KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

if i am a mil, i dont wish to

1) stay with my kids.
2) look after my grandchildren.
3) cook dinner every night for anyone (except dh) to come home to eat.
4) have to handle the my kids' maid (s).

can only think of the above at this moment, but you never know how things might be like in the future, so................

keeps out of my kids' affairs.

1) I will be nice to DIL / Son-in-law if they are respectful.
2) I won't sell my house to go live with them. The legacy will only be theirs when I am no longer around.
3) I will help with their children if necessary but won't want to be taken for granted. They better pay me and not give me the "unhappy" face if I discipline or pamper their children. Otherwise, they can send their kids to an infant care if they prefer.
4) I want my free time and privacy. So preferably, please don't move in with me.

I won't want to live in their homes coz I don't want to feel like I owe them a living. Vice versa is different coz I can chase them out of my house if they are naughty.

And I don't understand how some people can be angry with their parents for pampering / disciplining the grandkids? They are already so fortunate to have willing parents to help with their babies. If you don't agree with your parents' way of bringing up the kids, then don't impose on your aged parents! Get a nanny or maid or go to an infantcare. Guarantee you get more heartache.

LOLMum wrote:if i am a mil, i dont wish to

1) stay with my kids.
2) look after my grandchildren.
3) cook dinner every night for anyone (except dh) to come home to eat.
4) have to handle the my kids' maid (s).

can only think of the above at this moment, but you never know how things might be like in the future, so................

after you start to cuddle your grandkids, your perspective may change ....... lol ...who knows, you may become over possessive overnight ? keke, joke only ....

yeah, i know i will definitely love my grandchildren.

however, if my kids in law and i cant click, better to keep a distance.

LOLMum wrote:if i am a mil, i dont wish to

1) stay with my kids.
2) look after my grandchildren.
3) cook dinner every night for anyone (except dh) to come home to eat.
4) have to handle the my kids' maid (s).

can only think of the above at this moment, but you never know how things might be like in the future, so................

I don't mind looking after grandchildren if my DIL needs help. I don't mind cooking extra for them since we need to eat too. But I don't wish to clean their house for them, borrow them money to buy luxuries goods, sell my house to stay with them, go tour with them, getting too involve in their daily chores.

My rules:
1) Hope not to stay with my kids...xiang1 jian4 rong2 yi4, tong2 zu4 nan2.
2) Hope I don't get involved in educating my grandchildren.
3) Hope I don't have to cook dinner OTHER than for husband.
4) Hope I don't have to sell house to stay with them...I still want to call the shots in my own place.
5) Hope I don't have to babysit children's maids.

If I am a MIL, I will be just like my MIL - simple, kind, non-intrusive.

sometimes 好心没好报.

been a sahm for so long, i want to spend more time with dh to do our own things and not be tied down by their wants unless absolutely necessary like the health reasons.

Nowadays kids thinking are so different from us. Will there be new type of 婆媳 problem?