KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

How to salvage marriage n is it impossible if partner strays or having extra marital affair??

it takes 2 to make a marriage work, if the other party is no longer interested in making it work, please move on and save yourself unnecessary heartache. Life is too short to keep waiting and wishing.
This is what my husband and I have agreed upon. I will have my son and the house that we co-own.

Fireflyserene wrote:How to salvage marriage n is it impossible if partner strays or having extra marital affair??

Actually no one can tell you. However, please don't give up on marriage, on your spouse easily. We vowed to go thru thick and thin, up and down, happiness and sorrow together. EMA is upsetting and you would feel betrayed and it is definitely hurtful.

Find out why your spouse stray? Is it he finds it no big deal? Or that his friends also doing it? Or he think so long he can do his job professionally it is ok, view that many had expressed recently?

Hope your marriage is ok.

It is not impossible but one hand cannot clap. Sometimes it is good to look at the bigger picture and keep your perspective. Marriage is but one aspect of life. Keep your cool and priorities clear and you will be able to have a better idea of what you need to do, moving forward.

Perhaps the book by Dr James Dobson might help: Love must be tough, new hope for families in crisis.

For some, an affair does mean the end of marriage, but this is not always the case. Marriages can survive to become stronger and monogamous.

Maybe right now you need to relieve your suffering by identifying your negative thoughts. Changing your thoughts can make you feel better.

For example, instead of saying to yourself, "the fact that my spouse had an affair proves that our marriage has failed," try substituting a thought like ,"the fact that my spouse had an affair shows that we have had some problems and we need to see how we got to this point."

Listen to yourself think. This approach is not merely positive thinking. The intention is to encourage you to view your spouse's actions, potential consequences of the infidelity and your opinions in a more realistic fashion.

Decision making is an important aspect of such an affair of the heart. You must live with your decision; the friends who give you advice do not have to. They are NOT living your life. Think carefully about what is best for you.

Pray that all will be well for you.

There are two primary choices in life:
To accept conditions as they exist, or
accept the responsibility for changing them
- Denis Waitley

Cannot turn back the clock, only can look forward, decide what is more important, especially when there are kids involved.

We cannot control what has happened, we cannot predict what will happened, we can only do our best to deal with it and focus on the more important things in life.
Life is too short to be unhappy. If whatever had happened, had happened.

Hope this helps.

A marriage can be salvage or worth salvaging when both parties want to work at it ... you can listen to all advices but ultimately the decision it's yours and only you (plus kid/s if any) to live with ...

Fireflyserene wrote:How to salvage marriage n is it impossible if partner strays or having extra marital affair??

How does your partner treat you now? Is he remorseful? He actually wanted to exit marriage or he begs for forgiveness? One off or serial offender?

Many things to consider and it depends on various factors.

cfan wrote:There are two primary choices in life:
To accept conditions as they exist, or
accept the responsibility for changing them
- Denis Waitley

Cannot turn back the clock, only can look forward, decide what is more important, especially when there are kids involved.

We cannot control what has happened, we cannot predict what will happened, we can only do our best to deal with it and focus on the more important things in life.
Life is too short to be unhappy. If whatever had happened, had happened.

Hope this helps.