In-law problems?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.
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If you have a choice, would you stay with your in laws?

Yes
54
7%
No
704
93%
 
Total votes: 758

sweetbaby
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by sweetbaby » Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:50 pm

pokoyoko wrote:
Thu Jul 04, 2019 11:30 am
sweetbaby wrote:
Fri Jun 28, 2019 1:41 pm
Agree... Stayed with inlaws for awhile after we came back from overseas. Some can treat their DIL same as their own daughters, some cant.....
Which side are yours on? :boogie:
LOL, Lets say the water looks calm but actually frigid cold. I try to keep the interactions to the minimum :siam:

janet88
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by janet88 » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:54 am

sweetbaby wrote:
Thu Jul 04, 2019 12:50 pm

LOL, Lets say the water looks calm but actually frigid cold. I try to keep the interactions to the minimum :siam:
it's the same on my side too...the water has been cold from start.
it's not possible to even become lukewarm because of the backstabbing.

kimmy4
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by kimmy4 » Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:32 am

My in law will be staying at home for a vacation.. and it might take a month or two. I'm not sure if I should be happy or worried?? :nailbite:

Yunasan
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by Yunasan » Wed Sep 11, 2019 3:29 am

I really hate my MIL. Damn money face, everything she see is money. When we say pay her for helping me to do confinement, she just gave me a lame excuse as i am 63yr old and my body is unable to take it at night to feed the baby. Errm, my mum is like much older than her and she is more than happy to help me out. Where in the world is my MIL when i need her? I am planning not to even let her take care of my child during the day, later tell me say cannot i meeting my friends or sorry i am too tired or pay me to take care. In the end, no one to help. I feel like charging her whenever she comes and visit her grand child since she is so money face.

I agree with some, you qian chu qian you li chu li. This one is dont want to fork out both money and labour. The last time we quarrel over reno cos my in law never contribute a single cent or do anything to help us out. Few days later, my father in law offerred some cash and i am very grateful about it although it is not as much as my mum contribute.

mrs_see
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by mrs_see » Tue Sep 24, 2019 10:49 am

Before we get married, my partner and I decided to invest first in our place to stay which is away from both parties. We wanted to build our own family without being influenced by our relatives. And I think we made the right decision because we are living a happy family life for five years now. We still visit our own families but we do not stay for long.


breatheandgrow
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by breatheandgrow » Wed Sep 25, 2019 1:26 am

For a period of time, I was so convinced by my husband to buy a bigger condo to stay with my in-law so it will be easier when it comes to logistics for our children. I was especially tempted as our budget was very tight and put in-law offered to pay for full down payment. I am so happy that in the end my husband liked another smaller condo unit while my in-laws did not so we did not end up staying together. At times when my mil feed my kids junk non-stop and let them watch YouTube for entire duration they are there, I feel so lucky that we are not staying together. Since it only happens when we visit them once a week, I also could stomach only unhappiness and let go.

Vince19
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by Vince19 » Fri Nov 15, 2019 6:23 pm

My in-laws are interfering with how I impose discipline on my children. How can I politely tell my in-law not to interfere in I way I discipline my kids?

jedamum
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by jedamum » Fri Nov 15, 2019 10:05 pm

Vince19 wrote:
Fri Nov 15, 2019 6:23 pm
My in-laws are interfering with how I impose discipline on my children. How can I politely tell my in-law not to interfere in I way I discipline my kids?
You can't, i guess.
WW3 broke out in our household when i told them this. I was told i was disrespectful. I then questioned them if it was respectful towards me when they told me off in front of my boy.

Any way, that was a decade ago for us. If you need their childcare help, you have no choice but to try to work around it til the kids are older.

Even my mum interfere with my bro disciplining his boy. My bro approached me to talk to my mom. But she wont listen. To her, she is saving the boy from his dad and mum who dont know how to teach him. :shrug: i told her that is their kid, let them handle.
She insisted that she brought up 4 and did not even scold so much. I think she forgotten that it was my dad who did the authoritarian stuff at home (eg, cane, scold, criticise, angry eyes etc).

Regin
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by Regin » Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:46 am

I moved in to stay with my in laws after my brother in law insisted on moving out as my mil became diagnosed wtih dementia. Initially I was very unhappy because my in laws were not nice to me. When tiffs happened between their daughter and I, they would naturally defend their daughter without even finding out facts. In fact, they would dote the daughter until give her their master bedroom. You can imagine the bias. I also felt it was unfair bcos my parents helped me with the kids and they only help with their daughter's so when mil had dementia, they should stay.
But I look at her now, left to sit on the toilet bowl most of the day and in pampers by the maid, I felt sorry for her that she would never expect all her CPF savings given to daughter for studies and helping her kids, that her son in law could convince her daughter to walk out.

It was a huge strain on my marriage. My son is now 9 so it has been many years. In her current state, we no longer have anything to argue, sometimes I hold her hands to pray for her. The one I have issue is the maid. My mum in law is plump so finding a big size maid is not easy. The maid would invite guests over to stay in her room and have weekly parties in the house. I am naturally extremely unhappy about this. But my father in law would tell us to tahan all these (which i feel is easy since he also stay at his other property) bcos the doctor says dont change maid otherwise we will disorientate my mil and cause her anxiety.

Correcting the maid about looking after my mil also yields nothing as the maid would snub me "later...i know what to do ok?" while she talk talk talk or cook for her party.

Attending church, sometimes I feel this is my cross to bear. The only comfort is my younger son knows never to throw away any family member even if the person is useless and a burden.

Regin
YellowBelt
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by Regin » Tue Nov 19, 2019 10:46 am

I moved in to stay with my in laws after my brother in law insisted on moving out as my mil became diagnosed wtih dementia. Initially I was very unhappy because my in laws were not nice to me. When tiffs happened between their daughter and I, they would naturally defend their daughter without even finding out facts. In fact, they would dote the daughter until give her their master bedroom. You can imagine the bias. I also felt it was unfair bcos my parents helped me with the kids and they only help with their daughter's so when mil had dementia, they should stay.
But I look at her now, left to sit on the toilet bowl most of the day and in pampers by the maid, I felt sorry for her that she would never expect all her CPF savings given to daughter for studies and helping her kids, that her son in law could convince her daughter to walk out.

It was a huge strain on my marriage. My son is now 9 so it has been many years. In her current state, we no longer have anything to argue, sometimes I hold her hands to pray for her. The one I have issue is the maid. My mum in law is plump so finding a big size maid is not easy. The maid would invite guests over to stay in her room and have weekly parties in the house. I am naturally extremely unhappy about this. But my father in law would tell us to tahan all these (which i feel is easy since he also stay at his other property) bcos the doctor says dont change maid otherwise we will disorientate my mil and cause her anxiety.

Correcting the maid about looking after my mil also yields nothing as the maid would snub me "later...i know what to do ok?" while she talk talk talk or cook for her party.

Attending church, sometimes I feel this is my cross to bear. The only comfort is my younger son knows never to throw away any family member even if the person is useless and a burden.

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