KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

My dear wife and I had a late night argument that left both of us frustrated as we really cannot see eye-to-eye on this one... I just want to have 3rd party perspective on this. Perhaps I really don't understand something...

Ok, the argument... my wife made a remark "there is no good secondary school near our place!"

My thoughts on this:
- it doesn't matter there is no good sec school near our place
- what matters are the PSLE results. Even if there are good schools nearby, if results no good also meaningless
- if results are good, she can go any school she wants
- no doubt we won't want to put her to a school that's too far, but moderate distance is OK by me

Her thoughts:
- when we need to put down 1st/2nd choice, there are no good schools near our place
- we can't send our child to a school that's too far away. Sec school activities are quite busy

Any comments?

The last thing you want to do is have a logical argument with your wife

But seriously, you've possibly broken it down too clinically. Yes, the primary issue is the PSLE result, after which all else can be worked out. However, your wife already has aspirations for your child, and is planning a further step ahead. I.e. she is already thinking that your place of residence will constrain your child's academic pursuits. Just start from there, and work out hypothetical scenarios of how to deal with the eventuality of your daughter doing brilliantly.....

My 2 cents

totemlim wrote:My dear wife and I had a late night argument that left both of us frustrated as we really cannot see eye-to-eye on this one... I just want to have 3rd party perspective on this. Perhaps I really don't understand something...

Ok, the argument... my wife made a remark "there is no good secondary school near our place!"

My thoughts on this:
- it doesn't matter there is no good sec school near our place
- what matters are the PSLE results. Even if there are good schools nearby, if results no good also meaningless
- if results are good, she can go any school she wants
- no doubt we won't want to put her to a school that's too far, but moderate distance is OK by me

Her thoughts:
- when we need to put down 1st/2nd choice, there are no good schools near our place
- we can't send our child to a school that's too far away. Sec school activities are quite busy

Any comments?

So simple, ask your wife list down the top 5 choice of seconday schools. Wait for the PSLE results then say. If really the secondary school is far, then the kid have to train to take public transport by means of MRT or SBS buses.

List out the good secondary schools in terms of 1Km to 10Km!

Thanks for the advise, both of you.
I do agree I'd broken it down too clinically... now the way you described, I can accept that.

Hi, PSLE result will decide which sec sch to go to... as parnets we can plan but it really depends on the kids performance at PSLE.

Like wat titank has suggested, list down thegood sec schools of yr choice and categorised them based on distance from home.

Cheers!

Yes, no need to be so heat up over such thing. Do not ruin the relationship because of this 'part and parcel' of life. Afterall, your wife is just trying to do some planning for YOUR child.

And yes, like what the rest had suggested, do plan.

I would suggest to plan for TWO lists. One, the few good sec sch which both your child and your wife prefer to go to - IF your child manages to get really good results. Congrats.

2nd one (the 'contingency' list, just in case ), list all the average, still-not-too-bad sec sch which both your child and wife find it acceptable - IF your child manages to get average results. Not too bad after all!

Sorry, I do not purposely meant to leave you out when I mentioned about getting your child and wife to list the sec schs but from what you had mentioned earlier on, I thought you are ok with any sch. If no, ok, then the THREE of you shall discuss AMICABLY on the choices of schs. Lol.

Thanks! You guys offer a rational voice, and I appreciate it.

Another thing, do not omit your child in the discussion of school selection. How he/she feel is very important!!

Nebbermind wrote:Another thing, do not omit your child in the discussion of school selection. How he/she feel is very important!!

Yah, it is also very important to respect your child's view. After all, he is the one attending the school, not the parents!

I know coz my boy did not go to the school we wanted him to...and he seems to enjoy school alot more now!!