Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

Successful parenting is founded on successful relationships between spouses and relatives. We must not neglect our spouse while we focus our attention on grooming our children to become the best they can be. Discuss relationship issues here.

Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

Postby 3Boys » Tue May 19, 2009 6:14 pm

A bit like asking whether food or water is more important. Reading through a different thread, really sent a shudder down my spine. God forbid that I fail so badly in my marriage that we should seek a separation.

DW and I have vowed that no matter how KSParents we be, we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, romance each other and have 'together' time very regularly. In the busyness of work and child-minding, its all too easy to take each other for granted, and then slowly drift apart. If the bond is strong and there is intimacy, many obstacles can be overcome.

My posit is that a strong marriage begets a strong family, and if there were a conflict between spouse-time and kid-time, spouse time usually comes out ahead.

Your thoughts?

3Boys
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Re: Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

Postby jedamum » Tue May 19, 2009 6:25 pm

3Boys wrote:we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.

sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count? :wink:

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Re: Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

Postby 3Boys » Tue May 19, 2009 6:54 pm

jedamum wrote:
3Boys wrote:we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.

sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count? :wink:


I think the more imaginative people in the forum are thinking it more than counts :wink:

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Re: Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

Postby Guest » Tue May 19, 2009 7:04 pm

3Boys wrote:
jedamum wrote:
3Boys wrote:we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week.

sneaking into the dark kitchen to quietly snack on ice-cream twice a week without letting the kids know...does that count? :wink:


I think the more imaginative people in the forum are thinking it more than counts :wink:


:lol: Certainly spending time together in any way(legally) is better than none!
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Postby Guest » Tue May 19, 2009 7:15 pm

I am of the same view that strong spouse relationships supports strong family ties especially when children look to the parents as role models and pillars in a family.

My spouse and I hardly speak in loud tones to one another, so my child does not speak in loud tones either. She watches us very closely so if we don't get ourselves right, it will affect her.

Spouse time is definitely important as people can grow apart. Once that happens, the family unit will also fall apart.

So if I need to make a clearly defined choice, it would be spouse time and typically this time is more quality time than quantity time.

For children, relative to spouse, they will need more quantity of time from us. Also, I think children should be educated to know that parents need time together without their presence, then there is no need to make choices, they will make themselves scarce on their own... :lol:
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Postby sleepy » Tue May 19, 2009 8:04 pm

Hubby!
:love:

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Postby winth » Tue May 19, 2009 10:46 pm

Hubby is more important than the 2 precious boys that we have.
We squeeze whatever time we have to spend together amidst the child-minding/playing/family time. We are a very sticky family, so everything do together. Couple time comes only when children goes to school/asleep.

Our live role model comes from my in-laws. Once marriage malfunctions, the children too shall suffer the bitterness in a failed marriage. We meet them weekly for such 'sessions' - to show how a family collapses. (i'm not being cynical here)

ks2me wrote:My spouse and I hardly speak in loud tones to one another, so my child does not speak in loud tones either. She watches us very closely so if we don't get ourselves right, it will affect her.


Second to that!
Still trying to learn as DH and I are both raised in families who do speak in quite loud volume. End up we do speak in that volume too. Trying (really hard) to speak in softer tones to the children.

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Postby westmom » Wed May 20, 2009 5:39 pm

Hmm...spouse or kid first ?..Hmm

Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?

Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...

Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....

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Postby mamamiya » Wed May 20, 2009 5:51 pm

westmom wrote:Hmm...spouse or kid first ?..Hmm

Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?

Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...

Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....


haha...sounds familiar.... :D

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Postby 3Boys » Wed May 20, 2009 5:53 pm

westmom wrote:Hmm...spouse or kid first ?..Hmm

Scene A:
Feverish DD : Mom..I feel so weak and my fever is like it's not going to come down...
Me : Don't worry dear, I will sleep beside you tonight... You feel better then right?

Scene B:
Feverish DH : I got fever and I feel weak
Me : Just take panadol and go to sleep. By the way, sleep in the guestroom so that we don't get your virus...

Answer is quite clear for my case..hor ? ha ha....


No sponge bath for DH? :lol:

3Boys
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