KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

Hi. I first read about Asperger's Syndrome from this forum, from fluffy and 2ppaamm. Thanks to their posts, I started reading up on this.

I wonder if any parents with experience, including fluffy and 2ppaamm, can help me out?

My son is about 3.5 years old. He is an only child. He was started on childcare (half day) 3 months ago. He has not been to any playgroup or enrichment class prior to this. The feedback that I got from his teachers are as follows: very hyperactive (likes to roam around the classroom exploring cupboards etc during lessons), inattentive when teachers are teaching, lack of interaction with peers (much better with adults), lack of eye contact, clumsy, and finally, possibly has a photographic memory.

I wonder if these can be features of Asperger, or hyperactivity syndrome. Or is it still too early to diagnose these at this age?

For those mothers who have kids with Asperger, when did you suspect it?

Or is it our society's tendency to overlabel people? In the past, people would just say these kids were clumsy, or forgetful, or absent-minded, and leave it as that, right? And the kids would have learnt to cope with it eventually...

Any feedback is much appreciated.

Your boy sounds like mine. Same complains from teachers since he was 18mths old.

Solution by CCC [when he was still in playgroup, around 20mths old]: put him with Pre-Nursery or Nursery class. He paid attention because the stuff taught there was 'tougher' and more interesting. & he started to pick up social skills after a few months. Cos he's so used to being alone at home with all attention on him, it took a while to get used to interacting with other children.

Now he's attending a school with high academic focus and their syllabus is very advance. So far he's enjoying it alot.

It may not be that they have some 'disorder' but it might be that your boy needs higher level stimulation. Try talking to the school to see what they can arrange for your boy.

Thanks mrswongtuition for your tips. Btw I enjoy reading your posts because your experiences sound rather similar to some of mine. Furthermore your boy is just a few months younger, right?

I think that you may be correct. My son probably lacks social interaction with his peers, being an only child, and he usually has no playmates. I have noticed that he likes to observe other children, rather than joining them in their games. But I am also anxious as to whether there is any problem, as he appears so different from the other children in his class. Really hope that things are ok.

I had initially thought that an academic preschool would be too stressful for him and hence chose a play-based one. But as you say, that may not be suitable for him as I think he could be bored and under-challenged. Eg they are teaching his class to count from 1 to 20 this year when he can count to 1000 now! I did not hot-house him, he just pestered me to teach him a bit and he figured out the rest for himself.

I had spoken to the school principal who felt that he should remain in this level, as he is too immature and inattentive for the older classes.

Are you able to tell me which preschool your little son is in? You can pm me.

Also, do you give tuition to preschoolers?

EN wrote:
Oh, he just told me that sometime while in class listening to teacher or playing piano, he has "burst of light" pop up in his eyes which left him in daze for a few second before picking back where he has left.

EN, sorry I'm OT as well.

But this warrants attention. It might be SID, which is common or one of the symptoms of AS. Check out with the OT? My son has SID, and he describes it as PAIN, like a thousand needles poking in his ears, when sound of a CERTAIN frequency (not loudness) hit him. The boy might be suffering from some kind of pain without telling you and knowing it himself.

DS told me it's not painful. It's like a momentary blindness which makes him feel stun. The eg he gives me is like looking directly into a camera flash light. I will read up on SID to see if it is related.

Instead of guessing, I would like to encourage for you to take the first step to go to a polyclinic to ask for referral. I am not sure of the part if KK only accepts child below P1 but I do not think so.

Done so in January. I went to the polyclinic asking to be referred to KKH. I was later told that, only below P1, will be referred to KKH. The rest will be to CGC run by IMH. He is already been labelled as mild asperger but doctor asked me if I would like to drop the case since he is doing well in school & no other issues in social development. I wanted to pursue the case because I am worried how will he cope in the future? NS time especially being away from home for long.

Thanks for sharing the details. As what I can see, your children should displayed some "giftness" in them. But first of all, do you mind if I suggest to you that I think your son may have AS traits.

Not sure if you have missed this link:

http://www.sengifted.org/articles_couns ... rder.shtml

Quote from Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted:

For example, a lack of social or emotional reciprocity is characteristic of Asperger's Disorder while gifted children most often show a tremendous concern for others. They may not always know how to express it appropriately, but the concern is there.

I know ds shows concern, not only to his classmate that is recently being terrorize by his second language teacher but also to animals plight. I save him using the feeble excuse that he is a very sensitive boy. I shameless use the word asperger (he was loosely labelled when the doctor first met him). But ds wants to know if I managed to help save his friends as well.

In contrast, they may also show motor clumsiness, and a lack of motivation and attention for activities that would engage age-peers.

There's no motor clumsiness at all. He started writing at age 3 or 4. Just simply took a blank piece of paper (printer paper with no lines at all) & wrote A-Z in both big and small letters. Extremely neat. Everything done is precise. Comments noted in kindergarten on physical activities on hopping, running etc very well develop for his age.

My ex-colleagues also had two AS children, one is gifted in music (piano) and one is very crazy about science.

I was on the second meet up with the psychologist. At the end of the session, she posed me what is the talent that ds has. She gave me eg like music, art, math etc. I know what he has. There are several. Just need to pace it nicely for him. Otherwise, he will be a burnt out child.

You see, these children needs a lot of help from the surrounding people including the school. My girl received a lot of help from the teachers and classmates when she was in P1 and P2 which was very critical for her developement. I felt very fortunate that I managed to enrol her to a girl's school which I find its more suitable for her.

Yes, my daughter has been receiving a lot of help from teachers, classmate, myself and even ds as well. I so admire your tenacity in helping out your daughter.

En, I am very confused...so your son is not having AS? Isn't that good news? Still need to do more tests?

En, I am very confused...so your son is not having AS? Isn't that good news? Still need to do more tests?

I'm not sure too. 1st meet up in February, was very casual. I just need to answer the psychologist questions. Then at the end of an hour Q&A, she says, my son is mild asperger. But she had not even meet ds yet when she said that. I'm not very happy that he is being labelled asperger so, I request for a thorough test. How can just happily labelled someone just by 1 hour Q & A.

Then came the second test which was supposed to be done in August. But don't know how come we are so lucky that someone turn down an appointment slot & we got the second test in March.

Second test was more comprehensive. Both myself & dh were to sit through 4.5 hours of Q&A. The session was video taped, there was a glass panel & I was told that we will be observed by several people as well. At the same time, ds was put in another room to do ADOS, WISC & DISC. Not sure if there are more. Those are the ones stated on the invoice.

No result given at the end of the session. The psychologist told me there will be a panel of people that will be discussing my case. Want to know more? We all have to wait until end May for the verdict.

Wah...the first test sounded strange...and the labelling...hmmm...why so eager to conclude unless that is leading to more tests? If not, they might have stopped further tests?

Now like that also stressful hor? Wait 2 months for a verdict....hopefully they give you some good suggestions otherwise can prepare some rotten eggs in hand....

O, I am really not good with this KSP system. How do you guys know where is posted by who everywhere? I wished I knew. Always late.

First to soup: my son had to see the MOE EP because he ran into a series of problems in P2, and the school had to call the EP in. We first visited the psychologist because the school insisted he was ADHD which I knew he was not, because I read up quite a bit and I know my son. I was proven correct. I also told the EP he is more likely to have AS, since he has 5 out of 6 of the symptoms, but I am not sure. After 2 years of observing him, the EP agreed with me.

If the child is really AS, he needs intervention to help him. He is not capable of picking up social skills, not that he does not want. Up till today, I still have to repeatedly tell my son how to button his shirt. This sounds so strange, because he is doing secondary school maths. His social and motor skills just won't function well. You can tell him a zillion time not to say something, but he will still blah it out, and then felt bad and regret. He needs a lot of training just to do something a normal guy can without any help.

So, AS is a disability, and need help and intervention.

SID comes with AS, always. Depending on which sense is involved, can be audio, sight, touch , many will need help to deal with this sensitivity. Can be very painful to just touch them. A whole lot more symptoms here they are:

Social awkwardness / no friends

Obsessions / focused on one subject

Lack of eye contact

Sensitivity to noise / touch / feel of clothing

Slow to begin talking

Odd speech / extreme logic / very proper speech

Anger / aggression / hitting others

Craves ROUTINE!

Appears lost / in own world

Flapping hands

Communication problems or motor skills problems

Stimming behavior

Check them out for yourselves to see if your kid is asperger's. Sometimes, Asperger is called the 'price of a genius', because aspies are so intense and focussed, yes, they do come up with solutions that can heal the world.

That's how I console myself lah... in those moments DS did not get into trouble.

Here's how an aspie feels inside him:
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/fitting_in.htm

AS are also normally mistaken for poor parenting.

Basically, the child just wants to fit in. So friends, whether or not you have an aspie, when you see a child behaving weird, socially poor or even abusive, give another chance, he could be wanting to fit in without knowing or without the relevant skills to know how.

I often ask myself this, if my child who can do sec school maths since 8 is not asking your 12 year old why he can't, then can you please give him a chance and understand why he cannot understand the expression on your face? He doesn't know you are angry...

Wah...the first test sounded strange...and the labelling...hmmm...why so eager to conclude unless that is leading to more tests? If not, they might have stopped further tests?

1st test cost only $25. Short Q&A. Their main aim, no issue in school, can drop the case. But why label when it's done very sloppily? Dont forget that his file will be shared to school so that teachers & school will be notified.

Now like that also stressful hor? Wait 2 months for a verdict....hopefully they give you some good suggestions otherwise can prepare some rotten eggs in hand....

I'm like when I heard, the earliest will be 2 months time. Based on the Q&A, I think he flung the asperger test. Almost all the questions are no. The Q&A are definitely more suitable for dd.