Mutilating self when stressed out

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Mutilating self when stressed out

Postby mommyellen » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:04 pm

Hi mommies and daddies,

My friend and I went for breakfast a few days ago. My friend is a mommy of 2 children, one of which is a 15-year-old dd. My friend told me that her dd has been stressing out over Secondary school life and has been poking herself with pencil lead and sometimes even chewing on her arm. She told me she saw a whole row of bite marks on her left arm and when she tried to find out the root of the problem, her daughter would not respond and sometimes even locks herself up in her room and would not come out.

I want to help my friend but I don't know how to. I tried suggesting to her to keep her company and chat with her but she told me she had tried that but received negative response.

Does anyone know how to help her?
Thanks in advance for your feedback. :?:

:D Ellen

mommyellen
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Postby flametree » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:12 pm

my teenagers told me a few of their classmates do that too.

i don't understand why do they subject themselves to that. dunno how to help too ...

pity their parents - must be very stress and lost!! just like their own kids!!

flametree
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Postby Guest » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:18 pm

Hi, I read this in the papers before...some even slit their wrists in worser cases. Please bring them to see a counsellor to help them. Meanwhile I try to see if I can get the article for your read.
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Postby mommyellen » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:23 pm

Thanks for the comments! (Lucky my friend's daughter doesnt slit her wrists!)

mommyellen
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Postby Guest » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:28 pm

This is one article published back in 2007 in Straits Times. This article did not uncover the actual reasons in detail why the teens are doing it, citing it more like a teen fashion but actually there are unlying issues that trigger this action.

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In following angsty fad, teens cut themselves and write about suicide BY SANDRA DAVIE EDUCATION CORRESPONDENT

IF YOU have teenage kids and have not heard of the latest teen fad "emo", it is time you looked it up.Shops catering to teens say this angst-filled youth sub-culture, called emo, short for "emotional", has been gathering a following here.It has also left youth counsellors worried if the fad is behind the increasing incidence of teenagers cutting their wrists.Emo fashion is characterised by teens wearing dark T-shirts, a little undersized or deliberately worn down to look old.Their choice of sneakers is Converse canvas shoes. Look closer and these might have words like "pain'' scribbled in red ink or a drawing of a broken heart.But the defining trademark for emo kids has to be the heavily lined eyes and long fringed hair which covers half their face.The point of that, said emo teen Mervyn Lee, 17, a polytechnic student, is because "we are tortured souls unable to face the world".Another tell-tale sign – they listen to angst-filled music from bands like Hawthorne Heights, Aiden, The Used, My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, which performed here earlier this month.Youth counsellors interviewed say they are worried that the fad, carried to extremes, can lead to self-mutilation or even suicidal thoughts.As it is, some emo teens have penned poems about suicide and death and slashing their wrists to "ease their pain''.The trend may be behind the increased incidence of teenagers injuring themselves.There have been no studies done on how prevalent self-injury is, but five youth counsellors interviewed said they have seen an alarming increase in their young charges cutting themselves.Anecdotally, it seems more common among girls, and they are getting younger.Just last month, The Straits Times reported that a group of 12-year-olds in an all-girls primary school made a collective pact and slashed their arms with penknives. The incident came to light after teachers discovered the scars the next morning. The girls were counselled and are being monitored.Said Dr Carol Balhetchet, Singapore Children's Society director of youth services: "It is okay for kids to follow a fashion. That is very normal. What is worrying is if they start blindly following the other things like cutting themselves and writing poems glorifying their suicide attempts.''Eight of 12 teens The Straits Times spoke to, who follow emo fashion, admitted as much.One, an 18-year-old girl from a junior college, said she started cutting herself out of curiosity after listening to songs by an emo rock band.She said she now does it weekly, but hides the scars from her doctor father and accountant mum.Another emo teen, an 18-year-old polytechnic boy, said it is part of the fashion."It's a form of expression, just like the poems I write. I will go mad if I can't, don't have these forms of release,'' he said.What is surprising is that most of these angst-filled teens come from stable homes, where their parents are professionals.When pressed, they admitted there were no issues that were really depressing.Parents seem clueless. One, Mrs Daisy Lim, 48, a businesswoman, said she had heard her daughter using the word "emo" but never realised it was a teen fad.Her 16-year-old daughter wears under-sized, worn-out tees over tight black jeans. On weekends, the Secondary 4 girl also wears two lip rings and six earrings on one ear alone.Mrs Lim recently discovered that her daughter cuts her wrists with a razor. She is trying to get her to seek help.But counsellors say parents should not overreact.Said Dr Balhetchet: "They should talk to the kids to find out the extent of it."If the child has taken the fad to the extent of harming himself, they should not panic and scream at the child. They should be open to listening him out."Then they will find it easier to persuade him to seek counselling
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Postby Sun_2010 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:36 pm

It is advisable to visit a child counselor

please read this site and judge the course of action.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775

IMHO, please help ur friend understand it is a solvable problem , something that needs to be sorted out for her daughters well being. the sooner the better.

U r one good friend for worrying abt her problem - thats what friends are for :celebrate:
Last edited by Sun_2010 on Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sun_2010
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Postby Guest » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:38 pm

This 2008 survey of the Singapore teens gives you an idea what are the issues bothering the teens.

Top 3 reasons:
1. academics is high on the list
2. identity issues
3. friendship issues

http://projectsday.hci.edu.sg/2008/15-F ... rveya.html
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Postby Guest » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:41 pm

Where to get help?

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS)
A non-profit, non-religious organisation that provides emotional support to those who are in despair or distressed.

Contact: 1800-221-4444, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Youthline
Run by Youth Challenge, a non-governmental organisation that champions youth causes.

Contact: 6336-3434, Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm.

Touchline
Run by Touch Community Services, a non-profit charitable organisation.

Contact: 1800-377-2252, Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm.

Teen Challenge
A voluntary welfare organisation that provides faith-based and community-based programmes and services.

Contact: 1800-829-2222, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm.

Pregnancy Crisis Service
Run by the Family Life Society, a non-profit counselling and educational organisation. Unwed teenagers who face unplanned, unwanted pregnancies can call for help.

Contact: 6339-9770, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Tinkle Friend
Run by the Singapore Children's Society. For those aged 12 and below.

Contact: 1800-274-4788, Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 11.30am, and 2.30pm to 5pm.

Audible Hearts
An online service run by the Health Promotion Board. Troubled youths who are too shy to talk over the phone can pour out their woes via e-mail to trained youth volunteers.

Website: audiblehearts.yah.sg

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/S ... 63340.html
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Postby jessnom » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:47 pm

i think this has become a more commmon problem than we realized. I remember i had a friend in secondary school who used to slash her upper arms. another case i know of is a single mum who was facing r/s issues, she slashed both arms, wrists and suicide attempts. i think when someone intentionally self-hurt, it's a silent cry of help. prob facing prob in sch, at home, bgr, etc and doesn't know how to deal with it. as an adult, many teen issues seem minute, but at that stage in life, everything seemed to be magnified. Does the girl have an aunt, cousin who she can confide in?

jessnom
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Postby Sun_2010 » Fri Aug 20, 2010 3:52 pm

ksi wrote:Where to get help?

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS)
A non-profit, non-religious organisation that provides emotional support to those who are in despair or distressed.

Contact: 1800-221-4444, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Youthline
Run by Youth Challenge, a non-governmental organisation that champions youth causes.

Contact: 6336-3434, Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm.

Touchline
Run by Touch Community Services, a non-profit charitable organisation.

Contact: 1800-377-2252, Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm.

Teen Challenge
A voluntary welfare organisation that provides faith-based and community-based programmes and services.

Contact: 1800-829-2222, Monday to Friday, 10am to 5pm.

Pregnancy Crisis Service
Run by the Family Life Society, a non-profit counselling and educational organisation. Unwed teenagers who face unplanned, unwanted pregnancies can call for help.

Contact: 6339-9770, 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Tinkle Friend
Run by the Singapore Children's Society. For those aged 12 and below.

Contact: 1800-274-4788, Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 11.30am, and 2.30pm to 5pm.

Audible Hearts
An online service run by the Health Promotion Board. Troubled youths who are too shy to talk over the phone can pour out their woes via e-mail to trained youth volunteers.

Website: audiblehearts.yah.sg

http://www.asiaone.com/News/Education/S ... 63340.html


This is such a comprehensive list.
Maybe this post should be posted under Health as a separate topic ??

Hellooo...Mods/Monitors,
err dont know the protocol but do look in here :pray:

Sun_2010
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