Cannot understand - Diff on approach over Sec Sch issue

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Cannot understand - Diff on approach over Sec Sch issue

Postby totemlim » Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:13 pm

My dear wife and I had a late night argument that left both of us frustrated as we really cannot see eye-to-eye on this one... I just want to have 3rd party perspective on this. Perhaps I really don't understand something...

Ok, the argument... my wife made a remark "there is no good secondary school near our place!"

My thoughts on this:
- it doesn't matter there is no good sec school near our place
- what matters are the PSLE results. Even if there are good schools nearby, if results no good also meaningless
- if results are good, she can go any school she wants
- no doubt we won't want to put her to a school that's too far, but moderate distance is OK by me

Her thoughts:
- when we need to put down 1st/2nd choice, there are no good schools near our place
- we can't send our child to a school that's too far away. Sec school activities are quite busy

Any comments?

totemlim
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:02 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby 3Boys » Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:20 pm

The last thing you want to do is have a logical argument with your wife :lol: :lol:

But seriously, you've possibly broken it down too clinically. Yes, the primary issue is the PSLE result, after which all else can be worked out. However, your wife already has aspirations for your child, and is planning a further step ahead. I.e. she is already thinking that your place of residence will constrain your child's academic pursuits. Just start from there, and work out hypothetical scenarios of how to deal with the eventuality of your daughter doing brilliantly.....

My 2 cents

3Boys
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 5014
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:28 pm
Total Likes: 220


Re: Cannot understand

Postby titank » Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:54 pm

totemlim wrote:My dear wife and I had a late night argument that left both of us frustrated as we really cannot see eye-to-eye on this one... I just want to have 3rd party perspective on this. Perhaps I really don't understand something...

Ok, the argument... my wife made a remark "there is no good secondary school near our place!"

My thoughts on this:
- it doesn't matter there is no good sec school near our place
- what matters are the PSLE results. Even if there are good schools nearby, if results no good also meaningless
- if results are good, she can go any school she wants
- no doubt we won't want to put her to a school that's too far, but moderate distance is OK by me

Her thoughts:
- when we need to put down 1st/2nd choice, there are no good schools near our place
- we can't send our child to a school that's too far away. Sec school activities are quite busy

Any comments?


So simple, ask your wife list down the top 5 choice of seconday schools. Wait for the PSLE results then say. If really the secondary school is far, then the kid have to train to take public transport by means of MRT or SBS buses.

List out the good secondary schools in terms of 1Km to 10Km!

titank
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 3977
Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 12:56 am
Total Likes: 4


Postby totemlim » Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:10 am

Thanks for the advise, both of you. :)
I do agree I'd broken it down too clinically... now the way you described, I can accept that.

totemlim
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:02 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby Herbie » Mon Jan 24, 2011 9:04 am

Hi, PSLE result will decide which sec sch to go to... as parnets we can plan but it really depends on the kids performance at PSLE.

Like wat titank has suggested, list down thegood sec schools of yr choice and categorised them based on distance from home.

Cheers!

Herbie
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 1644
Joined: Fri Oct 30, 2009 10:48 am
Total Likes: 0



Postby ppnqq » Mon Jan 24, 2011 1:04 pm

Yes, no need to be so heat up over such thing. Do not ruin the relationship because of this 'part and parcel' of life. Afterall, your wife is just trying to do some planning for YOUR child. :D

And yes, like what the rest had suggested, do plan.

I would suggest to plan for TWO lists. One, the few good sec sch which both your child and your wife prefer to go to - IF your child manages to get really good results. Congrats.

2nd one (the 'contingency' list, just in case :xedfingers: ), list all the average, still-not-too-bad sec sch which both your child and wife find it acceptable - IF your child manages to get average results. Not too bad after all!

Sorry, I do not purposely meant to leave you out when I mentioned about getting your child and wife to list the sec schs but from what you had mentioned earlier on, I thought you are ok with any sch. If no, ok, then the THREE of you shall discuss AMICABLY on the choices of schs. Lol. :wink:

ppnqq
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 688
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:35 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby totemlim » Mon Jan 24, 2011 11:50 pm

Thanks! You guys offer a rational voice, and I appreciate it. :)

totemlim
KiasuNewbie
KiasuNewbie
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:02 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby Nebbermind » Tue Jan 25, 2011 11:31 am

Another thing, do not omit your child in the discussion of school selection. How he/she feel is very important!!

Nebbermind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 14663
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:40 am
Total Likes: 148


Postby ppnqq » Tue Jan 25, 2011 12:05 pm

Nebbermind wrote:Another thing, do not omit your child in the discussion of school selection. How he/she feel is very important!!


Yah, it is also very important to respect your child's view. After all, he is the one attending the school, not the parents! :cheeky:

ppnqq
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 688
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:35 am
Total Likes: 0


Postby Nebbermind » Wed Jan 26, 2011 11:47 am

I know coz my boy did not go to the school we wanted him to...and he seems to enjoy school alot more now!! :D

Nebbermind
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 14663
Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 11:40 am
Total Likes: 148


Next

Return to Relationships