Love or responsibility

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Love or responsibility

Postby chloecube » Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:19 am

After married for 10 yrs, i am sure all sparks would have died down for most of us.how do we create or find back that kind of feeling while we were still dating ?

how do we know if we still love our other half or we stay together out of responsibility.

is there is "test" , questionairs or method for us to do to see if we still love them?
:?

chloecube
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby Chenonceau » Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:55 am

I think, for us, that the first flush of hot love has been replaced by a slow burning attachment comprised of

(1) responsibility
(2) deep mutual respect
(3) comfortable familiarity
(4) many shared happy moments
(5) many resolved conflicts + some not quite resolved
(6) deep knowledge of the other's pressure buttons (DON'T PRESS)

It's a warm and comfortable feeling. Not the hot and exciting sort.

Chenonceau
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby Angelight » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:05 pm

Agree with you whole-heartedly! :smile:

Chenonceau wrote:I think, for us, that the first flush of hot love has been replaced by a slow burning attachment comprised of

(1) responsibility
(2) deep mutual respect
(3) comfortable familiarity
(4) many shared happy moments
(5) many resolved conflicts + some not quite resolved
(6) deep knowledge of the other's pressure buttons (DON'T PRESS)

It's a warm and comfortable feeling. Not the hot and exciting sort.

Angelight
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby Chenonceau » Thu Sep 15, 2011 12:06 pm

Angelight wrote:Agree with you whole-heartedly! :smile:

Chenonceau wrote:I think, for us, that the first flush of hot love has been replaced by a slow burning attachment comprised of

(1) responsibility
(2) deep mutual respect
(3) comfortable familiarity
(4) many shared happy moments
(5) many resolved conflicts + some not quite resolved
(6) deep knowledge of the other's pressure buttons (DON'T PRESS)

It's a warm and comfortable feeling. Not the hot and exciting sort.


:hi5:

Chenonceau
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby chloecube » Thu Sep 15, 2011 4:28 pm

Chenonceau wrote:I think, for us, that the first flush of hot love has been replaced by a slow burning attachment comprised of

(1) responsibility
(2) deep mutual respect
(3) comfortable familiarity
(4) many shared happy moments
(5) many resolved conflicts + some not quite resolved
(6) deep knowledge of the other's pressure buttons (DON'T PRESS)

It's a warm and comfortable feeling. Not the hot and exciting sort.



:goodpost: Chenonceau

i read your points a few time and start to think abt it one by one
what you said is very true
when there is responsibility, there is love

chloecube
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby sleepy » Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:30 pm

Initially years, 情人
After many years, 亲人

I suppose equally unseparable

sleepy
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby chloecube » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:18 am

well said sleepy, but i have seen a few cases of couple staying together due to kids and also they are used to each other (not love). there is still feeling but not love anymore, i know becos from the way they talk and behave is worst than frds.

this kind of marriage is very dangerous, bcos at any one time one party met another , it will become an EMA.

chloecube
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby tankee » Fri Sep 16, 2011 9:32 am

sleepy wrote:Initially years, 情人
After many years, 亲人

I suppose equally unseparable



hopefully won't ended up as 气人

:wink: :siam:

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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby autumnbronze » Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:07 am

Chenonceau wrote:I think, for us, that the first flush of hot love has been replaced by a slow burning attachment comprised of

(1) responsibility
(2) deep mutual respect
(3) comfortable familiarity
(4) many shared happy moments
(5) many resolved conflicts + some not quite resolved
(6) deep knowledge of the other's pressure buttons (DON'T PRESS)

It's a warm and comfortable feeling. Not the hot and exciting sort.


:goodpost: Chen!!!

Ver apt :smile:

I am happy to say that despite being together for almost 21 years (married for 12 years), the 'chemistry' is still strong. So that's an added bonus!!

autumnbronze
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Re: Love or responsibility

Postby indigoblue » Fri Sep 16, 2011 10:39 am

chloecube wrote:well said sleepy, but i have seen a few cases of couple staying together due to kids and also they are used to each other (not love). there is still feeling but not love anymore, i know becos from the way they talk and behave is worst than frds.

this kind of marriage is very dangerous, bcos at any one time one party met another , it will become an EMA.


Agreed, for these couples its like this:

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Al Gore

indigoblue
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