BGR for a 13 year old

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.
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Integer
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by Integer » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:10 am

ttlkbs wrote:13 is too young, then is 16 young too? Dunno how to talk to a 16 yr old boy about this.

To me, 16 is also too young, prob 18 is abt right, Uni age will be best ...haha..

I have a 16 yr old boy too ... since many moons ago I've hinted/said directly that 18 is the magical no., anything below is not acceptable cos will be too young, not mature enough ...yada yada yada... Guess it has gone to his head, althou I know he has/had some puppy love crushes ...wh are harmless cos even his mama had them ard his age.

But if yr 16yr old's puppy love is more serious, then may have to thread more carefully cos sometimes for teens, the more pple disagree, the more they want to go ahead...If both of them can study together and sch is not affected, we might have to give in for now and let nature takes its course ( die a natural death or a lifelong partner?)

Good Luck.

janet88
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by janet88 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:17 am

after watching 'ah boys to men', son said NS is not a good time to have a girlfriend. at uni, maybe...if the couple can motivate each other to study...the guy would have finished his NS by then.

Porky Pig
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by Porky Pig » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:27 am

I was having a conversation with my 13 year old sonny on BGR yesterday. Apparently one of his buddy dropped out of a sport CCA yesterday. Asked sonny what happened. Sonny said since the sport CCA trains 3x a week, his buddy does not have time to spend with his girlfren hence he decided to quit and move to a more laidback CCA. Asked sonny whether he has a girlfren too and he said yes he has many girlfrens. *Fainted*

slmkhoo
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by slmkhoo » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:49 am

My girls distinguish between 'boyfriend' and 'friends who are boys'. We have told them that we think 'boyfriends' and 'single dates' should not be considered until they are closer to the age when deciding on a life partner is realistic, which shouldn't be until 18yo at the very earliest, and probably not until they are within a couple of years of being in a position to get married. They seem to agree (so far) - at 15 and 17 yo. They have a no. of 'friends who are boys' in church and school, but have never had a 'boyfriend'. They tell me that social activities and group interaction is much more comfortable this way.

zbear
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by zbear » Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:55 am

Dh's nephew got into relationship with his classmate at 15 years n is still in the same relationship now at 22 - still going strong. So, its already for 7 years.

We felt he is too young to start n its so boring to have the 1st n last girl in his entire life- assuming he will go on to marry her n stay with her till his old age.


janet88
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by janet88 » Thu Apr 17, 2014 8:29 am

I always tell my son...getting to know more girls when he gets older is ok, just don't get intimate...don't get tied down too early...this way he will understand what kind of girls will be his type. will tell my daughter the same thing when she is older.

slmkhoo
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by slmkhoo » Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:22 am

zbear wrote:Dh's nephew got into relationship with his classmate at 15 years n is still in the same relationship now at 22 - still going strong. So, its already for 7 years.

We felt he is too young to start n its so boring to have the 1st n last girl in his entire life- assuming he will go on to marry her n stay with her till his old age.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I know friends who also dated from sec school and they are still together 35 yrs on. Others broke up, earlier or later, though some not until after being married for years. I don't know about boring - I married my first and only boyfriend, and I've never thought it boring! We didn't meet quite that early though - met at 19 but didn't 'go steady' until a year or so later, married at 23, celebrating 27 yrs of marriage this year.

bb_ mom
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by bb_ mom » Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:11 am

I think at 13yo, they're busy having crushes. They're too young to know what kind of guy or girl is compatible with them. They're focused on how cute or how smart the guy or girl is. I told my DS no dating until uni. And every opportunity, when watching movies, DH & I reinforce this. Particularly about taking care of herself and avoiding intimacy.

Funz
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by Funz » Thu Apr 17, 2014 10:13 am

When I was in school, mum and dad were strict. Hardly get to go out with friends what more have boyfriend. It was frowned upon. Even when some guy profess his crush with flowers or gifts, I dare not bring those home for I will definitely get an earful from Daddy. So I had many friends and many guy friends but no boyfriend.

Fast forward 10yrs, at 27yrs old, I still have not brought home any boyfriend to introduce to mum and dad. Now mum is getting worried, so she tells me, no need so many guy friends, must find a boyfriend. High time you look at settling down. Haha.

Now I tell DD she is too young to even think about what boyfriend, girlfriend stuff. And I hope she makes it into an all girls sec sch. And I am saying about the same thing my parents said to me. Who knows, in about 15yrs time, I may be saying to her what my mum told me as well.

kwcllf
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Re: BGR for a 13 year old

Post by kwcllf » Thu Apr 17, 2014 11:14 am

My DS is 14 this year and in class, the boys are overwhelmed by girls - like 8 boys to 34 girls!

He always seems shy when I talked to him about his girl classmates, and he said he is not interested in girls now as he is still too young.

Quite sensible of him and so no worries on our part with regards to BGR. But nevertheless, I tells him that he should still mix around with the girls in his class and not just stick to the few boys he has. It is good for him to learn how to socialise with the opposite sex.

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