not on talking terms with hubby

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

not on talking terms with hubby

Postby tracytmks » Sun Dec 26, 2010 2:57 pm

feel very frust n stressful wenever he is at hm. he not fit to b call as daddy he all these years he never contribute a single cents for my kids education milk powder, pampers etc. dont think he is fits to b call as daddy for my child. feel so much being cheated by him ao stupid of me to believe him. now i was drag into it n owe the banks some sum of money. he promise this year end can pay me some money til now nothing never ever believe in him again. anyone like to share their experience

tracytmks
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Postby tracytmks » Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:02 pm

me so sad the man didnt contribute for the kids sch fee n they still play with him me very the not happy

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Postby dolphinsiah » Thu Dec 30, 2010 5:39 pm

Hi! Tracy,

I feel your pain...cause I am in the same suitation...but I think worst then you now... :(

My Spouse do not contribute to bringing up my 2 girls....
Silly me exhausted all my hard work savings.... :cry:

Always think that when the girls grow up , I will have my freedom...
So I endure and endure.... :|

Now he is VERY SICK and a WEAK man....diagnose with Cancer....
So I have to take Care of him and endure all his nonsense... :pokeeye:

He now renew his faith in Christ....and every now and then accuses me for his Sickness ...because I refuse to convert to a Christian....
He claims the Buddha I am praying is DEvil...causing him to be Sick...and his GOD is not answering his prayers.... :frustrated:



See how I feel, I was so fed up....I told his mother to take care of him....
I wanted OUT.... :gloomy:

His mother and siblings pleaded no....

As a rational lady....I told myself ....now I have to endure more until he is well...then we can part our ways.... :imconstipated:
Tell me ....how do you live with a person who accusses you for his Sickness...and your reglion is Devil.... :?:

To Cheer myself up....I always think of those people in th THIRD World....
then I feel I am still fortunate.... :shock:

If not I already in Mental Hospital.... :siao:
I always tell myself , I am now serving my Karma.... :pray:

If I can turn back the clock...I will not marry .....

dolphinsiah
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Postby tankee » Thu Dec 30, 2010 5:46 pm

it is VERY stressful to care for a very ill person and may unknowningly fall into state of depression.

do keep your emotion in check and take care !

hang in there ! :D

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Postby tracytmks » Fri Dec 31, 2010 7:27 am

Hi doplinsiah

ur situation is worst then mine, i really admire ur endurance. so r u working now if not ur 2 kids education how?

how can he accuse u like tt i tot christianity ppl will be more calm, patient.

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Postby dolphinsiah » Fri Dec 31, 2010 8:25 pm

Yes, I am still working ...everyday ...I am like a MAD LADY.... :imdrowning:
If not where to get money....spouse has lots of $$$...
but will not share.... :moneyflies:
I wish I have more than 24 hours each day....

I always put my family interest above mine.... :grphug:

But after all I am a human being, so doing all these sometimes make me very depressed....and angry with life.... :stupid:

Tell me how do you feel as a NON-Christian, when you slaught for the family...like now:

A)Spouse diagnose with Cancer since 2009 ....Instead of thanking His Lord for giving him a good Wife for taking Care of him...
He said it is GOD who healed HIM....
GOD did mircale to him.... :siao:

What about the DOCs who cure him....???
Who empty his bag of Shit when he had to carry a temporay bag of excretion...???GOD???
Who sponge him when he has high temperature??? GOD???
Who went to search for medication when his tongue is infected with uclers and fungus...??/GOD???
Who goes to the market early morning to ensure he gets fresh food....???God??
Who accompany him for his medical appointments???...GOD...

I tired of HOW GREAT he think of his GOD.... :rant:

IF I do not do above endless things/tasks for him...he thinks he can get well?
Somtimes I feel like running away...and LET his GOD handle it... :P

NOW I just want to nurse him back....and WE Get go our separate way.... :pray:

Throughout the 18 years of marriage....I cannot think of anything Great he has done for me.... :shock:

I am always the GIVER ...and he is the RECEIVER... :x
He is obesses with his money and now HIS MIGHTLY GOD.... :|
HE is willing to wake up early to serve GOD , instead of help me run daily errands.... :stupid:

I just so TIRED and FED UP.... :faint:

But as a Buddhist , I know it is not RIGHT to leave him now.... :siam:

But it is important to let his mother and all his siblings know why I refused to convert to Christian.... :?:

What he has done to me did not touch me to convert to Christian....
All he has given me is mental torturing... :pokeeye:

I told his Family members , I am a time BOMB ...anytime can explode... :slapshead:

For now , I can endure...I endure...I never quarrel with him...my GIRLS know my sufferings... :imconstipated:

I told them learned from Mummy mistakes and do not repeat....
:hugs:

dolphinsiah
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Postby 3Boys » Sat Jan 01, 2011 9:22 am

dolphinsiah,
have you ever shared your feelings with your husband the way you share them on this forum?

You may need to hold him accountable and demand due consideration from him. In the Christian tradition, husbands are commanded to love their wives, demand that love and respect from him that you deserve.

I am sorry for your situation, it makes for painful reading. You are understandably bitter, but I hope you do not put your daughters off relationships and marriage because of your own experience, I can why their psyche may be damaged by what they see and hear.

3Boys
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Postby dolphinsiah » Sat Jan 01, 2011 11:31 am

Good morning Insider,

How to make demand from him... :?

a)When he think I am a SIN...being a NON Christian
b)Before he is SICK ...he takes me for granted.... :x
Just care for himself /Golf/Expensive and Branded Stuffs... :|



So how to communicate....
:cry:

dolphinsiah
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Re: not on talking terms with hubby

Postby peterch » Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:20 pm

tracytmks wrote:feel very frust n stressful wenever he is at hm. he not fit to b call as daddy he all these years he never contribute a single cents for my kids education milk powder, pampers etc. dont think he is fits to b call as daddy for my child. feel so much being cheated by him ao stupid of me to believe him. now i was drag into it n owe the banks some sum of money. he promise this year end can pay me some money til now nothing never ever believe in him again. anyone like to share their experience


Hi,

I know how u feel, cause I happened to be in your husband state a few years back. Cause I got cheated and heavily in debt.

U didn't share with us about your hubby job or situation that cause this. And I don't get the part that u were drag into.

Our prayer be with u. Just be strong, your child need u at most now.

Regards

peterch
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Postby peterch » Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:45 pm

dolphinsiah wrote:A)Spouse diagnose with Cancer since 2009 ....Instead of thanking His Lord for giving him a good Wife for taking Care of him...
He said it is GOD who healed HIM....
GOD did mircale to him.... :siao:


Christians believe in GOD's miracle and miracles happened to those who believed in HIM. But I don't want to argue about this :D

What about the DOCs who cure him....???
Who empty his bag of Shit when he had to carry a temporay bag of excretion...???GOD???
Who sponge him when he has high temperature??? GOD???
Who went to search for medication when his tongue is infected with uclers and fungus...??/GOD???
Who goes to the market early morning to ensure he gets fresh food....???God??
Who accompany him for his medical appointments???...GOD...

I tired of HOW GREAT he think of his GOD.... :rant:

IF I do not do above endless things/tasks for him...he thinks he can get well?
Somtimes I feel like running away...and LET his GOD handle it... :P

NOW I just want to nurse him back....and WE Get go our separate way.... :pray:

Throughout the 18 years of marriage....I cannot think of anything Great he has done for me.... :shock:

I am always the GIVER ...and he is the RECEIVER... :x
He is obesses with his money and now HIS MIGHTLY GOD.... :|
HE is willing to wake up early to serve GOD , instead of help me run daily errands.... :stupid:

I just so TIRED and FED UP.... :faint:


At these parts....... I think your hubby didn't really learn about a real christianity or maybe he didn't get a chance to learn more

About the DOCS, I may say that God do the miracles thru their skills BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE is GOD SENT YOU AS HIS WIFE 18 YEARS AGO. You are a strong lady and really, I think everyone in KSP would agree with me.

But as a Buddhist , I know it is not RIGHT to leave him now.... :siam:


This the PROOF that you are strong and you are MORE CHRISTIAN than some of those who claim that they are christians


What he has done to me did not touch me to convert to Christian....
All he has given me is mental torturing... :pokeeye:


I think you do not need to convert. As a christian we are taught to live as alike as Jesus. And it's not easy at all.

With the quality you've got. You are doing of what actually Jesus asked His followers to do.


For now , I can endure...I endure...I never quarrel with him...my GIRLS know my sufferings... :imconstipated:

I told them learned from Mummy mistakes and do not repeat....
:hugs:

For this, please really please be wise... You may ask them to learn from your mistake, but please don't let them learn to hate their father. He is still their father, right?


Praying for you and family. May one day to come all of you be healed and live in peace and harmony as you plan 18 years ago. :pray:

peterch
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