In-law problems?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.
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If you have a choice, would you stay with your in laws?

Yes
56
7%
No
706
93%
 
Total votes: 762

skii
BlueBelt
BlueBelt
Posts: 391
Joined: Wed Jan 23,
Total Likes:3

Re: In-law problems?

Post by skii » Tue Nov 19, 2019 12:34 pm

breatheandgrow wrote:
Wed Sep 25, 2019 1:26 am
For a period of time, I was so convinced by my husband to buy a bigger condo to stay with my in-law so it will be easier when it comes to logistics for our children. I was especially tempted as our budget was very tight and put in-law offered to pay for full down payment. I am so happy that in the end my husband liked another smaller condo unit while my in-laws did not so we did not end up staying together. At times when my mil feed my kids junk non-stop and let them watch YouTube for entire duration they are there, I feel so lucky that we are not staying together. Since it only happens when we visit them once a week, I also could stomach only unhappiness and let go.
IL are vice providers - fact.

youtube/pokemon go la.
sweets la
packet drinks la.

everytime come, will bring all these nonsese.
which kid will not love this type of grandparents?

rainbow_icecream
OrangeBelt
OrangeBelt
Posts: 32
Joined: Fri Nov 22,
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Re: In-law problems?

Post by rainbow_icecream » Fri Nov 22, 2019 2:15 pm

Of course not, never wanted to before I even got married. I cherish my own personal space. I don't even want to stay with my parents! Hahaha...

STmummy
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
Posts: 25
Joined: Tue Sep 06,
Total Likes:3

Re: In-law problems?

Post by STmummy » Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:53 pm

I feel my problem is created by hubby. His parents seldom showed their concern with my children. They are only interested in their own son or their other set of grandchildren taken care by them.
He wants to be filial to his parents. Tried to include them for our holidays. We did a few times and they are always full of comments, can't walk much or just stay in hotel rooms. But hubby will always comment don't know how many more years they are left with. Then I will be wondering, why are you always cursing your parents? Many can live up to 90! I may be the one who may just die of heart attack tmrw with all these unhappiness in me! Whenever we argued over his parents, he will always be super critical and defensive over them! And I did not even say things about asking him to choose. He volunteered and said that!
They did not help at all when it comes to my children. Whenever we need last minute babysitting, it's always my side helping us.

I am just so tired arguing with hubby over his parents who are only interested in him (their son). Whenever I see other grandfathers playing with their grandchildren, I ached for my kids. My father passed away long ago and they will never be able to feel the love of a grandfather. Because he just can't be bothered.

CerlynR
GreenBelt
GreenBelt
Posts: 156
Joined: Thu Mar 08,
Total Likes:1

Re: In-law problems?

Post by CerlynR » Wed Dec 04, 2019 5:22 pm

STmummy wrote:
Wed Dec 04, 2019 4:53 pm
I feel my problem is created by hubby. His parents seldom showed their concern with my children. They are only interested in their own son or their other set of grandchildren taken care by them.
He wants to be filial to his parents. Tried to include them for our holidays. We did a few times and they are always full of comments, can't walk much or just stay in hotel rooms. But hubby will always comment don't know how many more years they are left with. Then I will be wondering, why are you always cursing your parents? Many can live up to 90! I may be the one who may just die of heart attack tmrw with all these unhappiness in me! Whenever we argued over his parents, he will always be super critical and defensive over them! And I did not even say things about asking him to choose. He volunteered and said that!
They did not help at all when it comes to my children. Whenever we need last minute babysitting, it's always my side helping us.

I am just so tired arguing with hubby over his parents who are only interested in him (their son). Whenever I see other grandfathers playing with their grandchildren, I ached for my kids. My father passed away long ago and they will never be able to feel the love of a grandfather. Because he just can't be bothered.

I can feel how disappointed and mad you are with the situation. Have you tried to talk to them and tell them what's on your mind?

BlueCheese
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Nov 04,

Re: In-law problems?

Post by BlueCheese » Wed Jan 22, 2020 5:29 pm

Happy new year to all! Hope all get along well with inlaws 顺顺利利 in the Mouse Year 2020 :rahrah:


JamieLoh85
YellowBelt
YellowBelt
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Dec 19,
Total Likes:1

Re: In-law problems?

Post by JamieLoh85 » Fri Apr 10, 2020 1:53 pm

It's hard when you're in-laws are staying with your family.. Many misconceptions and arguments that can't be resolved. Good thing they decided to leave and live on their own. Honestly, I don't know what else to do if they're still with us right now.

EmmaP
OrangeBelt
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Posts: 37
Joined: Thu Dec 19,

Re: In-law problems?

Post by EmmaP » Tue Apr 14, 2020 2:21 pm

Five tips to build trust

Are you a wife or mother locked in an adversarial relationship with your WIL? Are you already living in a no-trust zone? Here are five practical tips to help you build trust with your WIL:

Treat your daughter- or mother-in-law as family. She is connected to someone you love deeply — try to understand how he feels about your WIL. Be sure you treat your daughter-in-law as your son would expect (or your mother-in-law as your husband would expect). Even if her behavior toward you is difficult or rude, you can choose to respond respectfully to her.

Forgive your mother- or daughter-in-law. Set aside grudges and past hurts. How is that possible? By following Christ’s example and forgiving her for the hurt in order to build the relationship. Jesus is there to help through His strength and love.

Speak kindly. The Bible reminds us in Ephesians 4:15 that we are to speak “the truth in love” and that “we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” Truth spoken without love can be painful. Be candid but kind and use the truth to liberate, not annihilate.

Avoid manipulation. Manipulating and attempting to control others to serve yourself does not demonstrate the love of God. Ask Him what you can do to serve the best interest of the family, which includes your daughter- or mother-in-law.

Give trust. Believe that others are essentially honest. Be willing to disclose appropriately. If you want to be trusted, go first: Trust your in-law until given a reason not to. For inspiration, consider the book of Ruth. That story depicts a beautiful women-in-law relationship with a joyful ending.

https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marria ... -problems/

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