How to get along well with my four children

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

How to get along well with my four children

Postby sotongmom76 » Tue Feb 08, 2011 1:24 pm

I'm a single mother with four children, 3 boys and a girl.

I used to get along well with my children as I don't have to work when I havn't divorced.

Now I've to work two jobs in order to cover up the expenses. The children are looking after themselves.

But I felt that something really changed in my eldest son, aged 13 going to 14 since his dad had beaten us up badly.

We used to talk everything, but now, he don't talk to me. I felt that he is stress, but whenever I ask him, he said he's not.

My eldest is getting more inpatient with his sildings. Once, they had a fight among themselves. What can I do? I can only sit down there and cried.

Now he just interested on internet. He goes to school everyday and he said he loves going to schoo. Last year, he was bully by a China boy and I knew that he has no friends in school but just 1 or 2 close by friends.

My third son couldn't get along well with his youngest sister. We all know that he don't like his sister at all.

Is it true that children are getting more diffcult to teach? I tried to teach them, scolding...caning....talking....but ends up nothing.

They lied to me too.

Sometimes I really gonna to give up everything.

sotongmom76
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:15 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby Chenonceau » Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:21 pm

sotongmom76
Your story is very heartbreaking. I have no words of advice... and hope that some words of comfort may help?

Don't give up on your kids. They have only you. Don't scold. Don't cane. Everyone is in pain together.When children are in pain, they do naughty things. But you're also in pain and you have 2 jobs. It must be difficult for you.

I am sure your kids love you but they dunno how to show it. Be courageous and strong. Could you perhaps draw strength from the love your children have for you, and forgive them their little transgressions? They lie and have disappointed you but don't lose heart. They need you and you need them.

All the best.

Chenonceau
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 4872
Joined: Fri Dec 10, 2010 11:57 pm
Total Likes: 19


Postby 3Boys » Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:31 pm

sotongmum,
it is painful to read, sorry for your situation

Stay strong for your children. Your eldest is old enough to have some understanding of the situation, he is probably resentful that his cosy life is somewhat disrupted, plus the tweens are a tough period anyway. You possibly need to sit him down and have a heart to heart and get him to cooperate. He possibly needs a strong male figure in his life to mentor a little. Is there any family support network you can call upon?

3Boys
KiasuGrandMaster
KiasuGrandMaster
 
Posts: 5014
Joined: Tue Sep 02, 2008 5:28 pm
Total Likes: 220


Postby tankee » Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:39 pm

Hi

Stay strong and don't give up !

I did a google and found this single parent support group.

Perhaps you could give them a call and see if they can help in any way.

http://helpfsc.org.sg/Prognserv/spsg.htm

tankee
Site Admin
 
Posts: 17790
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2009 4:04 pm
Location: Singapore
Total Likes: 18


Postby sotongmom76 » Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:50 pm

tankee wrote:Hi

Stay strong and don't give up !

I did a google and found this single parent support group.

Perhaps you could give them a call and see if they can help in any way.

http://helpfsc.org.sg/Prognserv/spsg.htm



Thank you...I've tried the single parent support group but they couldn't help me because my children are Malaysians.

sotongmom76
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:15 pm
Total Likes: 0



Postby sotongmom76 » Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:53 pm

:D Hi all,

Thanks for your support and comforting words.....

I'm not very good in expressing myself....

Dun worry.....I'll never ever try to give up....

It's true that now they have only me....and I have only them too....

sotongmom76
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:15 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby Anna Ng » Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:56 pm

If you don mind, maybe seek for religion support? They will help you no matter you are citizen or not.

Anna Ng
BrownBelt
BrownBelt
 
Posts: 685
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:57 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby fussyMummy » Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:48 pm

sotongmom76 wrote:....I've tried the single parent support group but they couldn't help me because my children are Malaysians.


Hi sotongmom76,

I did seek help from those single parent support group too, yet no "support" from them too, even my kids are singaporean... :(

I totally can understand how you felt, as I also have similar issues with my kids too... I am lost sometimes, no one to talk with, no one to advise....but I keep remind myself to hang on, dont give up.... or else there will not be anymore HOPE on anything...

Keep move on, for kids and for yourself....

Must remember to take good care of yourself, beside taking good care of your kids...

fussyMummy
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
 
Posts: 404
Joined: Thu Sep 17, 2009 5:05 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby sotongmom76 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:28 am

just wondering how to get along with the children.maybe I'm not a good mom to them, because they just don't listen to me.

We had lost communicate with each other, espically my eldest. He'll only listen to his friends. He started treating us like nothing. Like just now, they are quarelling, so I asked them to stop. Guess wat, I saw his profile in the facebook asking me to QUIET!

That's really hurt me. We used to be very close, we used to play together, we used to chat, we used to do everything together.

Now he won't even want to go out with us. What's really happening between us.

Why do they like to quarelling with each other for nothing? Why he likes to shout at the slibings?

Is it just because he's OLD.....

I had tried my very best to communitcate with him, I had tried to talk to him and telling him why I'm angry with him. But turns out to be the same after a few days....

:stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :( :( :( :( :( :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

sotongmom76
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:15 pm
Total Likes: 0


Postby sotongmom76 » Sun Feb 20, 2011 1:29 am

just wondering how to get along with the children.maybe I'm not a good mom to them, because they just don't listen to me.

We had lost communicate with each other, espically my eldest. He'll only listen to his friends. He started treating us like nothing. Like just now, they are quarelling, so I asked them to stop. Guess wat, I saw his profile in the facebook asking me to QUIET!

That's really hurt me. We used to be very close, we used to play together, we used to chat, we used to do everything together.

Now he won't even want to go out with us. What's really happening between us.

Why do they like to quarelling with each other for nothing? Why he likes to shout at the slibings?

Is it just because he's OLD.....

I had tried my very best to communitcate with him, I had tried to talk to him and telling him why I'm angry with him. But turns out to be the same after a few days....

:stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :stupid: :( :( :( :( :( :( :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

sotongmom76
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
 
Posts: 24
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:15 pm
Total Likes: 0


Next

Return to Relationships