Do you resent your husband spending money on his family?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Yes, I do resent him spending money on them

No, I don't mind
30
71%
Yes, I do mind
12
29%
 
Total votes : 42

Do you resent your husband spending money on his family?

Postby LOLMum » Tue Nov 02, 2010 12:45 am

Regardless of how bad or nice the in-laws are, do you resent him spending money on them? Well, it may not be a request from them but rather the husband want to or doesn't mind paying for the expenses.

DH's mum and siblings live in other countries. We always have them staying with us whenever they are in town. DH doesn't mind paying for any expenses incurred by his mum (be it medical or pleasure) even if there is a common fund pool to pay for these expenses. He would sometimes pay for some expenses incurred by his siblings. Not 4 digits amount of course.

Occassionally, he would buy things for his siblings, nieces and nephews.
I never ask him how much he give to his mum monthly, birthday or cny angpows for his family.

I have never had an issue with him spending $ on his family and I don't know why and I don't think I should.

Maybe because I am spending his $ on my family as well. :lol: :lol: :lol:

What about you.

LOLMum
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Fri Feb 19, 2010 7:25 pm
Total Likes: 1


Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:17 am

if it is within affordability, and if it is not excessive, it is also a form of care and love, and to a certain extent, is an object lessons for your own children.....as they see they parents "take care" of the parents' parents, they will have the same value / same thinking when they grow up and and when you grow old

this kind of teaching can't be bought with money

we are not the kind of western value where the children ignore their parents on the street as strangers and call them by name at home
verykiasu2010
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 11696
Joined: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:06 pm
Total Likes: 2


Postby peterch » Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:25 am

verykiasu2010 wrote:if it is within affordability, and if it is not excessive, it is also a form of care and love, and to a certain extent, is an object lessons for your own children.....as they see they parents "take care" of the parents' parents, they will have the same value / same thinking when they grow up and and when you grow old

this kind of teaching can't be bought with money

we are not the kind of western value where the children ignore their parents on the street as strangers and call them by name at home


Agree...... that's part of life values......

peterch
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 643
Joined: Mon Aug 03, 2009 10:03 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby starlight1968sg » Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:25 am

If is not too much, then I usually close one eye. Afterall, he is using his own money. If I spend $$ on my family and he resents, I will be :x

starlight1968sg
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 10119
Joined: Mon Nov 16, 2009 8:43 am
Total Likes: 23


Postby verykiasu2010 » Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:37 am

starlight1968sg wrote:If is not too much, then I usually close one eye. Afterall, he is using his own money. If I spend $$ on my family and he resents, I will be :x


for us it is not his money or her money

it is our family 'wealth' or family resources

both sides have ageing parents and we budget for what we may need to spend on them
verykiasu2010
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 11696
Joined: Mon Jan 04, 2010 11:06 pm
Total Likes: 2



Re: Do you resent your husband spending money on his family?

Postby 3Boys » Tue Nov 02, 2010 8:49 am

LOLMum wrote:Regardless of how bad or nice the in-laws are, do you resent him spending money on them? Well, it may not be a request from them but rather the husband want to or doesn't mind paying for the expenses.

DH's mum and siblings live in other countries. We always have them staying with us whenever they are in town. DH doesn't mind paying for any expenses incurred by his mum (be it medical or pleasure) even if there is a common fund pool to pay for these expenses. He would sometimes pay for some expenses incurred by his siblings. Not 4 digits amount of course.

Occassionally, he would buy things for his siblings, nieces and nephews.
I never ask him how much he give to his mum monthly, birthday or cny angpows for his family.

I have never had an issue with him spending $ on his family and I don't know why and I don't think I should.

Maybe because I am spending his $ on my family as well. :lol: :lol: :lol:

What about you.


If its his expression of piety to his parents, then one should not get in the way. Needs to be within reason of course.

3Boys
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 5014
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:28 pm
Total Likes: 220


Postby Guest » Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:25 am

No, he is first a son, then a husband, then a dad.
Guest
 

Postby duriz » Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:34 am

ksi wrote:No, he is first a son, then a husband, then a dad.


:goodpost:

I second that.

And I also agree with vk2010, as long as it's within our means.

duriz
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 2282
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 1:16 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby RRMummy » Tue Nov 02, 2010 10:22 am

duriz wrote:
ksi wrote:No, he is first a son, then a husband, then a dad.


:goodpost:

I second that.

And I also agree with vk2010, as long as it's within our means.


I third all that :celebrate:

RRMummy
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 4931
Joined: Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:06 pm
Total Likes: 9


Postby autumnbronze » Tue Nov 02, 2010 11:21 am

No, I don't.

I respect him for that.

Even when we all go out for meals as an extended family, and that his two brothers can well afford to pay for them.

If it makes him happy, it makes me happy :love:

I have never questioned how much he gives them every month as well.

autumnbronze
Councillor
Councillor
 
Posts: 11856
Joined: Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:54 pm
Total Likes: 63


Next

Return to Relationships