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Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2019 12:07 pm
by CerlynR
Communicate – Take the time to communicate to your loved one. Reassure them that you understand that depression is a disorder and not a personal failing. Let them know you don’t think they are weak, and that you know they are not choosing to feel the way they do. If you’re having trouble reframing, imagine how you would react if your spouse had a broken leg. Healing takes time, and you can’t force it.

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:27 pm
by janet88
recently, daughter started breaking down when school work is mentioned.
it so happened it was youth day holiday yesterday & I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. I brought her along and the psychiatrist gently asked her questions. she was in tears when asked how she is feeling. she is feeling stressed out over the heavy workload as well as the difficulty this year.
it's stressful for both of us because her mental wellbeing affects me and vice versa. i'm at a loss what to do.

the doctor advised me to bring her to the polyclinic for a referral to see a psychologist. we spent 3 hours waiting at the polyclinic. the doctor asked her questions like whether she would harm herself when stressed and whether she had problems sleeping. the wait list to see a psychologist at the govt hospitals is L-O-N-G. the earliest is in late September in the morning. i'm really at a loss now. if she doesn't get any revision done during the weekends, her weighted assessments will be gone! yet, I can't afford to let her be burnt out. it's driving me nuts :scared:

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 9:29 pm
by MrsKiasu
Janet :hugs: wellbeing of our kids comes first!

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:13 pm
by tryourbest
Ksptan wrote:
Sat Apr 06, 2019 7:06 pm
Constantly feeling tried after my teenager had a tonic clonic seizure when she was having a 1-to-1 consultation session with psychologist yesterday.

Yesterday afternoon, I had slept together with my girl (as she felt extremely tired and headache after an attack), and slept at 9pm at night.

This afternoon, took two 1 hour light nap, near where my girl is.

Now, I am still feeling restless, tired and sleepy. Am I mentally tired or depression?
Hope everything is better for u now. take care of yrself too! It's not easy for u... :hugs:

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:13 am
by lee_yl
Janet, just go ahead with the September appointment and see what the psychologist says.

I remember when I first started my Uni days, I wasn’t coping well with the school workload. Back then I was staying in school hostel and rarely went home. One day over the phone, my grandma asked me, “how are you, if can’t cope then drop the course and come back”. I burst into tears and my grandma also wept at the other end. It was indeed stressful to think of so much work to clear within timeframe. Feel like going back to my bed to hibernate. :smile:

Stress is inevitable but no choice lah, just have to bite the bullet and slowly clear module by module / weighted assignments

Maybe you can talk to your daughter’s teachers and see what they can share about your girl?

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:50 am
by Funz
Janet, your DD is in Sec 3? School workload is already rather heavy?

Sometimes they can feel overwhelmed even if the workload is manageable because they are in the midst of it. If possible, maybe you can help her look into it and help her break it down. You may also want to work out a different revision schedule with her. Even if you have a schedule, sometimes, throwing that schedule out of the window for that 1 day can help them relieve a lot of their stress and recharge them.

DS was at one point overwhelmed by all his responsibilities and workload. That was because he just kept thinking he has this and that and those and more of this and that to do. When I broke it all down for him he realised that it was actually all very manageable. Given his mental state at that time I also gave him assurance that it is ok to pick which are the assignments that he wants to fully work on and which to slack off on.

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 10:14 am
by MrsKiasu
Maybe let them knowing the option(s) available may help..

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 10:41 am
by MyPillow
MrsKiasu wrote:
Wed Jul 10, 2019 10:14 am
Maybe let them knowing the option(s) available may help..after reading on this issue, I asked dd this morning if she is stress..she says not stress but very stress..I told her that she has the option of going for the lesser, meeting minimum..now only psle.. then she says yeah she still have O level right..yeah to me!

My mom never stresses me on my studies and I dont push myself to achieve excellence .. life is a marathon.. From what I remember, I had quite a happy and relaxing life till I have my kids..all suddenly changed and few yrs back I broke down when talking to a doctor during normal checkup.. I think I m not as strong as I always thought but I m trying to be stronger by the days.. but then I m at this age.. our kids how old only, now already so stressful .. in future lei, at work, starts family, need care for older generation, think of own retirement, own health, another big challenge dunno wife or husband go first...etc etc.. try not to let them break at tender age if possible, they may not have experienced what life really is yet in order to convince them life is actually not like that. Just my humble opinion and I do really hope I could walk the talk too..let's jiayou..
if context is on academic - then its all about Expectations ! our parents may not study much , thus they din give us much stress during our younger days ... we bloom n grow naturally , we have childhood , youth n carefree!
we know the kids had already try their efforts to work hard , but still no tip top/ abv avg results - then we may need and try to take very big step back to zoom out the situation... not all kids is suitable for main stream route -there are jc, poly, ite - importantly is life skills and the right aptitude + attitude to walk life .

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 11:13 am
by Funz
I told kiddos before, I am not afraid to let them fail, Granted, failing does not feel good but it will not be the end of the world. What is scary is if they give up, that may well be the end of their world.

I think in Singapore we are too fixated with the timeline. 6yrs pr sch, 4/5 yrs sec sch, 2/3yrs JC/Poly, 4yrs uni to get honours (unless taking medicine). Why must stick to this timeline? So what if the kid needs an extra year or 2? So what if they step into the working world a few years later, they have a good 40 odd yrs to work. And no good in academics does not mean no good at work.

Re: Living with Depression

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:42 am
by janet88
Funz wrote:
Wed Jul 10, 2019 9:50 am
Janet, your DD is in Sec 3? School workload is already rather heavy?

Sometimes they can feel overwhelmed even if the workload is manageable because they are in the midst of it. If possible, maybe you can help her look into it and help her break it down. You may also want to work out a different revision schedule with her. Even if you have a schedule, sometimes, throwing that schedule out of the window for that 1 day can help them relieve a lot of their stress and recharge them.

DS was at one point overwhelmed by all his responsibilities and workload. That was because he just kept thinking he has this and that and those and more of this and that to do. When I broke it all down for him he realised that it was actually all very manageable. Given his mental state at that time I also gave him assurance that it is ok to pick which are the assignments that he wants to fully work on and which to slack off on.
Funz,
She is in sec 3.
I help her plan the schedule. after seeing the polyclinic doctor, I am at a loss even more.
She asked why some of her classmates are intelligent and do not have to study to get good results. honestly, I'm really very scared because she locked her door earlier. at bedtime she told me she called the hotline because she felt that life is meaningless.