Is this normal relationship?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Is this normal relationship?

Postby Fireflyserene » Thu Jan 26, 2012 9:55 pm

I am married with a child for over 10years. Our marriage has been v dramatic. My dh is an alcoholic. His dependency on alcohol has been getting from bad to worst. It is painful not able to help him change this undesirable behavior. He would either drunk and not returning home or back in the eve next day. At times, no return! I read about topics in KSP namely, love or responsibility.I'm not sure how to deal with this (v draining emotionally, physically). He knows I dislike his alcoholism and has been avoiding me. I love my family v much but I'm totality helpless! Help!

Fireflyserene
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Re: Is this normal relationship?

Postby 365psych » Thu Jan 26, 2012 11:39 pm

Firstly he needs to agree to be helped. Have to identify why he drinks. Is it a form of escapism? Is he avoiding something? Can he not face something? Is it an addiction that cannot be let-go easily? There are many issues, and each one will have a different approach. But first he must agree to be helped.

I suggest you call James Cook University (Upper Thomson Road), and ask to speak to someone in the psychology clinic. They offer very very low cost counselling and psychology help. Cognitive behaviour therapy is one way to solve an addiction issue. Building close family bonds is another. If you go to a professional counsellor, it'll cost $$. If you ask CDC for counselling help, they will dig deep. JCU is really good. Call them, they will help you.

I however would like to applaud you for asking for help, and give you a brotherly hug to tell you that if you want change and if you seek change, then change will happen. Just be strong and persevere. Your spouse should know how much you love him, and if he love you one bit, he will change.

Good luck. God Bless.

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Re: Is this normal relationship?

Postby Fireflyserene » Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:03 pm

Thank u, 365psych for your reply.
Is it a religious organization or? How does it work and the charges?

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Re: Is this normal relationship?

Postby Fireflyserene » Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:16 pm

Found the web-link about James Cook University:-
http://www.jcu.edu.sg/Home/ContactUs/ta ... fault.aspx
Thanks again, 365psych

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Re: Is this normal relationship?

Postby ayeritam1975 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 2:28 pm

I am curious if Fireflyserene manage to get help for her husband? I am having the same experience though hubby don't go out to drink every night and not come home but over the years he did go out at night and come home only next morning, usually on Friday or Saturday night. he does not agreed or admit he is alcoholic or having high dependency on alcohol.

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Re: Is this normal relationship?

Postby MINMINNYMIN » Thu Oct 11, 2012 4:22 pm

This is not normal... Infact my ex husband used to be the same. It basically stems down to them being selfish and thinking about themselves all the time. It is easy for them to go out and "relax" and think that they can come home whenever they please, but what would happen if you did the same thing???

If they are ok with you doing the same things, then they are not selfish, but I can bet you he wouldn't like it... Yes he may now be addicted to alcohol and needs help, but also you must get help for your marriage. If he is not coming home where is he?

It will take alot of work for you both to get through this, hopefully you do better than me :roll:

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