KiasuParents - Parenting in Singapore

I have been married for 8 years.For the past 1 year, my hubby have been avoiding being intimate with me.When I question him about sex, he will always mention that marriage is not all about sex. Couple do not need to have sex to enjoy a happy marriage.

He will always try to make me feel bad or to look like I'm a sex addict whenever I tried to be intimate with him. Sometimes, I wonder if my hubby is a gay. I will always secretly check his hp and I could not find any evidance of him having a martial affair with another woman. I did everything I could to be attrative in his eyes but my hubby will totaly ignore me. When we go out and other men look at me, he will get annoyed. Why is it other men find me attractive but not my husband?

I'm 33 working mum and hubby 41.We are staying on our own so I don't see the reason of him being uncomfortable.

1. Is it normal for a married couple not to have any physical contact for 1 year.

2. Can I be lable as a sex addict for wanting to make love to my own hubby. The last time we did it was more than a year ago

3. When hubby do not find you attractive anymore, does this mean the end of your marriage?

Could he be having Erectile Dysfunction? Some men with this condition avoid sex and also refuse to see the doctor.

cherrygal wrote:Could he be having Erectile Dysfunction? Some men with this condition avoid sex and also refuse to see the doctor.

Think possible.....many man are too proud to admit or simply self-denial or hope that it's just a passing phase and hence, choose to wait.......

The only way is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Gently broach the topic of ED and assure him you will never think any lesser of him. ED can be treated with medication.

Why not seduce/tease him in the middle of the night while he's asleep...sure got natural reaction one what!

cherrygal wrote:The only way is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Gently broach the topic of ED and assure him you will never think any lesser of him. ED can be treated with medication.

I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED.
Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

erista wrote:I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED. Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

I agree, have a good talk and don't conclude that he has ED. Could be some other reasons.

Age also plays a part. My DH is also 41 and he is definitely not as "active" as say, 5 years ago. There can be many reasons, parenting responsibilities (for example, our kids sleep with us. Sigh.), work stress, age, health etc.

erista wrote:

cherrygal wrote:The only way is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Gently broach the topic of ED and assure him you will never think any lesser of him. ED can be treated with medication.

I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED.
Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

Yah, you must first find out his reasons for not wanting to be intimate. If no proper reason given, then you could mention you can help him if it's health related. If he acts blur, then gently ask if there's anything you could do. Tell him it's not normal for a married couple to abstain for more than a year. There must be a reason. Age is one thing but even if he were dat tired, he would agree to once in 2 months bah...

BTW, do tell him to go for a medical check up if possible. Not for ED but for other health issues such as diabetes, high blood etc. Diabetes can lead to ED actually. An uncle had that.