how was she the previous day and the teachers would say that she was great and no problems at all, the same answer we would get from our helper everytime we asked her when she picks our kid from school. Our helper would say that she was very happy and smiley.

Thanks!

Bza
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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby mikomilo » Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:41 am

Listen to your daughter. My child was like that too. But my little one was initially enthusiastic about school and then suddenly say dowan to go school. Same thing, dun like the uniform - refuse to wear, dowan to eat, cry and whine all the way to school, etc. Also same, come home from school, very happy. Teachers say thay she had a good time always smiling. Now we found out too late that my child was tormented at the center. They can't talk too well at that age and some bad teachers exploit this weakness fully. Everyone in the center cover up for each other. I'm not saying that the same thing happended to your child. But the lesson I learnt painfully is to listen to them. They don't cry for no reason.

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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby slmkhoo » Thu Jan 17, 2013 10:54 am

There are also kids who cry at the beginning of the day even when they enjoy themselves in nursery. My younger daughter was one of them - at 2yo and 3yo, when starting at new places, she cried every day for a month! In both places, she actually enjoyed the places and once she got used to them, she would run in smiling. Since she was so young, we couldn't ask her to express her feelings clearly, but my guess is that she didn't feel 'at home' yet in that first month, and so she didn't like leaving the familiarity of home to go to a 'strange' place. Once past that phase, she was fine.

If you have ruled out all other possible causes for distress and you think your daughter is like mine, then the only thing to do is persevere. It's probably better to be matter-of-fact when you tell her to get ready for school etc and not be sympathetic or give any hint that you are worried. She may play up her crying if she thinks she can get sympathy or be let off for a day. If she won't walk, walk away out of her sight (but where you can still keep an eye on her). I wouldn't bother to carry her, and she will start to walk once she knows she is being left. Also, you could try to simplify the morning routine so there aren't so many things for her to object to. For eg, maybe don't shower in the morning? I used to let my kids sleep in their 'tomorrow' clothes to avoid changing in the morning, but that may not work with uniforms that need ironing.

slmkhoo
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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby Bza » Fri Jan 18, 2013 1:35 pm

Hi,

Firstly, would like to express my appreciation for attending to my query.

Prior to this nursery, during her playgroup classes she was also crying everyday when its about time to go to school. We took it as the case of seperation anxiety and we thought that its part of a kid growing up and going to school.

Even then we would prep her the night before, telling her that its fun to go to school as she learns new songs, colouring and other art lessons (with the works that she brought home). We praised her and told her that its very nice and that we would like to see more of it. During then, she only started crying after a couple of months attending the playgroup which got us puzzled but we managed to coax her and she attended the final few months without struggle.


But just this morning, she was cyring and screaming that she wanted to poop when we about to leave the house. Thing is she pooped the night before and even in this morning before we showered her. In fact, she wanted to shower as she feels its a norm before we go out. So we changed her into diapers and waited but she said she didn't want to poop (already wearing her uniform), then when we changed her back to her undies, after a while she screamed and cried that she wanted to poop again.

When we arrived at the school (with her crying all the way and being carried), we were outside and noticed that the teacher brought her in and out of the toilet, but the duration was too short for her to poop or even pee. We waited a while before we left for work when we saw her going to class with the rest of the classmates.

When I asked my helper whether she was happy when she came home and whether she pooped, my helper informed us that she was very happy, but did not poop. We do hope that it is just a phrase that she is going through just like her playgroup lessons. But at times, it is a bit nerve wrecking as both of us were already struggling to get to work on time.

Thanks!

Bza
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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby SAHM_TAN » Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:26 pm

Just a qn. You mentioned that when your dd wanted to poo you put her on diaper. May I know at home does she go to the physical potty or all biz done in diaper?

This might not apply to your case. Young kids may be very particular to routine. She might not like going to the toilet in school or something about the school. Once I changed dd1 to a new kindy. She told me she didn't like the place after a few days. The reasons were, the toilet doors cannot be locked and the snack is the same everyday. Heehee.

My bb is very particular abt routine too and she can get very upset.

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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby Bza » Fri Jan 18, 2013 2:59 pm

Hi,

She would have a good mix of potty and in diapers, but mostly on diapers to poo while potty is mainly for times when she is in slight difficulty. Her routine would also be before she sleeps at night as thats when we would tell her that she did well and would deserve a treat the next day.

During playgroup days, she would not want to use as she mentioned its not clean. But during the day of orientation of the nursery, we brought her to toilet and she was happy and said that it was clean and will use if have to. Also on couple of occasions my helper mentioned that she used the school toilet.

But understand that different routines could result in different outcomes for poo or pee even at the same location.

Thanks!

Bza
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Re: 3 Year Old Struggles When Going To Nursery

Postby Bza » Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:36 am

Hi,

Just want to share that for the past couple of days, my girl is fine and did not struggle when going to school! We were puzzled and amazed on how she behaved in such a short manner.

When she went to school yesterday, she saw her form teacher and she was very happy! She was smiling all the way and jumping around too! The form teacher was also very happy to see my girl behaving this way. During the cranky days, the form teacher wasn't in school which prompted us to ask my girl whether she is happy to see the form teacher and she was unhappy to go to school when the form teacher wasn't around. She said yes, she said she likes the form teacher but not her mother tongue teacher. Our only concern is how would she behave when the form teacher is not around again, but till then we shall not be overly concerned about it. Take a step as it comes.

Also, on Monday night my girl woke up twice calling for us but not in a crying state. When my wife went over to tend to her the first time (2plus am) and my wife heard one of the toys in the living room playing music. I heard it too when she called the 2nd time around 4plus am. So we thought that it could be my girl heard the music and woke, but when it was still dark my girl was confused about the timing and was thinking how come her younger brother was playing in the living (self assessment of the situation).

Thanks!

Bza
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