Valentine's Day 2009

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Valentine's Day 2009

Postby julian99 » Sat Feb 07, 2009 2:37 pm

Title: parents can still celebrate valentines day rite?

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Image

julian99
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Adult Time

Postby buds » Sat Feb 07, 2009 6:41 pm

Heyya all...

In our quest to be the best parents to our children,
the best worker in our company and also to be the
best child to our parents, we must try to find time
for ourselves too! Right?

I'm talking abt adult time.

As Valentine's Day is approaching,
I thought it wud be apt to start this new
topic. Why? Cos i for one dun celebrate
Valentine's Day.. :P Not cos i dun like to,
but cos the first time i was acquainted with
my husband,he was not for celebrating Valentine's.

His take on it is that, Valentine's Day is waaayy over-rated.
Everyday shud be Valentine's Day. Hence the reason i dun
even think abt it since then. At least until i saw the ticking
calendar on this forum, counting down the days to Valentine's
Day... :|

I'd love to hear your take on this, and share how you and your
spouse make time for adult time. It may just provide me with
more ideas... :evil:

Cheerios everyone!
Have a great weekend!
:celebrate:

buds
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Adult Time

Postby buds » Sun Feb 08, 2009 11:41 am

Adult time doesn't only mean with yer partner too.
At times, when the girls were in afternoon school,
i'll go chat up old girlfriends whom i still keep in
touch with, and we'll all go have girls night out!
:celebrate:

Hubs makes the effort to come home earlier or
sometimes just right on time for transport drop-
off and helps me settle the girls for the evening.
Dinner wud usually already been set up for them
before i leave or hubs wud say, "No need to cook
tonite, i'll just bring them for Mac D.. You have a
good time with yer friends..." :love:

And vice versa, i remind him to chill with his friends
outside of work.. Either for makan and guy talk, or
jam at the music studio or even just chilling out at
a friends plc for all guys night out with food delivery.

We adults need the time-out time too. Not the "corner"
kinda time out some chilidren kena.. but quiet time or
time for yourself to remember to be yourself and not
the daddy for the children or the mummy to the boys...
This will help keep our sanity to what we do everyday
for the family.

Other times, we do couple time.. Hubs at times take
leave for fun (without telling me in advance too!) and
we go out for movies and hi-tea when the kids
are at school! This way we dun compromise time for
the children at all.. which is sweet of hubs to do so.
:love:

Wedding anniversary is one occasion he DOES celebrate
though and usually with pleasant surprises too. My ever
so thoughtful daddie will offer to spend time with the
girls and tell me and hubs to have a good time together.
(Luv' ya daddie!) I remember once he brought me to
a spa! After which we're super duper starved and we both
ate a nice meal at a restaurant, with dessert. Upon fetching
the girls, they gave us hugs and kisses and asked how our
"date" went...(Aaaaaww...) Gave us handmade cards they
drew themselves and even dad has surprise gifts for us.
Sweet, ain't it..

These moments makes me feel appreciated for what i do
everyday which seems routine and the usual. Tho my family
makes it a point to say they appreciate what i do like, today's
dinner is great, mum... and hubs wud agree to it like yeah,
dinner is delicious... or hey, the toilet smells so nice, you
must've had a tired day scrubbing it clean, mummy... or the
house looks so good we just wanna put out feet up and relax,
...stuff like that... Its different altogether to celebrate it.

And best thing is, it doesn't have to wait till
Valentine's Day to do so..

Any day can be Valentine's Day.
:kiss:

buds
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Postby csc » Mon Feb 09, 2009 8:31 am

Hi Buds,

Thanks for the sharing. Agree with you that couple time is precious and reminds us that we are husband and wife in the first place. Somehow, as children come along, there is a tendency to forget that. Some couples even call each other mummy and daddy ???

I read somewhere that children feel somehow feel more secure and happy when they see their parents "loving" and having "time out" together.I also know of some couples who forget how to relate to each other after their kids have grown up and left the nest as their lives have been revolving around the children all this while.

Guess, there is a great need to make time for each other. As wives, we are so caught up with the managment of our kids and housework that we sometimes neglect our husbands' needs.

For us, we steal time away to have supper, once in a while , when kids are in their dreamland. Now, it's easier, cos they are bigger and we can even leave them at home if we need to go out.

We also enjoy journeys in the car without the kids as we get to share openly without the kids, listening in on us. Last year, we even managed to book a cruise to nowhere for 2 nights out, juz two of us. We are blessed to have my mother in law taking care of the kids while we're away.

Hey, we are planning for a short break together this March w/o kids again. Hmm looking forward to it.

We're not really into Valentine's Day, though, we often go out to have dinner as a family (if its a weekend).... we find it too commercialized and nothing romantic about queueing up outside restuarants to have a candlelight dinner!!! But we do send each other e-cards with mushy messages :oops: , to reaffirm our love for each other lah... :love:

We choose to store up on memories of good times shared and lessons learnt together. I'm thankful to God for the path we walk together. :D

csc
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Postby schellen » Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:10 am

I actually forgot about Valentine's Day until I started noticing the ads. :wink:

Yup, buds, sashimi and always try to spend some time together each night after our DD goes off to bed. Even talking is better than nothing. Of course, we are lucky that his parents occupy her most weekends so we get some time to ourselves too, be it a movie date or catching up with common friends.

schellen
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Heyya csc!

Postby buds » Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:36 pm

csc wrote:Thanks for the sharing. Agree with you that couple time is precious and reminds us that we are husband and wife in the first place. Somehow, as children come along, there is a tendency to forget that. Some couples even call each other mummy and daddy ???


Yah, i know watcha mean.. My in-laws are the example right in front
of me, they call each other by name!!! Not even dearie.. darling...
honey... baby... Nothing. So, out of curiosity, hahaa... i asked! My
MIL said since marriage days its been that way, sucks huh, but thats
how your FIL was and still is... Its worse when in public if he needs to
shout for me, he'll just call me "ooi!". But, she says she is used to it.

csc wrote:I read somewhere that children feel somehow feel more secure and happy when they see their parents "loving" and having "time out" together..


You are very right. We've seen how many children from problematic
father-mother environment or from broken homes who can have deep
emotional effect taking a toll on them and their esteem, either in TV
dramas or movies. Such children go either ways, refuse to turn out
like their parents (for the stronger ones) or end up exactly like their
parents, cos they dunno how to make out this word called affection
not seen in their own parents during their days of growing up within
the family..

csc wrote:I also know of some couples who forget how to relate to each other after their kids have grown up and left the nest as their lives have been revolving around the children all this while.


Yes, we tend to forget how we were, before we were given our children
in our lives... When life starts to totally revolve around children, it will
slowly burn out the passion and romance in a marriage, cause the things
done daily are all considered a duty, chores and responsibilities...
Love is expressed as a family thing..

buds
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Heyya schellen

Postby buds » Tue Feb 10, 2009 12:46 pm

schellen wrote:.......always try to spend some time together each night after our DD goes off to bed. Even talking is better than nothing


I totally agree with this schellen.

When hubs comes back from work, its catch up time with the kiddies,
school work, friends in school, dinner together, etc. So, for us too...
esp now that both are in AM session they sleep early (a great thing!)
so me and hubs have lotsa time to catch up talking abt friends we
bumped into recently and how they're doing... abt the kiddies and
how we're doing as their parents... cuddle up watch TV in the room
together... play scrabble (very therapeutic) ... or just the usual mushy
talk which can slowly turn out to be dirty talk! Hahahahahahaaaa! :evil:


schellen wrote:Of course, we are lucky that his parents occupy her most weekends so we get some time to ourselves too, be it a movie date or catching up with common friends.


LUCKY YOU!!!
That's nice!

buds
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Re: Heyya schellen

Postby schellen » Tue Feb 10, 2009 1:01 pm

buds wrote:
schellen wrote:Of course, we are lucky that his parents occupy her most weekends so we get some time to ourselves too, be it a movie date or catching up with common friends.


LUCKY YOU!!!
That's nice!


Ah, that's cos we don't live with them and they live quite some distance away from us, and are still working full-time. And our DD being their only grandchild also helps.

schellen
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Couple Cruise Time

Postby buds » Tue Feb 10, 2009 6:27 pm

Heyya csc,

2 nites cruise to nowhere sounds idyllic and rather romantic...
Without the kids.... hmmm.... must be nice.

buds
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20 things

Postby buds » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:22 pm

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buds
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