KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

I dunno where to put up this thread so put in the chit chat corner.haha.

Hub came back yesterday 5pm drunk. it's his friend's wedding and it was a lunch. Hub is known for drinking much, and very often, you will see that his lunch/dinner often accompany by a (or many) glass of wine or beer. even eating chicken curry. if japanese meal, then it will be sake. dun get me wrong, he isn't a ah beng who only know how to drink, but drinking to him is similiar to drinking plain water. sometimes he said that he is thirsty and he will grab a beer from fridge.

I was super angry yesterday, becuase I hate drunkard. very very very much. when I was young, my pa often came back drunk, threw things and hit TV, beat up mum, etc. of cos Hub dun do that lah.

anyway, I was very angry last nite, and I stomped out of the house IMMEDIATELY and didn't came back after 11pm.
I walked on the street alone, thinking. I dun think I can tolerate this anymore. so I came back and initiated a divorce.

He was sorry but said that it's a common thing to get drunk. so you can imagine how angry I was! this guy came back drunk and yet said such thing! :x :x :x

I asked him how would he feel if I was the one drunk, he can even tell me, how can you compare a man and a woman??
:x :x :x

smurf wrote: anyway, I was very angry last nite, and I stomped out of the house IMMEDIATELY and didn't came back after 11pm.
I walked on the street alone, thinking. I dun think I can tolerate this anymore. so I came back and initiated a divorce.

smurf,
I normally stay away from touchy threads. But I just thought that initiating a divorce cos dh came home drunk in the afternoon is taking it a tad too far. Two wrongs don't make one right. If like tat, then 99% of married couples will eventually divorce. The remaining 1% can't divorce cos one side is already deceased. Just make dh knee on durian tusks lah (just joking)

markfch wrote:... Just make dh knee on durian tusks lah (just joking)

Erm markfch, do you mean husks?

Hugs to you, smurf. It must have been very difficult for you.

A divorce doesn't solve things - it may create more issues because you have kids. Consider the other parts of your husband that you love, eg he's a considerate husband and loving father. How about you guys talk it over and come up with an agreement. Emphasize to him your fears for him, like health fears, and make sure he promises you that he doesn't drink and drive. You may want him to agree to keep his drinking to specific days of the week/mth. In other words, try to work it so that this drinking habit is more tolerable for you.

Dh and I used to drink quite a bit - we had a lot of friends who loved wine, and it was always very social. But after DS came, we just naturally got tired of it. I insisted on no driving if we went drinking, and that didn't go down well with DH at first. But I kept pointing out to accidents, and luckily the message sank in.

cmm wrote:

markfch wrote:... Just make dh knee on durian tusks lah (just joking)

Erm markfch, do you mean husks?

Yes, husk it is My sarcastic ds will say 'You mean durian can grow tusks? Can you show me, pleeease.'

markfch wrote:But I just thought that initiating a divorce cos dh came home drunk in the afternoon is taking it a tad too far.

i am guessing that this incident is the final straw that broke the camel's back.
in any case, smurf, you are a sahm. you need to think through how are you going to move on if you have already decided.

huggss...smurf....hope you are feeling better now...

Do talk to your hubby on some house rules on drinking...e.g. limits drinking so he dhoesn't get drunk....etc.... may be there are ways around this problem...

Thanks mummies (and daddies) for sharing.

have resolved the problem...I really hate drunkards...because when young, I witnessed my dad coming home drunk, beat us, hit my mum, smashed this smashed that...which i why I utterly hate drunkards.

anyway, he has promised not to drink again, but I'm just going to give another chance. but no excessive drinking anymore is my rule. as I super hate drunkard. :x

to me, drinking until drunk is a very dangerous thing to do, imagine you are alone, drunk?? what would happen? there are so many bad people out there. regardless whether you are a man or woman, same thing la.

smurf wrote:Thanks mummies (and daddies) for sharing.

have resolved the problem...I really hate drunkards...because when young, I witnessed my dad coming home drunk, beat us, hit my mum, smashed this smashed that...which i why I utterly hate drunkards.

anyway, he has promised not to drink again, but I'm just going to give another chance. but no excessive drinking anymore is my rule. as I super hate drunkard. :x

to me, drinking until drunk is a very dangerous thing to do, imagine you are alone, drunk?? what would happen? there are so many bad people out there. regardless whether you are a man or woman, same thing la.

I think I speak for eveybody here that we collectively heaved a sigh of relief to know that things managed to work out well You know, I wanted to use the 'celebrate' icon but then saw those beer mugs, not so appropriate haha

smurf wrote:I dunno where to put up this thread so put in the chit chat corner.haha.

Hub came back yesterday 5pm drunk. it's his friend's wedding and it was a lunch. Hub is known for drinking much, and very often, you will see that his lunch/dinner often accompany by a (or many) glass of wine or beer. even eating chicken curry. if japanese meal, then it will be sake. dun get me wrong, he isn't a ah beng who only know how to drink, but drinking to him is similiar to drinking plain water. sometimes he said that he is thirsty and he will grab a beer from fridge.

I was super angry yesterday, becuase I hate drunkard. very very very much. when I was young, my pa often came back drunk, threw things and hit TV, beat up mum, etc. of cos Hub dun do that lah.

anyway, I was very angry last nite, and I stomped out of the house IMMEDIATELY and didn't came back after 11pm.
I walked on the street alone, thinking. I dun think I can tolerate this anymore. so I came back and initiated a divorce.

He was sorry but said that it's a common thing to get drunk. so you can imagine how angry I was! this guy came back drunk and yet said such thing! :x :x :x

I asked him how would he feel if I was the one drunk, he can even tell me, how can you compare a man and a woman??
:x :x :x

Wives get drunk with their fury tempers without alcohol. Give a chance to your hubby.

If he always gets drunk, time to think for yourself and your children. A drunkard will always find excuses and reasons to get a drink. Only YOU, Yourself will know the truth if he falls in this category. Can you tolerate his behaviors? If your answer is Yes, you have to tolerate, right? If your answer is NO. Divorce him! Think first before you do this. Can your monthly salary support yourself and your household? Don’t ever think that you will get a big payout from him if your hubby is not earning much. Calculate the cost. Cruel for being so calcultative??? NOPE, think of your children and yourself if you have to walk this path. I am a very realistic person, and sorry if I sounded cruel. I don’t mean it this way at all.

I will never ask to compare myself with him, because I don’t get myself drunk. What’s the point of asking a person who drinks ‘If I was the one drunk.’?? Can’t help my laughing with such answer from him. Haha! 

I drink, but not my hub. A capful of DOM a night to a non-drinker, is a drunkard. Think for yourself and only you will know your hubby’s drinking habits. Good luck! ;-)